I'm so good at this game
the what if's, costs and benefits
but maybe I should quit while I still can
pawn to e5 and I roll the dice

the what if's, costs and benefits
do I fight for you or is it a blunder? pawn to e5 and I roll the dice
I don't care who pays the price

do I fight for you or is it a blunder?
my mind and heart sink into the mud
I don't care who pays the price
my craving and vice, you must leave me

my mind and heart sink into this mud
but I will not go down further
my craving and vice you must leave me
as I will no longer fight for what I know is a dream

There is no peace in the doldrums
Sing of me as a warning, lost at sea
The people in the lighthouse are gone
The light remains on
But I'm on a boat in the dark
Apart from my family who mourns "me"
So I beg of you, erase me
But do not bury me in a quiet place
For I cannot bear to be without rain
Let nature lament over my fate even with coarse sand

I am sick of the doldrums' lies
Sweep me up in a storm and let this false peace die
Bring me to the beach for it calmed my parents
And it never fails to shush me

The moon shines on you
And you are its puppet
Perhaps there is a prospect of an appeal on my behalf?
To the light that does not burn the eyes to look at
Do not fret, I'll tell you what to say, it's very common
Do not let me rot alone forgotten

Wall of fog, wall of fog
I know you are near
I see you in my mind's eye and feel you stuck in my chest
Wall of fog, wall of fog
Let the clouds dissipate
Let the rivers do what they do
The waters penetrate
Wall of fog, wall of fog
I know you protect
The river carries intensity you would rather reject
But wall of fog, wall of fog
You must break
For my sake
Take a moment, sigh
And let out your rage and rain
Ululate and give me peace
So the water can more softly undulate
Pulse and bubble

I often wish to speak
But my words come out as ferocious as flames
I wish to be gentle and meek
Something just happens on the way out of my mouth
When i'm having a bad day I just can't control my tone
And I know I'm making excuses
I shouldn't moan and complain
But I have a grown-up problem
I blame myself for it
Because it's not in my nature to be mean
After all babies are born with a slate clean
But I guess life happened on my way
To make these words come out to others' dismay
Verbal throwup to make a disaster

The dusty piano of my feelings for you started playing again
One day, as I toiled to make art, the strings inside began to sing
I felt a craving to know what you thought
To show you what beautiful work my hands had wrought
Except the piano alone sounded distraught
It was a normal day for you, without even a thought of me
And it hurt so much that I wanted to share with you my glee
How embarassing! When I think that piano might be quiet again
But then it strikes up wanting someone who wouldn't want ME to be their friend
Stupid and silly is that piano
As it sounds so beautiful but plays at inopportune times

they look at me with ravenous eyes
yearning with hope for a pleasant surprise

but i simply have nothing to give
overwhelmed with the risk
because failure costs more than the prize of winning

i try to run ahead but with every step i sink further into the mud
of crud expectations and eager predictions of my future

i dont understand how i can be tired
my tries for success are trapped under the weight of emotional wires
of aspirations failed even though i keep trying harder and harder

to be better is to be in pain
im always chugging, working hard like a train
but i'm running out of coal
stumbling and falling, chasing after my fleeing goals

don't mind my jesting
it's just a little fun
playing with fire to keep you guessing
the dancing flames have a delightful burn

it's just a little fun
you see, i'm crying on the cold kitchen floor
the dancing flames have a delightful burn
until you're numb and bored and they can do something you can't

you see, i'm crying on the cold kitchen floor
i think it's just the afterparty's effects
until you're bored and they can do something you can't
we elect new people to look down on us

i think it's just the afterparty's effects
nothing's a big deal when you've been out all night
we elect new people to look down on us
thinking they'll be better and just maybe we'll be alright