You were as golden yellow as the Carolina Jessamine.
You were as petite as the Long- Spurred Violet.
You were as graceful as the Wisteria and as complex as the Passionflower.
You stood as tall as the Sunflowers and as enchanting as the Fall Aster.
You were as intoxicating as the Cardinal flower; haunting everyone and slowly making them fall in love with you.
Your eyes are brighter then those Baby Blue eyes you love so much.
You were as happy as the California Poppy's.


You and your Wildflower Warpaint.

I had my own dreams and goals before I met you.
I am going to find those again.

Driving down a a road highlighted in wildflowers and the sun shining bright ahead of me I take a moment to reflect.
I see the dark clouds in my rear view mirror and I scream --
Here's to new beginnings!

I can see how close my future is.
I can feel it on the tip of my tongue when I start singing the songs that remind me of last summer.
I can feel it in every sip of fresh water and every time I jump into lakes with my friends.
I can feel it when I smile with real passion behind it and every time I say "I'm trying" and actually mean it.
I can feel it as I watch the memories of you and every other person who hurt me burn in fire.

I had my own dreams and goals before I met you.
I regret nothing but it's time to lock those doors and lose the keys for good.

I take a long drive, music up and I scream as loud as I can--
Here's to new beginnings.

I have tattoos all over my body but you can't see them all.
They are the words that everyone has ever used against me permanently embedded into my skin.
The judging stares and wandering eyes that make me want to cover my body and hide away.
If you could see them you wouldn't look at me the same ever again.

Heartless- Bold and Italicized across my chest.
Regret- Hidden behind the back of my neck
Fat- Underlined across my stomach
Desperate- Beautifully written between my thighs
Lonely, Pathetic- split between my wrists

The words you keep saying, the words you pretend you don't mean are covering me.
The hatred I feel towards myself can never be fully seen.
If I even opened myself up just little more for you too see you would look away with pity and shame.

Remember this the next time you tell me you regret having me.
Remember this the next time you tell me I am heartless or fat or ugly.
Remember this the next time you tell me my self esteem has ruined my relationships.

Because just beneath the surface lies the art that isn't shown to the world.