I bite
not only with words

when I mean bite
I mean that teeth fill the night
with tears in my eyes
and the pain fills the head


cause I said:

if you want to dream this high
then there needs to be perfection
without any exception

I feel with pain

but the truth is that
I don't know how to stop
cause I do it at all cost
and it all started when I was lost

sitting on my bed
fighting in my head
my hands in my hair
and breathing all the air
my eyes from left to right
never thought that I'd be right

I do bite

and fingers once unharmed
have now scars so deep

they say freedom is to be as free as a bird

independent and strong
not in a cave

they give me 'freedom'
but not how I say

they push me till I am right at the edge
say I need to jump
but I’m not ready to fledge

I know that’s how it works
I’ve seen it multiple times
you jump and you fly
                yeah I do believe that lie

but we are missing one point
my wings aren’t fully grown
now I’m standing on my own
cause I need to do it all alone

so I turn my back and ask

if they could do it one more time
cause I know they can

now I am

just standing on the ground
looking at the birds in the sky
admiring them knowing someday I will try

as a kid we can't wait to grow up
we want to explore the world
cause nobody wants to explain with words

afraid to crash you down

so I got to be strong
cause I can't wait this long
I figured it out myself
and found the darkest place
and now need space
cause I’m falling in this phase people call it "youth"

Almost there

now I’m past halfway
3 years holding me back
and every day feels like a trap

A hero and a spirit of death
both hunters looking for their path

on the first look they don't make any change
both looking to prove themselves
but there's only one way
to take the others life away

one with a mission, without any discussions
and one with glory and fame
kleos we name

but what if there was a world without the pressure
a golden treasure
where everything is different…

maybe the myth didn't mean to end his life
but just about opening his eyes

they could be friends without an end

today I searched for a knife
not to **** anyone in the bright of the night

no I didn’t mean
I only thought about hurting the one who is speaking now

me and myself

I don't know why
wait that's incorrect
I DO know why
but it’s all stupid in the back of the end

let me say that
I was hypnotized
by my own thoughts
searching for a knife
even more hypnotized was I
when I couldn't find it
I almost asked my mom where it hid

cause I was pretty sure I left it on my shelf
looked in all my backpacks
in my coat and even on my night table

searching for a knife

now looking at the time
so much fades away
suddenly realizing what happened anyway

I was searching for a knife

A KNIFE

I can't

looked around
saw the mess
back to the present
with eyes full of innocence

searching for a knife
but still knowing I could bite

I bet my past self hid it somewhere
cause I always leave things behind
thinking I could find

now I’m looking with the eyes of past me
when I was five
asking what I'm doing

all I say to past me five is
survive

and there the feeling is back
me worrying about future me when I'm twenty four
cause I am pretty sure
if those thoughts say the same
this will be no fair game

searching for a knife