It's the hardest thing to admit.
To face facts and contemplate on turning off the switch.
Every time I come close, something inside me says stop.
Which just leads to inevitable loss.
Because getting a taste of friendship without expectations, actually leads to me expecting we'd have that forever.
But these feelings don't come easily.
It took so much of me.
And I fumbled, and I faught,
Which caused you to flee.
I hoped for more.
I hoped that you'd be the ocean to my shore.
Always being the rush of current, guiding me to steady ground.
And I know
I know I have that for myself.
Epitomes and ****.
I wish it wasn't so easy for you to quit.
I'm capable of being my own sound.
I'll always wear my jagged crown.
Maybe I saw someone who wasn't afraid to get splinters while tearing through the thorns around my throne.
Feeling is just not a good feeling to me.
Because I was destroyed by the same fluttering.
And that was bad, but this is worse.
Because the destruction came in other ways, but I knew that there was something else.
And the constant question on my mind, is if you ever even cared at all?
And wondering if I even knew the real you.
Why is it always that the one person we don't want to even think about, we can't stop writing about?
I guess it's just finally time to say enough is enough.
The wondering feeling is torture.
It's rough.
I guess here's to hoping I have the strength to give up.
I guess it's true what they say, the thing worth holding onto wouldn't have let go in the first place.