Today

Corridor
cubicle
knick-knacks...
computer,
chair
co-worker­...

Parking lot
status/car
leather seats
class established
road home...

Modern large, house
many rooms, furniture.
Giant television, computer
game console, throw pillows...
...beautiful wife, luxury bedroom.

Money in stocks, paid-off home
inherited wealth, garden with gnome
butterfly bushes, peonies, sunflowers
life of fulfillment, family of hours...
...everything in life, collected, recorded.

1,000 years later

...dust...


Whom could afford it?

I swear your wingspan can bring man to his knees
but I’ve learned to withstand what it does to me.
We used to be in love, I used to hold her hand
till someone told her fly free so she left me for better land.
She said I love you like a friend. I hope you understand.
No I don’t but I see how you took a younga’ man
unda’ your wing and pulled a couple of strings
like it was all according to plan.
Now I’m not the biggest fan of your antics
but I gotta stand up even if I can’t stand it.
******* it. I know I’m at a disadvantage
but I’ll manage when haven’t I been up to a challenge?
Time to put your hands in. No I won’t be a stand in
but don’t panic man it’s so outlandish for you to think
that I’ll go ghost and vanish on you in a blink of an eye
before I can wash up what you can dish out
oh my gosh I wish you would just quit now while you’re ahead.
I’ll explore the ends of the Earth for my friend.
I’ll return to her once she earns it,
once she deserves it, once upon a time.
Never mind the prior line just discern it
like you did the verdict.
Yeah you heard it and I’m sure it sounds absurd
but at first you found a thirst for the last word.
I heard you mutter ‘*******’ under your breath
and honestly, I’m flattered
to see how much I mattered to you nonetheless.
But promise me that once this all ends,
we’ll still have the strength to make amends
because I said it once before and I’ll say it again.
I said I’ll always love you just like a friend.

© Matthew Harlovic

Sitting in the floor
Pulling my hair
Surrounded by thousands of people
That are not really there.

I feel the bugs on my skin
The thoughts tell me to hang myself
I ask "When"?

Loud noises from the hollow
All in my head
Throwing up the pills I did not swallow.

Oh God, where are you now
I'm going crazy
I'm going to **** myself... Somehow

Wrote a note to my mom
I'm so sorry I said
Eight years ago
I'm still not dead.

* YOU CAN OVERCOME THIS

Everything around me seems to be 500 stories tall,
When I make it to the top, I'm still haunted by the fall.
White walls around me, paired with white coats
No windows, no sunshine, just a cold stethoscope.

I don't want to be here, cared for, or analyzed
My emotions are raw, and I don't want them supervised
Put your pen down, please stop writing my expression
and maybe you'd be better at your so called "profession."

Not everything is a prescription, my mind will not tame.
You say that I matter, but I could not say the same.
So when you watch me, watch the white wall,
don't bother reaching out, just let me fall.

these days i am
in-between

not a student
yet not a teacher
waiting on a call
an interview
anything

not a lover
yet not a stranger
searching for a friend
a hand to hold
anything

not a tenant
yet not homeless
looking for a flat
a home
anything

all i am
is lukewarm