I'd been gaining weight
and losing money.
Between the *****
and the stromboli,
I was getting fat.

Fat and poor.

But in a strike of sudden genius
an idea lit up the dim light bulb
hanging over my head.

I realized the solution lied
right in front of me the whole
******* time.

My tolerance for ***** is high,
and my food consumption
wasn't helping.

So I was buying more and more
beers and shots and bottles and cases
to try and get a buzz after dinner.

So I stopped eating dinner.

It saves me money on food,
and my god I can finally get drunk again!

My wallet is happy,
my mind is quiet,
I'm skinny as ****, and
breakfast has never tasted so good.