Giggles
Chuckles
Laughter
Birds
The mocking birds
The birds I don't quite get
Everywhere they go
They mock another bird
Like it's another average day
Or another standard Tuesday

What did those birds do to you?
When do you not be a nuisance?
Why do YOU have rights?

I can't breathe anymore
The people I trust the most
Keeps choking me
Pushing my throat back
To the point where I have a small hole
To even breathe in

I'm stressed
The thought of me not breathing
Sends me into a shivering
Frenzy
I can't break away
Attached by a rope
Wrapped around my neck
While
choking

The spotlight that I stood in
It helped me remember
That people do cherish me
People love me
People appreciate me
People adore me

People may think it's child exploitation
People may think it's child abuse
Just for me
To be the main figure in the shining bright light
Allowing people to watch me sway around the stage
Allowing people to hear my voice
Allowing people to see my creativity
But all it seems to be
Is for me
To get a more attention
To not be ignored
For people to come together to support me
I felt like I was getting lifted
It was dangerous for how high up I was
I felt amazing
My self-esteem was boosting
I felt better about myself
Because all I do
Is doubt myself
To the point where I might commit suicide

I've been isolated
By myself because
I knew that I was horrible
I know I still am
Look how I write
It's terrible
I'm aware
Yet, that small amount of approval is everything
That made me love everything
It brought the fire to my dull flame
Relieving me of my own darkness

I'm glad I had my fifteen seconds of fame
It made me feel better
But now I'm back at square one
I can feel the water spraying my fire down
And I feel kicked off my stage
I feel replaced
I feel like I'm no good
I'm happy I finally got recognized by more than 30 people though 🫶

Talking to the hall of walls
They don't respond, yet I keep talking till I get an answer
Sometimes, they disappear in plain sight
Into their own stories that are in the light
Yet, I think the walls are still here
Casting a shadow over me, there

I'm dissatisfied with my walls of pictures
They aren't talking back to me like they used to
They're making me feel alone and scared for how my future
Is going to look like too

All they do is ignore me
I'm simply m-u-t-t-e-r-i-n-g
Walking through the hall of walls
It's slowly turning to halls of walls as everyday goes by
I'm taking turns that get me lost and frustrated
Nobody is hearing my voice
They won't listen
Ignoring is overrated
My voice is “too soft to hear"
Yet, apparently "everyone” has an open ear

Knocking on the walls simply won't work
They're too cooped up in lala land
Or maybe they're cooped up between the walls of a bottle and a cork
Or they may be busy day dreaming about making a band to make a couple of bands

Whatever it is
I hope they'd stop dreaming
Just so they could talk to me and I could talk to them

You know what?
I would love to
Hit you
With a frying pan
Approximately 2,387 times
In the head
Around your temple
Until your head
Starts bleeding
But you know
That's illegal
So you're lucky
That I can't!



don't look behind you ! 🫶😋

I could never say it
People get me jealous
“Jealous, jealous girl"
Just only because
They got your attention
Your attention is supposed to be on me
At all times
I am your girlfriend, correct?
Is it bad that I don't want you talking to other girls?
Is it bad that I want to cling onto you and cuddle you just to prove that you're mine?
Is it bad that I want to feel your lips on mine relentlessly till we pass out just to prove you're all mine?
Is it bad that I want those girls dead?
Is it bad I want you in my bed?
Is it bad that those thoughts of mutilation was on my mind?
I just want you

Why do you enjoy your “homies" holding your hand?
Why do you enjoy your "homies” to touch you in ways that only I should?
I'm sorry I'm boring
I play the same jokes over and over again
I just want you all over me over and over again

So…. If you want to play that game
I'll be kind and take my aim
I'll shoot fire
I'll tell you someone gave me a hickey
I'll tell you someone was touching my ****
I'll tell you someone had kissed me
All just to make you jealous

Love ya!

I hate myself
I hate how I look
When I look at myself
Smiling
With my crooked teeth
With cavities filling my teeth
If one looked at me from afar
They'd think I had golden crowns

I hate how I look
With stars circling my eyes
Bags resting beneath my eyelids
With my double chin
Not making me comfortable until I be uncomfortable with it
With my chin with the ****
I look like the handsome Squidward
But uglier

I hate how I look
With the nose that magically grows hairs upon its head
And how the same stars from my eyes
Weren't turning into styes
No—
They're forming on my nose
Little glistening bumps
That won't quite turn into a pimple
And die down
No—
They stay for years on end
No matter what I do

I hate how I look
I hate how I grow hairs so fast on any part of my body
My unibrow somehow keeps coming back
The hair from my scalp
Keeps chasing my eyebrows
Which I didn't know it could happen
But I've seen me
How I have to shave my hands to reduce the judgement from my classmates
My friends I say
And how there's dirt constantly underneath the confines of my nails
No matter what I do
Anything doesn't do anything

I hate how I look
How everytime I bend over
I see the stomach fat
Like it's always there when I stand up
I keep comparing myself to those picture perfect social media girls
How there's no hair on their stomach
And how I can see their ribcage
And how... THIN they are
And my thighs-
They look like a **** triangle
I feel my thighs touching at the top
While down below, it's like I magically turned Korean
And how my calves
Are twenty shades lighter than any part of my body

I hate how I function
How my stomach produces excessive gas
And how my brain automatically wants to turn the batteries off to my body
And how my muscles ache
And how I can only run on motivation
Which causes my lack of dental hygiene
And how I'm getting rapidly addicted
To the drug that every kid loves
Makes sense cause I'm a kid that is racing to highschool
But everyday
I contemplate
How I keep up
Living five years in dream jail
Because everything IS a fever dream
It's tiring
Painful

I hate everyone... I-
.
.
.
Well not exactly everyone
Just people that **** me off
Which is about everyone
Because of my belief
People can't drive,
Park,
Use proper grammar in their native language,
Can't help but body shame
To feel better about themselves,
Can't help anyone
And never put themselves in other's shoes,
They can't use their own brain cells,
Basically inconsiderate ignorant fools

Sorry! 💋<3