I can't blame you for losing yourself and hiding in the closet with those skeletons you keep.
It's summer out here in Texas and the weather is frying my spirit and the confidence I had is pouring down my face with shame.
I can't blame you for spilling your guts to me when you needed it most; I'm sorry I couldn't do the same.

It's snowing back home in September and I am over here hiding my face from the world wishing I could wear a mask permanently sometimes.
I can't blame you for running away- I ran the same direction but stopped a little too soon I think...
Hard times will make you wonder how you survived when you're on the edge of the cliff and can see rock bottom just below.

I can't blame you for hating me, but you can't blame me for wishing you didn't.
I can't blame you for having nothing to say because  you were the water to my garden but I'm drowning.
I cannot bloom, my petals are falling off day by day and this Texas heat has me lethargic and depressed.

Soon I'll be heading home, back to the desert where my soul remains.
I know the the things you'll say.
I can hear them in the back of my head, but the times have changed.
I can't blame you for running away... but I am running back home now.

I gave you time- all the time in the world- and when i promised i would love you forever - it wasn't a lie-
However, the time has been passing, and each day I wait, I find a piece of my soul goes missing-
Life would have been everything we wanted it to be - but you couldn't get me a straight answer to save your life-

I gave you time- all the time in the world- and when I promised I would love you forever, well, you're turning me into a liar-
I went to close the door, I shoved all the evidence of you back into the closet and locked it air tight, hoping that if i left no oxygen in the room your memories would die-
However, the memories are trying to escape and reaching out to my friends is still the cowards way to go-

I gave you time- all the time in the world- and when I promised I would love you forever, well, I'm taking that back now-
You used me up, you disrespected me and made me the fool in my own kingdom when I should have been the queen-
However, I made it **** near impossible to reach me this time- I am locking up my heart- double knotting it to the docks so  it doesn't float right back your way again-

I gave you time.
I gave you all the time in the world.
When I promised I would love you forever- I didn't know the clock would stop working.

You were early morning fog that keeps rolling in on grassy hilltops.
Green covered in red and yellow and brown; a place where the living meets the dying.
Cool, minty breath, and the image of you rolling down that hill with a pumpkin in hand will haunt me for the rest of my life.
Orange hair, dark freckles on your face, pretty black tights and a bright yellow jacket that was almost too obnoxious for the beginning of September.

"When did the Autumn become the saddest season?" I asked her as she sipped her coffee as black mascara fell down her pink freckled cheeks.