When they talk
It’s an inside joke
“You wouldn’t understand”
They say while they giggle together
When you ask to hang out
There’s an excuse
“Sorry I’m busy”
They say while you watch them together
When they talk about a group chat
But you aren’t on it
“We must have forgotten”
They say while they keep texting each other
When they bring up memories
But you weren’t a part of them
“You must have been sick”
They say while they plan to hang out again without you
When they forget your birthday
But they’ve planned presents for each other’s
“I’ll bring your present tomorrow”
They say while they haven’t thought once about it
You are forgotten
You are left out
You are always the second choice-
death by a thousand dismissals

I cover my tears
Masks made of too bright smiles
My eyes hold tears of sadness,
Though they see them as tears of joy
I drown my thoughts with lyrics
When they become to much to bear
I talk too freely,
laugh too loud,
Just to cover up the silence
The darkness clouds my brain,
My thoughts,
my feelings
I hide my pain with my humor,
But the jokes feel empty when I’m alone
The silence screams louder than I ever could
And I can’t say it out loud
I know they would laugh it off
Or tell me:
“That’s not you”

I hate when people tell me
I talk too much.
I send too many text
And they can’t keep up.

At first they like it
Because it feels nice.
I help distract them
From their life.
But then it becomes old
And I get in the way.
Just another day
And I have too much
To say.

Many don't know the moral of Vincent Van Gogh.
We as artists don't mind the pain,
Of cutting off an ear.
We only notice how it hurts,
When our gift is rejected.

There's all to win,
When giving your all,
Yet when giving your all,
There's a great chance you fall.
Pride wasn't made a sin, of itself.
It was deemed evil,
When we witnessed the destruction,
From a broken sense of pride.

We give as much as we can,
I do as much as I can,
A perfect person.
After preaching against it I know she was right,
I am only a hypocrite,
Still searching for that perfection,
Has left me to become only a suggestion.