loving you
was like having heart burn
on the wrong side of my chest
and doing my best to pretend
that still I felt nothing
in all of the places where
you once touched me

neck
collarbone
the backside of my knees

you destroyed me from the inside out
with such delicacy
that at times
I convinced myself it wasn't even
happening

loving you was a disease
that I wish
I could remember having

but now
I simply
feel
nothing

You think I wanted to change you but all i ever did was accept you just the way you are. I accepted the good and bad and i loved every part of you but that wasn’t enough.
You think I wanted better, but you were always what I wanted, nothing more nothing less. I simply just wanted all of you, every piece.
You think I never fought for us but I did, I stayed when you needed me most because to me you were worth it but you never took the time to fight for me, for us.
You think I never loved you the way you loved me and you're right, I loved you even more.
You think I tried to control you but I always gave you the freedom to make your own choices and you kept making the wrong ones but I loved you anyway.

~Sigh,
You make me sigh,
This is why I left,
The reason I cry.
The reason of my pain.
You just don't get it?
One day, I hope you'll see,
We never shared love.
We shared a friendship.
I ran to the first boy I saw.
I was left empty.
Starrydawn was right,
I'm sorry if this poem hurts,
So I'll leave it at goodnight.

(A List Of Apologies To My Parents)
I am sorry for throwing up in the sink today
I am sorry that I find it hard to talk
I am sorry for the chills that penetrate my body off and on
I am sorry for whimpering and rasping my complaints
I am sorry that I sniffle every minute
Or blow my nose with ****** tissues rapidly
I am so sorry for feeling hot and cold both
I am sorry that you can sense my misery
I am so sorry that I find it difficult to eat or drink
Due to a sore throat and even nausea at times
I am sorry for feeling ready to give up any second
I am so sorry for everything
That I have done wrong during
My miserable bout of influenza

*~Marian~

Divine and merciful,
this failing,
the imperfection of the mind
that allows us to forget.

Unbound by the weight
of yesterday,
I step lightly
and pretend:

Today
I am new.
I am whole.