I feel the monster clawing out of me
hes breaking free
from the cage that contained
every disturbing memory
I try to drown them
but they will not leave
and ignoring him
only makes it more angry
When the surface breaks
what will I be?
As my compassion
gets devoured by reality.

Memories escape my mind



Through the outside of my eyes.

Just follow my wandering mind
my heart will be there.

Have you ever wondered
what lies beyond the mirage,
or does the ******* they feed you
subdue your entourage?
Being pillaged and plundered
torn asunder by their botched collage.
Essential issues whither
the trivial prevail,
incessant bickering
we applaud, and we hail
As the boys in blue trade in their suits
for masks and camouflage.
Ignoring truth with no dispute,
Lady Liberty's bon voyage.

No sense to question why.
just wave her goodbye
Something in the water
Something in the sky

Inside a society
thats growing more resentful
they would rather see you fail
instead of be successful
my purpose starts to dwindle
chasing unrealistic goals
any warmth that still remains
is stolen by the cold
maybe I'm just tired,
perhaps I got old
all my passions have expired
under moss and mold.
The fabric is unraveling
fraying at the hem
This war I fight is maddening
to not be just like them

Even the poorest man
can treat a woman like gold.

at first I didnt really like or buy into the trend of 10w poetry, but now I kinda like the constraints, it gives the words power when they are done right in my opinion. Considering I usually find it best to say as much as you can with little as possible.

It didnt take an angel
to subdue my inner demons.

Just
  save your *******
for someone
  you actually cared about

Why does my worst poetry trend
while my best festers?

I don't expect you to understand
everything I say
I am just a broken man
who thought you may partake

What should I expect you to get
when its all just empty praise
your presence brings me to forget
the right words to convey

Should I foresee your comprehension
of what comes out my pen
Even though subliminal messages
are hidden time and time again.

I can only hide so much
before it is exposed
I guess I am a fool in such
the emperor has no clothes

Those who wish
to be madly in love
rarely ever have been
or they would understand
that it is a raging fire
few can hover over
for very long.

Taking necessities from many
to provide
luxuries
for the few

Anyone who still uses the word Alas tries too hard.

I am but a mote of dust
floating in the sunbeams
shining through the blinds
behind a locked window
that you refuse to open.

Im sorry I cant be like you
humans always on the move
scraping for their families
to supply nice shiny, little things
Im sorry that I can not act
in apathy or still intact
as those on your flashing screen
Id rather remain unseen
to those who would rather sleep
than make dreams a reality
clinging to a crippling fear
as happiness whizzes past their ears
Like a bullet that the eye cant catch
the masters money you must fetch
its the only way of gain
in a twisted, sick, society

but I dont want you anyway
I only want someone like me

You claim to turn a new leaf
but what about the trees that fell
in your name, and ceased
are they forgotten in the path you claim?
Look at what you uprooted
from all that you disputed
no solid ground to take foot in
you wish to forget this nuisance?
You say you're different now
but does that change the past
and how, exactly
does that change it now
directly, when whats been done
affects me already
All you do is run
and I'm sure that changes the outcome
just as you said
but still
you cant change the past
and never will.
The quill you penned within my head

Some people
learn to give up
yet survive
for years and years
their suicide
is slow
their certain death
hidden behind a smile
a laugh
a word of encouragement
as others **** away
the life they willingly give
as if they hold
some majestic secret
that everyone already knows.
Their acceptance
a prolonged curse
yet immediate blessing.

Removing loves veil
  allowed me to see
your true colors

My loss, and my gain
are one in the same.

Just a lost lonely boy
who realized how stubborn
he has been
and had to let go
of what he will always love
despite his willingness
to fight for it
because he can no longer
let it follow over him
like a black rain cloud
hiding the sunshine
that once was

I enjoy
a certain air of uncertainty.
Those who think
they have it all determined
and figured out,
are often disappointed
when things go afoul.
Unlike me,
who is pleasantly surprised
with the smallest of victories.

Stifled into servitude
infiltrated
*****, pillaged
consumed
The papers piper
plays their tune
Thick as thieves
they lead you to their ruse
Pay into the fuse
lighting our inevitable doom
Fictitiously facing
agitations of their separation
Believe youre free
to serve a nation
which merely is
a corporation

You work on being a posession,
   I seek a companion.

Im obsessed with sorrow
why cant I let things go?
I dont even know why
I follow the undertow

Made misery my maiden
but she has left me jaded
seeking out a light within
the darkness I created

Why is all I value
sold off to misfortune?
what am I to tell you
when the words I speak seem foreign

Seen so much
but feel so little
out of touch
clouded and riddled

Some
things
will
just
always
be
worth
all
the suffering

Most do not live long enough
to see their work pay off
There is too much contradiction
from the swine at the trough.

Most do not long enough
to see their craft evolve
they wait until we're dead and gone
to interpret the song.

You have turned me
ON
   and
OFF
So many times
that one day soon
it just may break
from over use
and the effect you desire
may no longer work
when you flip it

All this I hide
so you cant see
what lies inside
and bleed like me

my resignation
from this creation
wheres the compassion
within our actions

my resignation
from what is human
the end is looming
in all youre doing

Its a barrel on the tongue
a rope around the neck
pull the trigger
take the leap
wait for what is next

Its becoming sustenance
suicide by increments
the more it grows, the worse it gets
walking hand in hand with death

Its a razor to the wrist
water in the lungs
make the cut
take the plunge
let thy will be done

Its becoming evident
wounds showing the discontent
the more it grows, the worse it gets
as I lie here and bleed to death

All this I hide
so you cant see
what lies inside
and bleed like me

my resignation
from this creation
wheres the compassion
within our actions

my resignation
from what is human
the end is looming
in all youre doing

Watery eyes
haunted mind
in love with a ghost
whos still alive

This electric séance
tries to revive
what I had once
before I die

I'm smart enough
to know this true
dumb down my trust
just for your ruse

Hidden reasons
I suppress
my heart seizing
my time less

I thought this over
believed it passed
but here I am
with love poems again

and in the end
of this pass through
I shall become
more phantom than you

I the burden
with words effortless
this endless endeavor
this death perfect.

Dont make me conform to #hashtags

I dont want to have to spell out the portrayal of #thefuckingpoem

I want it to invoke whatever feelings they may #discernfromit

Not #spellitoutforthem

#love #pain #fun #disdain #**** #this #thoughtless #game

With passing time
the paint begins to crack
and slowly peels away
Revealing a tainted canvas
of what you really are
as opposed to how I pictured you
I try to figure out
what is more heartbreaking,
Who you really are
or what I wanted to see.
The angel plucking my heartstrings
its lovely sirens song
or the Demon
who ripped them away
leaving a silent void.

I fight a war on too many fronts
and am losing in every direction
opaque views of what I want
and what is worth the mention
Ignored the facts for way too long
time to remove the veil
from what I have known all along
the jailers in the cell
With nothing left to do
and nothing left to say
the truth in choices that were made
why it remains this way.

In a blurry haze
I drunk dialed god
of course he didn't answer
and his voicemail box was full
I'm just another with incoherent ramblings
of his abandonment
that goes unheard
No sappy admissions
of missing how he used to make me feel
or how empty I have been
since his departure
Even his own son
felt forsaken by him
So I suppose I shouldnt expect any better
Now I remember
why I don't call him anymore

Just when I think
I have pulled away far enough
I am pulled right back
without any intervention
by you
Yet I stir
in my desolation
awaiting
another to arrive with scissors
sharp enough
to cut me loose

She said she'd always love me
but obviously not enough
to do anything about it
and certainly not as much
as I have loved her

She said that I can find love
when I told her I wont
and maybe
she would be right
if I could stop
throwing all mine away
for her

So I'll bid adieu
Because I have to
Though it's not what
I want to do

I'll mosey down
this lonely path
because you're the best
I'll never have

That new leaf
You claimed to turn
Looked just as unsightly
As the old one
Although
I only caught a glance
While you blew by
Yet again.

I think I'm pretty sure
I could have it worse
but I can not ignore
that it still doesn't hurt

I can still force a smile
participate in wiles
but I'm without a purpose
to search for the worthwhile

I'll hide behind this mask
that's grown ugly and cracked
as long as you don't ask
what brought about this fact.

Holding to a secret
although everyone knows
this guise became my skin
I stretched around my bones.

Any peace of mind
stolen out of spite
an impossible bind
that has purloined my insight.

Maybe you were just
a pretty, pretty pistol
that caught my eye
and wanted to put in my mouth

Maybe I thought you were
a good way to die
Maybe I only loved you
because of the misery you caused
and maybe
I don't want that misery anymore

So let the barrel
burn my tongue of your taste
and the bullet
erase your thoughts from my brains
and if there was anything
you ever truly wanted of me

Maybe you can scrape what is left
from the walls

Even the brightest of birds
Get used to their cage

I may never be successful
should I feel like I'm supposed to?
I don't share the same ambitions
as many others do
slaving through their days
in a monetary excuse
I would rather die broke and lonely
loving what I pursue
than surrounded by acquaintances
loving that which isn't you.

There is no lesser evil that benefits the greater good,
The people victims in a system thats misunderstood
Fussing and fighting over money and their policies
Forget the hungry, dying species, and polluted seas

Saying the systems so superb, such a grand thing
being fooled and bamboozled to where we cant think
No longer following our own dreams
So convoluted trapped inside of this grand scheme

Jack of all trades, master of none
they have many games to play, you cant go after just one
Please pretend to have a say, in their controlled outcome
be at ease, go to sleep, as feet stomp to war drums

Is this how we should exist, should I really be ******?
Am I the only who thinks we can do better than this?
Why do so many participate in this ignorance?
Why must we allow fallacies like this to persist?

At the end and trying to begin
seeking out a way to make amends
veiled behind a smile thats pretend
questioning just who is foe and friend
When theres nothing left for them to steal
you quickly find out which allies are real
I'm opening the door once again
no longer afraid of who may come in
even if its just to bring more hurt
at least I would feel something
and at this point, anything will work.
I want to be the one that someone needs
instead of just another luxury
Even though I don't have all the parts
I'm rebuilding whats left of my heart
Maybe the picture can still be seen
even with some puzzle pieces missing

but I wont know for sure,
  until I start overhauling
regardless what I've been discarding
there is still a reason to believe

That even the empty can be complete

I only hate you
because loving you
does no good

Just look what its done to me
Its something I failed to see
It happened so suddenly
and ended so tragically

Watch as your bridges burn
when will you ever learn?
Now that your bridge has burned
where are you going to turn?

Destroy and rebuild again
when will it ever end
I see the smoke up ahead
and I don't know who's my friend

I saw the space burn today
where we would have met half way
smoldering disarray
above where rough waters lay

You know that I would meet you half way
but now half way sits in decay

Fate always has a different plan
than that of which I make
why should one even plan at all
a forsaken destiny
I cant slap back the hand of god
or applaud the devils nod
when it seems each and every dream
is reality's facade

I will never
write a poem
with the curves
and grace
that you possess. . .
or the thoughts and feelings
you instill on me
How can a man
describe or imagine
a woman who surpasses
the girl of his dreams?

I remember the days
I used to punch up inanimate objects
to a pulp
until my knuckles were bare
and they were a ****** mess for weeks
so in a way,
I guess I did the same thing

I used to judge some of the girls I knew
who did this. . .
thinking they just wanted attention,
but they did. .
and now I realized, so did I.

We all do. .  

Maybe we just want others to see our pain
or perhaps we want to manifest
our mental pains physically

but I grew out of it
and found new, better ways
to express that fiery pit inside me
to relate it to others
and you will too. . .

So I can honestly say. . .
  It just isnt worth it.

Life will scar you enough as it is,
and the best thing you can do
is grin as it does
in defiance.

When did I lose the sun
where did I fold
what happened to everyone
where did they go?
Im here alone
on this long lonely road
where all that is golden
does no longer show

Caught in the winds of change
everythings strange
drifting past faces
that dont seem the same
Should I go back the way that I came
or let the winds carry me on through the grey?

Carry me on through the grey
to the blue I used to see

Losing my family
losing my friends
losing myself
as I lose in the end
losing the girl
losing my world
and losing my mind
as it spins and twirls.

Carry me on through the grey
to the blue I used to see

Caught in the winds of change
everythings strange
drifting past faces
that dont seem the same
Should I go back the way that I came
or let the winds carry me on through the grey?

**just a song Im in the midst of recording with my band, figured Id share it

They will never be good enough
my hand will never translate
what my heart and soul wants to say
there is always something missing
there is always too many words
or too little
as I toil over an empty canvas
and all I can do
is keep writing
until I find it.

I've always known better
but love blinded me
My instincts told me
yet passion subdued me
I am smarter than this
but the heart does not hear the mind
I heeded all warnings
yet ignored and got lost in my awareness
I had better choices
but persistence led me astray
My punishment
remains my choice
from reluctance
to let go
of my own reflection