For those who wonder

What my costume may be

On this lovely Halloween day

It has changed many times

Until I finally came to decide

I am the most realistic thing

That someone of my standing

And my personality may be

So for today, I have dressed as

What I see myself to be

Today I am a dead poet

Do you not see how well it fits

For someone as strange as me

So happy Halloween, my dear

Have all happiness and no fear

Everything is just pretend

Built for your enjoyment

I can't remember your name anymore.

Your face has been lost in my mind.

I think we were friends once.

You've been gone for a long time.

Were you real or imaginary?

A voice inside my head?

I can't seem to find your face.

Deep inside my mind.

I have a feeling you were important.

Whether you were real or not.

Where did you go?

How far away?

I suppose those are things.

I will never know.

My voice never seems to be loud enough

To break through storm in your mind

I can never seem to get through to you

No matter how hard I try

Your breathing is sometimes so shaky

Like you're trying not to cry

Why don't you give me your burdens?

I'm here til the day you die

Why am I happiest when it is loud?

Surrounded by fake friends that wont stick around

As opposed to in silence all by myself

Reflecting upon small moments in my day

Could it be because my happiness depends on others?

Or am I simply afraid that my mind will destroy that feeling?

Whatever the reason may be.....

I find that I am happy that you listen to me

I don't count on happiness

Or expect perfection

The day comes and goes

With a shallow ache of rejection

I paste a smile on my face

Tell my parents I had a good day

Listen to loud music to hear the noise

Get stuck between the bathrooms for girls and boys

Questioning myself and my choices

Ignoring the whispers of condescending voices

I try to be helpful... Try to be good

I use my manners like any good kid should

I hide behind fake cheerfulness

And hide from the world with fantasy

Video games and anime consume my days

While I hide from the sun and its blinding rays

I spend so much time being someone else

That slowly but surely I lose myself

You grab my hands in yours

Reminding me I'm special

You slip bracelets on my wrists

Reminding me you're here

You paint my nails black

Reminding me that you care

You spray me with your cologne

A good luck charm for my test

I pass with flying colors

And love you more than the rest

My friend, you are so special

I want to keep you close

If I lost you as well

It would hurt more than most

Please stay my friend forever

I don't know what I'm doing

I can't stop writing

My fingers refuse to cease their movement

I have too many feelings

Too many thoughts

An idea building up

But I don't know how to shape it

I don't know how to treat it

To feed it

Is it an enemy?

I wish to defeat it

A lump is growing in my throat

My stomach is full of knots

I have too many issues

They're all pouring out

There's no holding back now

My thoughts are an ocean

There is no solid ground

The clock is ticking down

Why does time pass so slowly?

I feel years older already

Though only days have gone by

Life is harder without their smiles

I wish they still wanted me around

Friendship was what fueled me

Now my soul is breaking down

I wonder how long it will take

For me to realize it was my mistake

That scared them all away

A year? A month? A week? A day?

No, I feel I already knew

But not exactly what I'd done

I miss them dearly

Their smiles were my sun

The world shines less brightly now

My school days feel grey

I want them back but...

I'll get used to it

All too soon

Your time is up

If he sees you

Play a merry tune

The piper

Standing there

Around the corner

Take a look

Are you looking?

There's a mystery

Trouble's cooking

Hold your breath

Can you hear that?

It's on it's way

Here come's death.

I want to be heard
But
I don't want to speak
And
I want to be remembered
But
I don't want to be different
And
I know I'm free
But
Sometimes I feel trapped
And
My head's not in the clouds
But
I stare at the sun
And
I don't want kids
But
I love toddlers
And
I want to be a teacher
But
I don't want to go to college

I am
A person
I am
Not a doll
I am
Afraid to fall
I am
Not a bird
I am
Only so strong
I am
Kind of smart
I am
A beating heart
I am
Living here
I am
Used to fear
I am
Not weak
I am

My friends told me

They didn't want me anymore

I scare them you see

They never understood me

I tried to send them away

They promised to stay

What happened to promises?

Now they've all gone away..

I can sit alone at school

Every day

My brain is a twisted web,
A tangled mess of thoughts,
I don't even know all that’s in there—
Sometimes it feels like I’m going insane.

Never have I been more afraid,
Self-loathing hits an all-time high;
I can't decide whether to cry
Or let go entirely, wishing to die.

In shadows deep where silence weeps,
Lost laughter lingers, and memory sleeps.
The moon, a ghost, casts pale, soft light,
Reminding us gently of a vanished night.

Each sigh a story, each tear a trace,
Whispers of joy in a haunted space.
Yet in the stillness, a flicker remains—
Sorrow and beauty entwined in chains.

Every voice in a unique timber,
None are quite the same.
Echoes filling the world—
Born simply to fade.

Just realized something

I write poems about Identity

As well as poems about gender

BUT

I forgot to update my gender

Time to add the right gender

Ooh and pronouns too!

Showing who I am

So have a smile

From me to you! :)

Thank you for support!

Thank you for reading!

Thank you for the suns!

Thank you for listening to my feelings!

Thank you for the views!

Thanks to you I'm on the front page!

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! <3

I found my letter to my future self
Written out in middle school

Back to the days I was very young
When I was still lesbian

I wanted three kids two boys and a girl
One year apart

Thinking back I cant help but wonder
Did I know I wasn't a girl?

Who knows? Who cares?
I am who I am

Since that is the case though
I will continue on from there

Wish me luck

I have things I absolutely cannot do.
I swear it is not a lie but 100% true.

I cannot message strangers online.
Have caused trouble time after time.

I cannot be alone near fire.
Please don't ask why.

I can only watch certain shows.
Everything below TV14.

I can not walk around alone.
Need someone with me.

Sometimes I find myself ahead
Others I fall behind

Sometimes I love to read
Others I rest my eyes

Sometimes I watch anime
Others I'm on Disney+

Sometimes I watch old movies
Others I watch Owl House

Sometimes I want to be an adult
Others I find I'm still a kid

Sometimes I rush to grow up
Others I want to be Peter Pan

Sometimes the world spins too fast
Others it feels too slow

Sometimes I keep a schedule
Others I go with the flow

I have a stuffed Raccoon

I call him Poe to myself

Though when people ask his name

I must introduce him properly

For to strangers he shall be called his proper name

I have a stuffed raccoon

One who sleeps by my pillow at night

Named after a poet

One of my favorite poets in fact

So since to him you are all strangers

I shall now introduce him properly

My silly raccoon plushie

Who wears a blue bow

His name is Poe

Edgar Allen Poe

Been a while

They ask how I've been doing

Oh I'm fine

Been about two days since I cried

People say my face looks like a dog just died

Oh it's ok

It's alright I'm fine

Smiling all the time

Real or fake?

Who cares?

Made a mistake

Bumped my head

Don't fret; I'm not dead

Oh I'm fine

I'll say it all the time

I'm alright

Even if I'm not

Sleep is way too hard

Maybe I should just start

Intrusive thoughts say to give up

Maybe I should start

I’m weary, tired, shadows near,  
But like the song, I’ll persevere.  
Sick of the struggle, longing for peace,  
Yet I’m still standing, my heart won’t cease.  

Though feeling done, there’s still a spark,  
You know I’ll rise, igniting the dark.  
With every challenge, I’ll find my way,  
Just like the lyrics, I’ll seize the day.

Parfois, j'ai tellement peur.
J'essaie de me cacher dans ma chambre.
Recroquevillée sur moi-même, les yeux fermés.
J'essaie de me cacher de mes peurs et de ma douleur.
Le monstre ne se cache pas dans mon placard.
Il n'est pas sous mon lit.
Il est à l'intérieur de mon cerveau, caché au plus profond.
Il est le fruit de mon imagination.
Il me laisse terrifié.
La cause de tous mes cauchemars.
Un monstre qui semble bien réel.
Je perds peu à peu le fil de ma réalité.
J'ai du mal à réfléchir.
Je vais me débarrasser de mes peurs.
Avec l'eau de l'évier.

(Sometimes I get so scared.
I try to hide in my room.
Curled up, eyes closed.
I try to hide from my fears and my pain.
The monster isn't hiding in my closet.
It's not under my bed.
It's inside my brain, hidden deep inside.
He's a figment of my imagination.
It leaves me terrified.
The cause of all my nightmares.
A monster that seems very real.
I'm gradually losing touch with reality.
It's hard to think.
I'm going to get rid of my fears.
With water from the sink.)