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To march madly chanting
I’m not free
neither are you nor are we.

Freedom is the lie
woven in the cloth of our flag-
well constructed prisons-
a world of body bags.
2025
If the world falls apart tomorrow
At least I have a clean kitchen
And if the world falls apart tomorrow
At least I took the trash out
And if the world falls apart tomorrow at least I made the bed
if the world falls apart tomorrow at least I got the mail
if the world falls apart tomorrow
At least I paid my rent
if the world falls apart tomorrow
so what?
2024
I’d like the quiet now, please.
I’d like to go back where I came from.

Enjoy now:  
orange juice, blue sky, velvet leaves,  
words like "isosceles" and "Econlockhatchee",  
call to prayer, Hail Marys,  
watermelon, ******* icicles,  
words for love in other languages,  
a capybara swimming,  
a good curse like "*******",  
a living coral reef,  
soul food, soul music, a drum solo,  
soft salty butter,  
a curled fern, thunderous clouds,  
copper hair,  
a stalking tiger,  
silver fish, dancing sunbeams,  
Spanish wine, beach plum jelly,  
the smell of sulfur, crashing wave,  
skate’s eggs, pine cones,  
cold granite, sticky peanut butter,  
a clear running river, a red fox cub,  
aurora light,  
diva ballads, cactus water,  
marble carved light as silk,  
a cuckoo clock,  
blue moonlight, dew drop,  
whistling wind, lightning bug,  
dandelion tea, rose bud, scarlet blood,  
snake scales,  
the dead smell of time,  
Saturn up there,  
kittens, freckles,  
our song, a honey bee,  
the big big ocean, the hard hard rain,  
salty air,  
lost at sea,  
empty, full, drunk, alive.

Oh, to float on the cosmic waves.  
To sense the whole I am a particle of.

To fear is only this:  
An emptiness full to the brim with life.
2025. Ha. Too long-bad year. Too late.
Casey Hayward Mar 29
How are you?
Not much
How have you been?
Doing?
How are you doing?
Been?
What’s new?
I’m fine.

Let’s get together sometime.
Open invitation,
feels like forever since I saw you last.
Text me.

Gassy, bloated, clammy, smelly, chicken in teeth, sty in the eye, sweatpants stained, scrunchie, flip flop fleeing
Actual feelings.
2012
Casey Hayward Mar 29
Here’s to you friend-
You’ve come unwound,
Betrayed my trust and stomped the ground

And slammed the door
And made a scene
That it’s unfair, and I am mean

And it’s my fault
Can you not see
I’ve locked the vault
It’s you, not me.

The time is done
When i’ll give in
To your tyrannies

So there, I win.
2021
Casey Hayward Mar 29
Flashing Yellow-

The yellow lights are flashing—
caution—
a pause.

And I find myself thinking,
between floods of emotion,
where the phlegm in my chest
wants to escape as tears out my eyes.

The greatest heartbreak
is that he didn’t talk to me
on my birthday.
OK, fine—Christmas.
OK, fine—New Year’s.
But my birthday?

How many birthdays has it been
where we haven’t spoken?
Where I get no acknowledgement
for being alive?



2. The Painter-

Heartbroken,
a mess with men,
I park in front of the jazz club
with a new beau—

a young painter,
fairly talented,
fairly handsome,
who pays for everything
the whole night.

So I go back
to his small apartment
that smells like turpentine.

He takes off my clothes
and tries to have *** with me.

I say “no.”
He persists.
I say “no” again.

He backs off, asking,
“Do I get anything in return?”

I say, “no.”

He says,
“I plan on making you my girlfriend.”

I say,
“so?”
The answer is still “no.”

And I leave.



3. First Snow-

It’s past two a.m.
and snowing—
the first snow of the year.

I think about yesterday.

How I was asked
to be a **** model
for ten photographers—
a hundred dollars an hour
for two hours.

And to sign away
my rights
to every photo.

I feel more than ****.

I feel
see through.
2012 January
Casey Hayward Mar 29
I wear ****** like a fur coat. Denying the dead animal.
Accelerate. Crash.
Circles. Circular thoughts.
I have no clue *** that means. She didn't either. Ivy league *****.
3: Obsession, Hatred, Boredom. The holy trinity.
Everyone else does. iiiiiiiiiiii.
Genius? Too tired. ****'s pointless. Nothing to prove. No point in proving.
Prove it into me, yeah. What? You're insane.
You think everyone thinks that.
You can think anything. See try: They're all jealous. Doesn't make them all jealous. Take a step back. Who gives a ****. I think therefore who gives a ****.
I wear ****** like a fur coat. Denying the dead animal.
2012
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