I never understood it
The difference between alone and lonely
How can you be lonely if you’re not alone?
If there are people everywhere how can you be lonely?
But now I see
I see why I’ve been sad for what feels like forever
I can see how even with so many friends
Friends I care about
Who care about me
I can still be so lonely
It’s like
Insecurities cancel out the people you care about
With so much insecurity to spare
Lately it’s been hard
Nothing has changed
But maybe I have?
I’ve been pulling away
Stopped texting
Stopped answering calls I didn’t have to
Someone texted to ask if I was ok
I had to lie
It’s no good lying to yourself if you’re going to tell people the truth
Now my phones always off
I can’t bear to answer my friends
But I’m always terrified they have a group chat without me
I’m sure a psychologist would have a field day here
Reading my words
Or probably not
I tend to make a big deal of things
Everyone’s as messed up as I am
Right?