She wondered if there’d come a time
God wouldn’t call her any more.
A time he’d say “I’m done with her
She won’t give up her sinful ways”.

She puts on holiness like rouge
And thinks good works will pay her way
But in her heart duplicity
Obscures the path she needs to walk.

She reaches out with ***** hands
To touch the spotless hem of faith
In hoping for a miracle -
That God still recognizes her.

But God has turned his face away
He’s knocked her door too many times
To find it opened just an inch

In a world with far too many people
With way too many things to do
In so many places that are
Just too hard for them to get to,
We can only wait.

The traffic lights are slow to turn
And the phone is never answered.
The vending machine does not give change
And Fed-Ex never stops out front
Even though we wait.

In a world where real is mostly fake
And Fake becomes a brand name,
We spend the funds we do not have
On things we’ll never ever use,
Not even if we wait.

The processes that make things go
Are grinding to a halt.
The future mimics yesterday
And we can’t see tomorrow.
So we can only wait.
   ljm

Working from home on my computer and taking phone calls from the public for a living
My office had me rostered to do the phones in the morning from 9.30 onwards
So I set my alarm clock for 10 to 9 to give me enough time to get up and get things ready,
But that night, for some reason, that night I just could not get to sleep
Wasn't that I was worried about anything, it's just sometimes I find it hard to sleep
Well, I tossed and I turned, I tried everything..., I counted sheep,  tried to hypnotize myself,
Finally I got up and made myself a large herbal tea sleep drink, used two tea bags double strength
Even took a tablet afterwards and even then... I still couldn't sleep
Finally... finally I do drop off but it's like I've only been sleeping like for two hours
And then the **** alarm clock goes off
And now it's morning and I really am tired and it's ****** freezing in my room
And I'm lovely and warm and snug in my bed,
So I say to my alarm clock "Aww give me another 5 minutes will ya!"
(And I still don't know how to use the snooze function on my alarm clock)
So I close my eyes and of course, in no time I've dropped off again
And I get this dream...
I dream I'm walking along this path
And there's these three big guys walking in front of me
It's like a father in the middle and his two big strapping sons either side of him,
But their walking kinda slow whereas I'm walking fast
So I pass them out and I say "hello" just as I'm passing, just to be friendly
Then as I'm walking ahead of them I can hear them making these snide little comments about me behind my back
'Well that's not very nice' I think to myself
Then the next thing I know, suddenly there's this big arm around my throat strangling me
And I hear them saying "Let's **** this ******!"
And I'm thinking "What!!! What the ****! these feckers their... their trying to **** me, what am I going to do!!!
Then I think, "This is serious! My life is on the line here, It's **** or be killed, you gotta do something, you gotta fight back
(Now I ain't no fighter)"
So I'm there wriggling around, punching and kicking wildly, trying desperately to break free, fighting for my life apparently
But what becomes evident pretty quickly is that these guys they don't appear to be very good fighters either
'Cos suddenly I find myself on top of the father guy
And I've got both my hands around his throat and I'm choking, I'm strangling him now
But of course, I've never killed anyone before
So I don't know what the hell I'm doing
I'm there thinking, how do you choke...how do you strangle someone
I wonder am I doing this right, Ugh! It's not very nice, it's pretty gruesome, his face is going all red, he doesn't look too happy, does he ?
And then I'm also wondering where's them other two feckers gone?"
Then I think "I don't like this, maybe there's a better way... maybe I should... maybe I should kick him in the head instead, that might be quicker, that might be better,
But then I think "Well that's not very nice either, kicking someone in the head, I wouldn't like someone kicking me in the head..."
Anyway suddenly then I wake up out of all this craziness
And I look at my clock and it's like 9.25
"****!!!", I say, "I'm supposed to be on the phones in 5 minutes!!!
So I get up in my pyjamas, rush to my computer room, hurriedly put in all the plugs and switch all the switches on
I know it's gonna take at least 7 or 8 minutes before the broadband/ WiFi comes on
So I'm never gonna make 9.30
I switch on my computer and my work phone
And put my pants on while I'm waiting for the WiFi
When it comes on I gotta log in and put in the passwords and then open up all the programs
So in all it's about 9.45 before I'm all set to go
But then of course my phone rings rather ominously and it's my Boss on the other end of the line and he doesn't sound very pleased
"Are you not on the phones!" he says, "the Phone Manager just rang me and said there's no one from our Unit manning the phones, you were rostered to be on the phones this morning"
So I say to him, "Look!!! They were trying to **** me Man, there was three of them in it
It was touch and go there for awhile,
I mean what could I do, it was **** or be killed, I had to fight 'em!"
"What are you talking about?", asks my Boss totally confused
"Nightmares man!! I was having a nightmare,  They were trying to **** me so I had to try and **** them back, What was I gonna do
I don't normally **** someone this early in the morning"
(Then I added) "Lucky I don't have a partner or I'd be up for ******".

Funny thing was the experience of fighting for my life in the dream
It seemed to carry me through the whole morning, even the day
I strangely didn't give a hoot about the phone calls coming in and what they might be asking me
The job it just seemed completely unreal compared to the experience I'd just had fighting for my life in the dream
And y'know it was good... so good to find that I was still alive... and back here again in the world.

At a funeral recently I met a lot of people I hadn't seen in ages
Like from a hundred years ago (so it seemed)
What got me was, some of them it looked like they'd hardly aged at all
They looked....they looked nearly exactly the same
Now Me! I'd changed... I'd aged a lot
The trials and tribulations of this life had taken their toll
I said to one of them "Y'know you're still as young looking as I remember you
Is there some kind of Dorian Gray thing going on here
You don't have some mysterious portrait hidden away up in the attic"
I went on "Y'know you could do a movie and you could play yourselves
And when you go up to the attic and unveil the picture
Me! I could play the part of The Portrait staring back at you
You'd recoil in horror O! It's my true self, it's... it's so decrepit, so terrible looking (LoL)".

Me! when I look in the mirror all I see is a ghost
The very distant memory of a once beautiful looking kid.