Nothing really lasts
Even a fraction of a second
can end as soon as it came

No love can last
None strong enough to endure
The madness that burrows
Itself deep within me

Unfixable
Unforgivable

I am nothing
But a mere shadow
Of existence

Seeking love
In all the
dangerous places

Nothing lasts
Not love
Not I

All that remains is
This illness
That carries me
That will always carry me

It gives me love
a feeling of being wanted 
and accepted

I guess its 
turned my brain

A never-ending 
war I never
want to forsake

Liar whispered
her soul

You feel a part of you chip away
shh, don't say a word
don't let anyone see
this is our little secret

Every time
every second
always longing
for a way out

To stop feeling
his haunting words
his sickening touch

Pressing down
her mind too corrupted
to let her breathe

Nowhere else
to turn
but inwards

Deep
and safe
inside her mind

A world of
self destructive love
Her only way out
never giving up

She comes to play with me again
tempting me
sharing secrets
that no one else can see

I fight to move on
yet I stay
embracing her comfort
I take her hand blindingly

Reminiscing
on how she never left me 
from the start
she took me in

As absurd as it seems
she makes me feel whole
loved
accepted

I fight to stay alive
I fight
hoping 
for a brighter beginning

We weren't meant to ever be together
years of wasted love and time together
only adding fuel to the flames

I've only been pushed further down
into my imaginary world I call home

Where love and kindness can't embrace me
where loneliness is my queen
and misery is my mistress

Colors of emotions
form into the ocean
so vast
dark
its depth immense

The hallow eyes
of a lost and broken child
waiting for a sign
a sliver of hope

Beckoning for a reason
to let her heart stay
while at the same time
knowing nothing will ever change
what's affected her

How the truth
can't be erased

Taking a deep shaky breath
she lets the darkness swallow her
in hopes of finding the light
that seemed so far out of reach

A vulnerable feeling
An entity lost at sea

Alone in the dark
Wishing for something
Someone to claim it as their own

To nurture it with love
To accept it as it really is-
Its true form of never ending sorrow

It affects me to my very core
And because it's a part of me
As I've accepted it to be

I know I affect those around me
Those who care for me deeply

When it and I are both stuck
Glued to our inner world of inner tragedy and loss

A time for self-reflection
To be one with it
And for it to be one with me

See it as a hurting child
Longing for unconditional love
Aching to be held in a loving embrace

And once I do
All I sense is serenity

I only need to nurture it
As I, its host,
Gives it a home to sleep in