I ask you
'how have you been? Isn't this your favorite drink?'
but also
'I hope I'm not trying too hard'
I know I probably overthink

You say
'I had a great time with my friends. We had so much fun'
Sending a picture
'how was your weekend?'
Isn't that a strange mixture?

I grasp for something deeper still
Aren't you too?
I can't be the only one here that wants and will
Clearly you want to share as much as I do
So shouldn't you be willing also?

Why claiming, wanting
but then feel distant
Why do I feel like I need to be hunting
for anything resembling something subsistent
I don't want to feel like constantly being insistent

you popped the hood
and ran your fingers
over the engine
stroking the piston
smoothing the dipstick
feeling the carburetor
and for once
i felt jealous
of a honda civic