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 Apr 4 Soulless
kevin
tell it a matrix
i finished sums of nanoscience
post calculus
award a job
learn a japan phd
he a past mentor
no name akira
lack a legend
get busy doe eyes in hair
thumper at the dumper aghora
no german expressionist
you stuck buck less in america
boring decorums
and a budget
out my pockets, not a chance
got the corruption
speech ruined in the deprivation
no applications
savant one tide
and no shores
still my employees
no comprehension the taxation
i'm where a money wanter
this style not funds for free
gotta qualify by mid terms
morning ink spent on cover ups
cover the body, body the works
crush my ******* skittish a fit
legal a damp leer
I want every word of mine
not to punch, but to touch quietly,
to invisibly reach another heart.

I don’t need to write
if my words have not been truly welcomed
it’s better they vanish in the air, into oblivion.

Too much pain has been
engraved like a tragic keepsake
on the map of human downfall.

Can I blame the destructive inner flames
for being a fixed part of existence?
No, I can’t! I couldn’t!

I absorb the marvelous juicy green depth
with blue skies and shining clouds,
such moving beauty
as a witness to personal struggle.

And I am still afraid of tears
of others’ screams,
and of my helplessness.
I don’t want to be too late to help,
to choose the wrong word,
the wrong path.

I wish when it comes to me
to be ready and calm
to open my eyes wide,
to freeze my fears,
and to act without doubt
with all my silent conviction.
little Billie badger joined a circus show
he just loved trapeze and longed to have a go
swinging two and fro flying with such ease
doing lots of  tricks and hanging by his knees

looking at the crowd on the ground below
flying like a bird putting on his show
enteraining people is all he long to do
a circus entertainer was his dream come true
i saw a little goat he was rather weird
he wore tinted glasses and multi colored beard
he looked like a hippy from all those yeas ago
if  he was or not i  really just dont know.

his beard it was funny with colors on his face
was he from this planet or from another place
then he started dancing getting in the grooves
a bit of rock n roll and some other moves.

he was having fun but i had to go
what time he finished dancing i will never know
When my time comes, the sky won’t part
No trumpet call, no softened heart
No hand will reach from realms above
No welcome steeped in light or love

I’ll close my eyes in shadowed grace
No pearly gates, no angel’s face
Just silence where the faithful tread
A nameless dark, a quiet dread

But you, my girl, you’ll rise one day
On wings that light the narrow way
You’ll leave behind this weary shore,
And step through heaven’s golden door

You’ll find the peace I never earned
The grace I lost, the path I spurned
Your soul will soar where I can’t go
Beyond the veil I’ll never know

And I will ache beyond the grave
A father lost, a heart too brave
Not for death, nor pain, nor hollow,
But for the one place I can’t follow

You’ll feel me in the winds that pass
A whisper through the morning grass
And though I’ll never reach your side,
Know that I still walk with your stride

I watch you bloom, I guard your days
I fold your moments into praise
Your voice, your smile, your fearless run
You are my earth, my moon, my sun

So go, when time at last does call
Climb to light, release it all
And if they ask of who you knew,
Say, “He couldn’t come, but he loved me true”
 Apr 4 Soulless
kevin
when hates been said
and the redo
calls halo
no new to the refused
all nana's ink did was
well, up in the morning
getting to work
takes one sit up
from straight ends of pavement
take it back witch you
spinderella still my appointment
books open
got defenders, poor ya
have a pawn
Just sneezing
and wheezing
and easing into
old age

*******
I should be enraged
but
I'm quite comfortable
and
getting comfortable
in
my easy chair.

Is it fair?
do fish fornicate?
are buses often late?
do I fukin care?
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