When a rose bud is born... It slowly raises it's head...
Like wise was my tiny baby s sleeping closed eyes.. deep in sleep..

The stark deep red rose bud comes out of the green...
The same was the brightness of my son... Spotless, shining, serene..

The bud blooms,
That bright, glowing, strong petals
Likewise was the skin of my son... Like a shining sun..

But alas we love the young buds a far too much
We cut it and put in in vase
I am here staring at a bud like that in a hospital,
From behind the glass wall I am staring both.... I am reading innocence of both...

In NICU, my son is sleeping, lost in between the pipes which is giving him life,
The bud too in the vase thinking of it's mother...yearning to be in arms of it's mother..
The *** that holds it's mother out side.. Is also waiting for it to return...maybe!!
May be scared to bloom another bud....
The pain of losing is thr for both of us...
To loose is easy
To live in uncertainty is not...

How does a new born baby feel...I  know not...
How to satisfy day old baby s hunger ....I know not..
How is a 6th day* celebration done I know not...
How does it feel to bathe a new born...I know not...

What I know though
Is that my new born is sleeping in NICU
I have been staring him from glass for past one month
I will wear clean, sterilized clothes am ushered to be near him..
For few seconds... Once in 24 hrs... My maternal love becomes alive...
Though I go near him, cameras are thr, I cannot touch him, I can feel his breathing..I can see him sleeping...
My hands behind..
Face covered with mask..
I gaze at him with blurred eyes,
I give him love of both his dad* and myself...

Just for that moment...
Both of us again stand behind that glass wall
We show our son to all those who pass by
We hide our tears behind our smiles..
We stand again in wait thr...

When I took my month old baby in my arms for first time....
He is still the same, he looks still the same...
How are these wonders of universe, the creators..
How can a colorful life become color-less..
Each day, each moment some where a new bud is born..
A new creation everyday...

Sparkle in Wisdom

When everything is said and done
I will collect the pieces of yourself you left behind on our living room floor
I will place them in a box and I will put them on my shelf
for a time-
They will cry for you to come back and claim them again
Like me-
they will tell themselves
You would never decide you could live without them
But eventually-
they will grow dust
and become tired of longing for someone
who will never come back
And so will I

- We are more than the love they did not give

This day has been too long
I'm ready for night's song
a reverie of pleasant sleep
and dreams to keep
and dreams to keep.

This day has been too long
correct me if I'm wrong
but twilight is a gift
a prelude to a rift
a prelude to a rift.

The dark is creeping fast
what light there is won't last
sandman spreads his seed
the comfort that we need
the comfort that we need.

Outside the stars are glowing
a cool light breeze is blowing
and my bed is like a nest
to curl  into...to rest
to curl  into...to rest.

This day has been too long
the heat has been too strong
and the coolness of the night
gives me solace till the light
gives me solace till the light.

Here we go again
Another notch on my belt
For a game I can never win
For you it’s the pleasure and sensation
For me freedom is my only destination
Plagued by depression and pain
Held together by insecurities in my brain
Only the feeling of flesh eases everything
No one understands my hunger
they think it’s just my Y chromosome
But here is where I don’t feel alone
No matter the cost or who I lost
I need your body so I know I’m boss
It’s a sickens that I can’t treat
The only prescription I have
Is more of me inside of
Whoever that I seek
At least for that week

I am the piano and you are the pianist
together we leave a great song where
all our feelings comes out.