I would rather pull my teeth
than bite my tongue.

I said I'd go through hell for you
And that's just where I went
to return and find you gone
After my sentence was spent
Who was right?
Who was wrong?
I guess I'll never know
As I carry with me
That journey down below.

Pretending not to care
seems to be
the easiest route
for those with bigger hearts.
Although,
you come to find
as you walk that road
the pitfalls are much more dangerous.

It is becoming
So hard to be that monster
That people admire
Like watching a Trainwreck
Which gives the simple
Something to talk about
And getting older
Makes it more difficult
By the day
I have rendered myself so frail
Fighting a young man's war
Without the concern
Of becoming the old man
Who calls the shots
I fill with worry
That when that beast dies
Because I can no longer maintain him
No one will love
who I actually am
As I wonder
If anyone
Actually ever knew

Chaos
has been
a better friend to me
than faith

Such rare traits
are a blessing
from a non-responsive God.

I enjoy
a certain air of uncertainty.
Those who think
they have it all determined
and figured out,
are often disappointed
when things go afoul.
Unlike me,
who is pleasantly surprised
with the smallest of victories.