Drown in your sorrow and fears,
Choke on your blood and your tears.
Bleed 'til you've run out of years.

     We must do what it takes to survive!

     Give up your honor and faith,
Live up your life as a wraith.
Die in the blood where you bathe

     We must do what it takes to survive

     We are the same, you and I

Selmhem Naise
03/2016

Poetry is so much
more
than many people think it is.
It is
the place
where the battleground of light and dark
makes its  finest stand..

or most pathetic fall.

I look forward to the day I fail my final,
Because it’ll mean I tried.
I look forward to the day a girl rejects me,
Because it’ll mean I had courage.
I look forward to the day I’m arrested,
Because it’ll mean I found a boundary.
I look forward to the day I get lines on my forehead,
Because it’ll mean I earn them.

I look forward to the day I argue with my wife,
Because it’ll mean I found my person.
I look forward to the day my child is difficult,
Because it’ll mean I see him grow, change.
I look forward to the day I die of old age,
Because it’ll mean I lived.

I miss myself.
Not me now,
but before.

Before I grew older,
and learned awful things.
Before I stopped wearing sundresses,
and pigtails in my hair.

I miss the me that didn't fall apart like glass.
I miss the me that didn't have false hope
that everything would get better.
I miss the me that didn't run from her problems.

I want the me who wanted to stand on the sun,
and reach for the clouds.
I want the me who only cried over a dropped ice cream cone,
or a broken toy.
I want the me who always smiled wide enough,
that you could see her tongue through her gapped teeth.

I want to be what I was.
I want to be happy.
I want to not care what others think.
I want to not be rocks at the bottom of the lake.

I long not to be myself.
I long to be the version that people liked,
and wanted.

Give me a name.
Give me a title that I will only hear,
when it drifts from your soft lips.

Don't call me by the simple name I have now.
A name I never wanted,
nor asked for.

I long for the name
that makes you think of sweeter things.
Like sugar.
Like the sun.

I want the name that comes to mind
when I am held in your sight,
or in the back of your thoughts.

Would it be nicer?
Would it be longer or shorter?
Would my new name be simple,
or a mouthful?

Or maybe I don't want a new name at all.
Maybe I just want you to look into my eyes,
and claim me by the name I have now.

I want you to call me by the name you love most.
I pray it's my name.

For every one of your tragedies
I will write happy endings

For every one of your bad days
I will help make good ones

For every one of your break downs
I will be there to pick you up

For every skipped meal
I will treat you to comfort

For every forgotten memory
I will make new ones with you

For every forgotten line
A daisy for the courage to try

For every tear shed
A smile shared

For every scar
A star

You are gold
And I, yellow.

Let's not fight any war today
Let's not die today
Let us all live one more day
Let us steal a day from the clutches of death
Heaven can wait for one more day.

Let's enjoy one last meal with our loved ones
Enjoy our favorite movie one last time
Dance to the tune of our favorite songs
Visit the place where we have first met our soulmates.
Let us make it the best day of our lives
And finally say goodbye to one another.
Let's just live one more day.
Before death comes to take us away.