no one really understands...
i feel fat, huge, disgusting, to  the point that i am uncomfortable in social scenes and my own body...
nothing fits my body right, at all.
and they say its because im 'so curvy for my age', please just quit lying to me.
quit telling me im pretty, or im so skinny, and curvy.
im disgusting.
i dont understand why other people dont see it...
i can list something wrong with every part of my body... and the fact that im friends with this one girl who is just gorgeous at all times, just hurts more, but its not her fault im ugly...
its not her fault that she lies to me,
society tells her its okay to.
just so it will make me feel a little better for a fraction of a second.
but i see through the lies,
i feel the nasty looks and looks of pity i get.
i see the looks that i get that say 'i cant believe shes so ugly...'

'you look pretty today'*          *you look prettier still...'you too'

'i love you'                              how could you?, 'i love you too'

'you're my bestfriend'         *why? im just me? 'your my bestfriend too'

If only walls could talk;
They'd tell you about me,
And how they hear me scream,
And watch me while I bleed.

If only walls could talk;
They'd tell you I was ******
Surprised that I'm not dead,
With a knife clutched to my hand.

If only walls could talk;
They'd tell you how I cry,
All the pain that's in my eyes,
That's eating me alive.

If only walls could talk;
They'd tell you to be strong,
To keep on moving on,
Long after I'm gone

Saying goodbye
Was the hardest thing to do
I never thought I would
Especially not to you.

You always listened
And knew what to say
Knew when to give a hug
When I was having a bad day.

No one will ever take your place
I can always promise you this
It's hard to find someone like you
So know you'll always be missed