Worn, ******, raw
The goad wounds, but she
Can't stop kicking
Breaking rules, hurting self
Desperate for freedom

Tired, scared, trapped
A sheep caught in wire
boundaries meant for protection
Frightened, she fights harder
Barbs dig deeper
She's killing herself

If she could just hold still, submit
The Sheperd would set her free
Though thorns pierce his brow

Worn, ******, raw
The whip wounds, but He
Surrenders freely

Not me, I can't
The white flag I've spent
On a blood-soaked attempt
To bandage my own wounds
Feeble waste it was
Masked, they're still there
Worn, ******, raw

They say sticks and stones may break my bones
But her words
They've cut me deeper than a belt or switch ever could
They've left their sting, their wounds, their mark
Not on flesh where any eye could see
But hidden, secretly
On my broken wounded heart
Strike by strike, their tone, their sound
I'm broken, beaten to the metaphorical ground

This 'strong-willed child'
'Stubborn' and 'determined'
Was a scared, lost little girl
In such a big, frightening world
Longing to be hugged and held
But the looming Tyrant only
Criticized and sometimes yelled

The once-bubbly child fell silent
Learned to bite her tongue
So the words don't come, that lead
To punishment and correction
The price she paid, the feeling
Of belonging and connection seemed
A worthwhile fee to find protection
Alone, isolated,
Wordless perfection

waking up in a haze,
wondering what day it is.

nights blurring into the next,
trying to pull myself together.

lost, confused, wondering:
what the hell is wrong with me?

is this just a phase?
is this post-traumatic response
or recovery?

because everything seems
to go too fast, or
way too slow,

and i think
i'm gonna breakdown.

stupid toxic tendencies,
i keep trying every day,
and it's oh-so exhausting.

imagine an enemy,
only you can see—

man vs. self,
back to the basics
of healing and discovery.

fighting the bad thoughts,
just to get another day.

so tired and over it,
i gotta claw my way out,

or i'll never truly be set free.