last night,
I realized something.
I can still remember the first time I came across,
self harm.
suicide.
it was a movie.
'cyber bully'
I was 13 years old.
I remember the song,
playing during the scene
'breath me' Sia.
I remember looking up,
self harm that very night.
getting all these terrible ideas.
I'll admit,
at first I used it for attention.
but, not in the way you may think.
I craved my fathers attention.
so, I cut.
deeper and deeper.
till it became an addiction.
a release.
I felt control for once.
but,
one night my sister walked in on me,
cutting.
that was the moment I decided.
what I'm doing is wrong.
so, I tired and tried.
to over come my addiction.
I wanted to show her that,
it's alright to have rough times.
but, it's all about overcoming them.
being stronger than you may believe you are.
I did it for her.
it took a year and I half.
one step forward two steps back.
but, I did it.
and now, I'm proud.
I'm proud of who I am.
I no longer feel ashamed.
I over came my battle.
and, I've finally came to a conclusion.
that I'd like to share my story.
for all those going threw,
rough times.
to show them, things are possible.
believe in yourself.
dear anyone who may be struggling with self harm and or suicide I'm always here to listen. always. stay strong. it may sound cliche, but thing will be better in the end. and just remember if things aren't better than its not the end.
xoxo Lia