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1.1k · Apr 2014
Cigarette smoke
Smoke rises from my blood red lips
My eyes narrow through the haze
A smile plays on my face
And remembrances race through my mind
You, always hated the smell
The rotten smell of dried leaves
The smell that clung to everything
And everyone.
I stub the cigarette out in a cut glass ashtray
Your mother's if I recall
A smile dances and reaches my eyes
My cold blue eyes
Eyes that could express emotion once.
They travel downwards to the floor
They light up once more
Like the eyes of the girl gone before
For there you are, prone, a blood red bloom
Blossoming, in a cigarette smoke filled room.
© JLB
1.1k · Jun 2014
Caul
Draped like a long forgotten shawl
my dreams lie in my mind, covered with a caul.
No second sight was afforded my disillusionment,
my deluded, discarded dreams.
Brittle decaying hope.
Tattered remnants of youthful vigour cling vine like
to my mind. Was I ever that happy?
Or is that an illusion also.
Born of the caul, as a charm to be deemed unable to drown,
so, that's why I failed.
I watch my past on fast forward, skipping to the present.
Strange word present, meaning: the here and now, or a gift.
My dreams are nightmares, my present is no gift.
My nightmares are the gifts of my present
© JLB
18/06/2014
1.0k · Oct 2014
A dinner of herbs
Deathlike is our love.
Tired, expired, stagnant and numb.
I'm through playing dumb, treated like hired help.
When we met my pulse it fired, now like death it has expired.
We lie in bed side by side like corpses in a morgue,
inanimate, undesired, tired.

I'm sorry if this hurts but love it can expire, lose its fire and it's flame.
I wish that I could say we're both to blame, but you my love you sired elsewhere, and expected me to understand that you were desired by another and now I'm expected to play the role of second mother to a child,
innocent though he is of his father's shared night of tireless passion with another!

And so it fell to me to prepare this fine repast, forget about the past,
look toward the food cupboard and make a dinner of herbs.
A pinch of hemlock, a touch of aconite, a soupçon of strychnine and a
drop of arsenic. All prepared by mine own fair hand, it's bitterness shone in my tears, as you praised my cooking and my fidelity to you, begged my forgiveness and took me to bed.

Now, cold you lie.
Forgiveness I could give, it was the forgetting that did both you and me in. Like Romeo to his Juliet, a moth to a flame, a drop of wolfs bane,
your Belladonna has had her final fling
Better is a dinner of herbs where love is, than a stalled ox and hatred therewith.
Proverbs 15:17
© JLB
08/10/2014
15:12 BST
1.0k · Oct 2016
Whiskers round the light
On a cold night look up at the street lights
Its reassuring glow dancing off the snow
Look at how the light so bright delights
The watchers down below.

But can you see the light as it shivers?
The light dancing in the winter cold
Crystal shards of ice, blue and white
Dance like whiskers round the light.
Copyright © JLB
03/10/2016
01:27 BST
1.0k · Jun 2014
Hidden In The Shadows
Constantly craving the night with
it's darkness, and it's shadows.
The ability to steal away into the umbra
to be forgotten.
In the world of darkness secrets hide
is anybody home?
Does anyone see my shadow?
It cries for attention yet obscurity
is its salvation.
To be seen, is to be known.
I am not known, I am hidden in nightmares.
Blackness cloaks who and what I am.
Do you want to know who I am?
Yes?
I am the wickedness in your soul.
© JLB
07/06/2014
1.0k · Jun 2014
Velvet gloved argument
We fight delicately, sniping, taking and giving verbal punches.
Our skin doesn't bruise, maybe our egos our minds,
but our bodies no.
Our velvet arguing is seamless, flawless.
Anyone listening would hear witty repartee.
A couple playfully bantering, no more.
Polite meritorious armament of words.
Primed to fire a salvo of cruelty.
Cruelty, covered and handled with crushed velvet gloves.
Textured, cultured, arguing.
Polite parrying, pleasant resentment.
A bottle of wine, remnants of a meal, wounds needing to heal.
Less or more cruel than a punch? This seamless linguistic pain.
Bruises fade, pain subsides, mental cruelty resides.
© JLB
17/06/2014
1.0k · Apr 2014
Valiant Valium
Do you see them?
They see you.
Do you hear them?
They hear you.

Yes, you see them
Out of the corner of your eye
Yes, you hear them
During the silence of a ticking clock.

You'd rather not see or hear them
You'd rather they sleep a quiet slumber
You'd rather they didn't talk to you
You'd rather the professionals were right, you're mad

But, you and they know otherwise
They are only seen and heard by you
To others they elicit that "someone's just walked over my grave feeling
Like children at play their cruelty knows no bounds.
© JLB
1.0k · Apr 2014
Love
Everyone has the right to love
To be loved, and return that love
But, love can sleight and bite
It can destroy and toy
with affections.
Love can be seen as a parasite
squirming and worming
inside your heart.
Yet love has lied, and died
a thousand times before
no one closes the door on love.
Love excites ignites and
copyrights by candlelight
it's insidious need to feed.
It expedites appetites
It recites to you words wanted,
needed to be heard
Love leaves you flushed,contrite,
full of spite
Yet ready to ignite and incite
the next entwined pair of parasites.
© JLB
1.0k · Jul 2014
Itch
I have an itch.
It needs soothing.
I can't scratch it, I won't stop.
I'll scratch until the crimson petals appear.
Watch the vermillion bloom against the white.
Then pick and scratch some more.
Feel relief as I watch the red run in rivulets down into a deep pool.
Hitching myself to an already aching itch was a mistake.
A mistake and itch scratched away with a meat fork*.
© JLB
04/07/2014
1.0k · May 2014
Fracture
Splintered memories of you
fracture into cracks of scattered longing.
Nothing will repair the broken view
a skewed by time.
Nothing returns to perfection.
The way you smiled, your brown eyes
the way your hair fell
flopped in your eyes.
Eyes that, if they saw me
they lied and shied away.
© JLB
991 · Jun 2014
Watching Time
Watching the day pass
Waiting for the night to come
Wanting the anonymity of dark
Wishing that the day wasn't so bright

No place to hide in the light
Sparkling sun reveals all
Reveals truth and lies
Stargazing is what I want, what I need

Watching the people of the day
Going about their daytime duties
Leaves me cold. They're just consumer cattle.
At night the watching differs.

Night watching is quiet
Night people are quiet
Night duties are quiet
Night is peace, night is my quietude.

Lie back, look up, see the stars all burnt out.
Degenerate matter. They are dead.
What we see in the night sky is death.
Bright death.
© JLB
19/06/2014
Today is grey.
Today is cold.
Today is getting old,
soon it will be tomorrow,
but tomorrow never comes.

Tomorrow will be the same.
Tomorrow will be today.
Tomorrow the date only will change,
I'll charge my glass to the coming morrow
Same day same sorrow

Staring through the bottom of a glass
tomorrow is far away.
Tomorrow is not grey, but a whiskey gold
staring at tomorrow through the bottom of a glass
tomorrow is not old, just another day.
© JLB
27/11/2014
11:58 GMT
989 · May 2014
Husband
Pretty in pink, I'd like to think I can write
you a ballad but all that comes is a pallid
canvas of colourless words.
I fail to bring the vibrancy in my heart
to life, descriptions of you, of your love.
Damaged, though I am, I know that you
and you alone love me.
In a way that no sibling, parent or other knows.
Yet,
acid drips from my lips aimed like an arrow
to your heart.
Fastened together by something more than
Love, why do we fight with such spite?
What sorcery binds us?
I love you, but that makes you mine
to ****.
Men may **** the things they do not love
but we women **** what we love the most.
© JLB
Do all men **** the things they do not love?
Shakespeare's The Merchant of Venice, Bassanio.
973 · Jul 2014
Together (10W)
Insufferable comfort
Ungovernable love
Vulnerable heart
Unutterable desire
Unspoken need.
© JLB
16/07/2014
972 · Jan 2015
Silken lies
As I look toward the ceiling I get a funny feeling
one that itches like a *****.
Do you love me? I wonder
Do you stay because leaving would tear your soul asunder?
Lying here on the bed, wishing I were asleep,
I remember how my heart would skip a beat on seeing you
Now, I turn and see you there, hair crumpled, eyes closed
and realise that it's not you I need to question, but all my
Silken lies. Starting with I do.
© JLB
15/01/2015
02:05 GMT
971 · Apr 2014
Transgression
My depression is a transgression
against me, and mine.
I never asked to be contaminated
with this strife.

My depression is a possession
of evil, of illness.
I never thought I would be
rife with highs and lows.

My depression is a progression
of good and bad thoughts.
I never wanted to be
violated with cries and lies.

My depression is a weapon
against all who suffer its woes.
I hope the afterlife takes this repression
and nullifies it's effects.

My depression is mine but
suffered by many. We are pulverised,
neutralised and modified by our own
minds and medicated to keep sated.

My depression is Legion
a wickedness to the self.
A circle unending, unbending,
curving toward suppression of oneself.
© JLB
967 · Apr 2015
Luna
Cold air swirls and clings to my naked form
arms outstretched I feel the icy grip of peace.
Divested and devoid of all personal items I walk to the edge
Naked as a new born under a baleful moon I am reborn.
This new birth will not last, it's a temporary relief.
Clad only in my skin the cold scrolls over my body
I feel its grip, its participation in this my final act.
The wind now howls, as if it too wants a role in this my curtain call.
Whipping at the frosty air these elements almost make me stay.
Toes poised on the cliffs edge, head thrown back, eyes closed,
face upturned towards the moon's celestial il luminance
Ill light indeed, for it allows me to see my path in the dark.
That path is a spiral into the water below
© JLB
28/04/2015
18:51 BST


The Moon has a long association with insanity and irrationality; the words lunacy and lunatic (popular shortening loony) are derived from the Latin name for the Moon, Luna. Philosophers Aristotle and Pliny the Elder argued that the full moon induced insanity in susceptible individuals, believing that the brain, which is mostly water, must be affected by the Moon and its power over the tides, but the Moon's gravity is too slight to affect any single person. Even today, people insist that admissions to psychiatric hospitals, traffic accidents, murders or suicides increase during a full moon, although there is no scientific evidence to support such claims.
967 · Dec 2014
Christmas: A countdown
T'is that time of year when everybody spends,
pretends to the world that peace is reigning,
winning, lying, buying, crying.

See the mother crying at night deep in the dark,
her heart aching, breaking that love is not enough.
Love cannot be placed under a tree.

Credit wins, common sense loses.
For what? tinsel and a turkey?
Baubles and gifts exchanged in the sales.

Garish lights, plastic trees,
fights in the aisles for the must have items
Belief, understanding all transferred to the neon God.

Advent calendars lie. Instead of chocolate or a gift,
let's open that cardboard door and see the rift
this season brings.

On the 1st day of Christmas a bailiff came to me
repossessed last years gifts and left
the plastic tree.

Little donkey, little donkey
little cheer, little joy,
little donkey can kiss my ***.

Jingle bells, jingle bells
jingle all the way......to depression
oh what fun it is have with discount *****

Poor vs Rich, Belief against Belief
the homeless, the food-banks, suicide
hunger, fear, nothing a man in a beard can save.
© JLB
17//12/2014
11:06 GMT
965 · Apr 2014
Haunted Ghosts
Haunted ghosts host our waking hours
during sleep they transport us to places
indescribable by human words.

The ghosts lean on door posts
watching us, remembering their corporeal selves
Wanting to be warm blooded again.

Orchid scented air announce their presence
Morbid thoughts clog our senses
Do we remember them?

Do we want to remember them?
They are dead, long departed
Long deported off this realm.

Halted thoughts gloat at our minds
How those haunted ghosts once chortled,
fondled, and dawdled along.

Long dead; these ghosts are haunted
Not by us the living,
but the memories of them we bring.
© JLB
963 · Apr 2014
Fuse
A short fuse
Fused together
Together forever
Forever sniping
Sniping, snipping
Snipping an already short fuse.
© JLB
963 · Apr 2014
Wax Wife
I am a wax wife
a parallax
a displacement of his
true love.
My position of wife
is viewed from
two lines of sight,
his and mine.
Our views are skewed
yet we remain
the same.
I'd like to relax in
His arms
as a flesh and bone
solid woman.
But, knowing you're
one of the ranks
rankles, causes
jealousy and hate
makes me want
to plant
an axe
in his head.
Time to smooth the
cracks in the wax.
© JLB
There's a promise brought on the wind
A whisper that speeds to a shout
50 days of sand walls heralding spring
The promise of new beginnings
First as payment for this new birth, Mother Earth
Blows grains of sand into the eyes of humankind
Suffocating and choking all in the barren land
Spring is heralded by a claustrophobic cyclonic dust storm
A new beginning, fresh and clean
Above the howling rising sandstorm, spring is sprung.
Khamsin is a hot southerly wind, varying from southeast to southwest, that blows regularly in Egypt and over the Red Sea for about 50 days, commencing about the middle of March.
Copyright © JLB
31/03/2017
00:45GMT
945 · Apr 2014
Wiping the slate clean.
Sedated and initiated my feelings have been
evaluated, and been found wanting.
Frayed dreams lie unravelling in the
decayed recesses of my mind.
Laid bare they seem displaced
and out of place with reality.

Concentrate, I tell myself,
eradicate, confiscate those decayed dreams
wipe the slate clean, chalk it all up to life
and it's experiences.
Better to take the bitter pill called reality
than eat the decay of a pretend life.

Wipe the slate clean, be born anew
culminate in a straight jacket, be the bait
for fate to step in and renew you.
Liberate, agitate, evaluate, educate yourself.
Don't give in. Don't give up, life is for living
good or bad, wipe the slate clean.
© JLB
945 · May 2014
Evil whispers
She walks down the corridor
back straight, immaculate.
Heels tapping a regular rhythm
heart beating a tattoo of nerves.

nerves

She can hear the wishers of spite
whispering, sneering, delivering splinters
of withering, scathing remarks at her back
behind masks of smiles and false friendship.

friendship

She hasn't been aboard a ship of friends
in quite a while.
Transistors in her head have picked up the
whispers, the predictors have spoken.

spoken

"She only got the promotion on her back"
"Like she has the qualities for the role"
"Well she does have qualities for a roll!"
"She does like rolling on her back!"

back

Back home, she sits at the mirror in her room
shivers whilst remembering the sniggers and
whispers. The slingers of whispers and dirt
have hurt too deep this time.

time

Time has passed, and the only dirt thrown
Is the handful by her sister, on top of the box
her sibling lies in, lies in because of lies.
She espies the work colleagues, watching and grins.

grins

Grins because it's not often you see the twin
of a suicide victim.
The victim of evil whispers, furthermore
she starts work in a week, with these weak whisperers.

**Killers
© JLB
941 · Nov 2014
No host of golden Daffodils
No host of golden daffodils do I see when I look around me.
Just the debris of a life, cut short by a knife.
I wandered lonely not over vale, but over my body
Lying prone on the floor, no breath does it host anymore.
My eyes gaze sightless into the distance,
a sphinx upon the waste land of the laminated floor.
My hair limp, not fluttering in the breeze, my blood cooling into a pool
my death scene, gives such chills, that renders even golden daffodils pale
Death does indeed ride a pale horse.
He shows no remorse.
Wilted in a vase, wasted on the floor, I await my light, my open door.
And then my heart with pleasure fills,
          And dances with the daffodils.
                                                              Wordsworth

© JLB
04/11/2014
01:16 GMT
940 · Oct 2014
Going out
I have to
go out.
I want to
stay in.
Alone.
Please leave me
to myself.
The effort of
Conforming to
a Saturday night
will **** me.
I don't care if
you'll have a spare
ticket.
Leave me alone.
I hate getting ready
I hate being friendly
I hate crowds
I hate noise.
Silence.
I loathe Saturday.
I love my insanity.
© JLB
11/10/2014
13:53 BST
937 · Oct 2014
Knock-Knock
"Trick or Treat"
Clamorous voices demand at the door.
A cry that you've heard so many times before.
You open the door face plastered with a grin.
Wishing you could cull this rabble and stop
their screeching babble.
Sweets doled out,  "be safe" you shout at their backs,
after all you wouldn't want to be hacked by a ******!

Knock-Knock**
Its sound echoes all around.
You hate these midgets at your door
looking cute and asking "give us more"
You'd love to keep the door closed,
but well then you're known as the weird house.
So adjusting face and keeping pace you open the door,
only to be heard of no more.
© JLB
31/10/2014
13:16 BST
934 · Sep 2014
When the love is gone
When the love is gone,
you feel all alone.
The spread of cold through your veins,
where once before a fire flamed and raged.
Numbs your soul and douses the fire.
You sit reflecting on what once was,
only to realise that love goes on.
On to higher ground.
On to higher realms.
On to greater things.
© JLB
26/09/2014
09:58 BST
934 · Aug 2015
Dad.
There are no goodbyes.
Just a long exhalation, then a sigh.
A sigh of peace, a sigh of grief.
A sigh of guilty relief.
Relief that you let go.
Relief that you went gently into the night.

Selfish is death as it steals your breath,
and takes ours away in grief.
But memory is kind it rose colours our mind,
and allows us to be left behind.

You'll always be our best memory
You'll always be at your best
You'll always be at rest,
and we left behind will always be bereft.

But there are no "good"byes
Just tears to cry
A life to dignify
And the question Why?

I never said goodbye dad, always "see you later".
Goodbye is too final, and love never dies.
There isn't a full stop, and the clocks still tick then tock.
While we children still breathe, half of you never leaves.
Good or bad, perfect or flawed, you are always our dad.
My father is dying and I'm waiting for the inevitable call to come.

Copyright © JLB
17/08/2015
02:34 BST
931 · Oct 2014
Time
Like a flowing river
time flows over you and me.
As water erodes and smoothes,
time wrinkles and renders all aged.
Time, that fourth dimension,
rendering all to be measured by its flow.
The past, the present, the future.
The hourglass that perfect object,
the one item that allows us to see time passing.
Flowing from the future into now rendering the past.
Do we see this in watching a clock?
No, we see hands or digits ticking forward, there is never
the three stages of time to a clock, watch or sundial.
But, an hourglass? Time is there, not there and yet to come.
Would you like to know your time of death?
We get to know our time of birth/existence, but death?
That scythe wielding workaholic, do you want to know when he's due?
Like a train on a platform, would all those with tickets marked
-:-:---- please make their way to platform two and form an orderly queue?
© JLB
16/10/2014
15:03 BST
931 · Apr 2014
Particle
A minute portion, an iota of matter
That actually doesn't matter at all.
It just about sums  up the motes of life.
Our fragment of life may touch one,
May touch many, but in the end we're all
Small grains of a larger whole.

The sands of time, the granules of the host at Eucharist.
The scientific nucleus
How dichotomous
Religious and scientific particles
Floating in either a Petrie dish or religious fervour
We are particular particles forever searching
Searching for us, for truth and our beginning.
© JLB
930 · May 2014
Tribe. (10W)
Dynastic lineage
              Of
  *Kindred people

               *Our

   Family tree
               humanity  
Genealogy.
© JLB
We must learn to live together as brothers or perish together as fools.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
929 · Oct 2014
Crucify me
Let me clarify, I'm not here to prettify life.
Amplify your ego or nullify your beliefs.
I'm here for me.
Dignify for me your response without a lie.
Can you? No?
Then in my best of Anglo Saxon do me the favour of
"******* the *******".
Inspired by The Ballad of John And Yoko.
© JLB
02/10/2014
17:38 BST
927 · Jun 2014
Recipe for living
Take a spoonful of hate
a dusting of jealousy
a cup of bile
and stir.

Set on a high heat
add a family member or two,
cook until tender.
Serve with respect.

Life isn't about sugar and spice
and all things nice, it's about balance.
Balancing the good with the bad.
Love with hate.

Kindness and anger, all
basic human emotions.
Poverty and riches.
Jealousy and forgiveness.

All of us alive, need to remember,
remember, what came before,
and ask one simple question;
"What am I living for?"
© JLB
28/06/2014
927 · May 2014
Musings on a sunny day.
Snoozing quietly on a sunny day,
with eyes half closed, breathing relaxed,
listening to the sounds the sun brings out.
Children screaming with play, lawn mowers cutting,
bees buzzing and singing birds.

Languidly lost in time bemused at the thoughts
running free in my mind. I start to muse on
ridiculous things:
Why liquid soap?
Why a date of birth but no date of death? (That would be helpful like a use by date on food, fit in that bucket list or miss your deadline)

Why do ice lollies only come in packs of three like condoms?
Why are children so ultimately free?
Why does the sun make us feel so safe?
Why does road rage come out in the sun?
Why do we insist on eating burnt carcasses and underdone chicken?
At barbecues that take forever to organise with people you'd rather flail alive?
© JLB
Deep in thought; contemplative.

Contemplation; meditation. A product of contemplation; a thought. "an elegant tapestry of quotations, musings, aphorisms, and autobiographical reflections" (James Atlas).
926 · May 2014
Jolly Rhyme
I thought I'd pen a jolly rhyme
But, then I ran out of time.
Then I thought I'd be sublime
But, then I went all pantomime.
Then I thought I'd commit a crime
But, got put off by the splatter and slime.
Then I thought its supper time
And drank a bottle of turpentine.
Didn't I say I ran out of time, for a jolly rhyme?
© JLB
922 · May 2014
Goddess(10w)
Monstrous earth goddess
Product of darkness
Harnesses gardens
Markets madness.
© JLB
922 · Aug 2014
Maggots (10W)
Death
is
the
home
of
maggots.
I
am
its
carrion.
© JLB
10/08/2014
23:49 BST
921 · Jun 2014
Twilight lovers
Hush, listen, soft breath is needed,
quiet now or we'll disturb them.
The lovers entwined in lazy armed need.
Twilight has crept silently into the room,
soft pale blue light suffuses the couple,
whose love act dapples the sweet light,
and bends the shadows seductively.
Evening twilight ends and night begins.
The French expression l'heure bleu has passed.
The lovers oblivious to the blue hour
lie together in sated desire.
Come now, let us leave the serene sapphic scene.
The night awaits, and many a couple lie
procrastinating, whilst Aphrodite, Eros and us,
the watchers, dust them with desire
© JLB
14/06/2014
919 · Aug 2014
Touching Silence
Each night I watch the world wind down,
traffic quietens then falls still.
People, ready for bed slow down and amble away.
To sleep, hopefully dream.
Birds stop singing, sirens stop ringing,
night's peace pervades, and stillness takes hold.
The earth is holding her breath and tongue.
Clutching the silence is akin to touching God.
Calming, reassuring, meditative and childlike.
Lightness of the soul takes hold,
like flight you want to soar up, up and up
until crystalline clarity within the silence shows you truth.
The truth is that the silence is deafening,
we humans need sound in order to drown out any form of truth
© JLB
18/08/2014
01:13 BST
915 · Jan 2015
life fruit
Lemons and lies
Make sour lives
Strawberries and cream
Make life a scream
So does a blade when I catch you lying.
© JLB
12/01/2015
23:11 GMT
913 · May 2014
Mote
The tiniest piece of dust
that's us
No more than an iota
"until heaven and earth pass away, not an iota, not a dot, will pass from the Law" (Mt 5:18)
Our hopes and dreams become anecdotes.
Glittering, sparkling silver particles
dancing freely with an abandonment
not seen since childhood.
Time elopes freely, either quickly or slowly.
Dependant on our experience with it.
Is there substance to time?
Are we it's substance ?
Us, the spots, flecks, mites and motes of humanity?

Time erodes what once was
Law, pain, pleasure, life
We remember items long turned to dust
A scintilla of us remain along with our one
grain of thought, lest we forget, we are just
sparkling dust floating around waiting to land
to be turned into the sands of time.
Shoals of grandiose people
ignoring the sermon on the mount
The mote and the Beam.
We see others but not ourselves
We see dust but do not clean it
We see sunlit motes dancing
But we do not dance for after all
For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.
—Matthew 7:1-5 KJV
© JLB
909 · Jul 2014
Locked
I was shocked when I heard the key lock.
My heart dropped,
I was left to rot.
Forgot, mocked, and blocked from outside.
No where to run, no one to turn to.
The key had turned, my fate was sealed.
Robbed of life yet still alive,
pleading silently, "please let me out"
Would they treat my plea with dignity?
I couldn't shout, would they hear me?
Not above the hiss of the respirator, of that I have no doubt.
For some reason I started thinking of "Locked in syndrome", this was the result.
© JLB
07/07/2014
908 · Apr 2014
Miss, Mrs, MS
Maybe today I can smile even
Under the grey sky
Lit only by a weak sun
Take time to read not to run
Inhale the spring air
Plan a pain free day! plait my hair
Lounge without lethargy
Excite my day by not falling or bawling!

Soak in a bath filled with rose oil
Chop and cook for a meal
Love without the twin of hate
Endevour to finish Ayn Rand
Relay all my feelings in this one day
Only be happy!
Sit without numbness, or nuisance
Instill positive thinking, leave Eeyore behind
S**ay thank you to the day that made me feel human.
For me, and fellow survivors of MS.
© JLB
906 · Apr 2015
Voyeur(10W)
Would you like to be a fly on my wall?
voy·eur  (voi-yûr′)
n.
1. A person who derives ****** gratification from observing the naked bodies or ****** acts of others, especially from a secret vantage point.
2. An enthusiastic observer of sordid or sensational subjects.
[French, from Old French, one who lies in wait, from voir, to see, from Latin vidēre, to see; see weid- in Indo-European roots.]
Copyright © JLB
29/04/2015
01:33 BST
904 · Jun 2014
For my heart, that mourns.
How do you un-love someone?
How do you forget the way they walked, laughed and cried?
How do you turn off the ache in your heart at their memory?
How do you walk away, knowing that they never felt for you?

Do you repeat daily a ritual of pretence?
Do you cry at the beauty you've lost?
Do you call yourself a fool?
Do you look in the mirror and ask why?

Why did you not love me?
Why did I not get seen?
Why did you just want to be friends?
Why does it hurt? Still? Time is supposed to heal.
© JLB
22/06/2014
903 · Feb 2016
Eternal
Deep down in the depths of my ****** veneer,
I hear my name.

Do I answer or just stay here nestled in the vapour of Lethe?
Oblivion has merits, concealment of self in still water.

Aimlessly, carelessly swirling in drowsy drug fuelled forgetfulness.
Before we die we drink this water and pass on unhindered.

Ties are undone, people and places, completely erased
to be reincarnated, entering flesh again.

My name again is called, and with this sound comes memories.
I want to stay on the shore of Lethe. But, no.

Selfishness pulls me back to sight and sound
I am dead amongst the living.
Copyright © JLB
05/02/2016
03:08 GMT

In Phaedo, Plato makes his teacher Socrates, prior to his death, state: "I am confident that there truly is such a thing as living again, and that the living spring from the dead."
903 · Apr 2014
Pink
"It's a girl" they said
Ooooooh think of all the pink things
Like booties and bows
Dolls, and toys that aren't for boys

"Sweet sixteen, and never been kissed"
Blow the candles out love
Your mother spent hours baking
Your mother spent hours labouring

"She's a woman now!" They cried at her 18th
"We'd better watch them boys!"
But what about the girls?
Why aren't you watching them?

Is it because those girls are at the kitchen sink ?
Awaiting a boy's wink of approval?
Through buttermilk sweetness these
Pink girls think.

You men are ******
Full of tricks
That send half these girls to a shrink
But it's time to have a rethink

We fair maidens view you
Through basilisk eyes
We fairer *** are
Crueller than you

It's time to drop kick the pink
Permanently into the kitchen sink
And slink behind you
With a candlestick

After all I'm just a pink girl
Who would believe that the
Pink mess on my dress
Is your brain?
© JLB
897 · Jul 2014
Family visit
Every Sunday without fail,
my father would set about getting us on the
family visiting trail.
A picnic was packed, along with our macs,
(Just in case of the rain) and into the car
we were packed.
A beautiful drive through winding roads,
over a bridge that made your tummy lurch,
onwards, to the Pen-y-Fal psychiatric hospital.

The Tudor Gothic style hospital loomed large to a
child in a car. Like a silent waiting beast from afar.
A Charming gathering of gables and chimneys,
disguised the interior of quite simply "the madhouse".
Set in grounds of 75 acres, patients played bowls, cricket,
and croquet. I thought the people and the grounds magical.
There was this secret place with adult children,
smiling, and talking to the trees, knowing of fairies,
I never heard their pleas.

As I grew older, I grew bolder, the same Sunday jaunt,
to our familial haunt, but now I was an explorer.
I was allowed in. In to the centre of the Gothic beast.
Green tiled, with brown heavy doors, antiseptic smell
that clung to every pore and cell of you. Stark walls,
scrubbed nurses, white coated Doctors and thuggish orderlies.
And after your eyes took in those sights, your nose that smell,
the noise crashed into you. Moans, cries, wails and pleas.
The sound of a thousand lost minds.

My aunt was one of the lost.
She never went home again.
She never visited her children.
She never visited her eleven siblings.
She stayed, stayed with her friend Pearl.
Who once told me I had Vivienne Leigh eyes.
She stayed with the randy Italian, the piano player,
the Downs people given to that 'hospital', that smell, that Hell.
She was in the belly of the beast.*

The Grade II Listed Building has been converted into luxury accommodation now, but would you sleep there?
© JLB
25/07/2014
1851-1996
12 initial wards
210 initial inmates
1881-83 an epileptic ward was built
Between 1851 and 1950 over 3,000 patients died at the hospital.
Pen-y-Fal Hospital it held up to 1,170 patients at its peak.
892 · May 2014
Family lies, family cries
Fallacy, a deceptive, misleading, notion, of 2.4 kids and parents
Atrophy of the idea Family
Majestic man and wife, mother and father together
Infallible,infinite,until divorce
Liberal, loving, lying, until divorce
Yearning for truth in a world of lies

Theatrically monopolised by ad execs the concept of family
Inception of children, duty done
Eternally bound by DNA if not love
S**iblings, searching for a childhood that doesn't exist
© JLB
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