I think I might be broken,
Now I know that seems strange,
But I'm loosing all my colour,
And everythings turning grey.

My life used to be in subtle pastels,
Some friends faces would glow gold,
But now everyone seems washed out,
Like it's just a side effect of growing old.

My sisters all shine a grieving red,
My Mother a drowning blue,
My Grandparents colours seem to have fled,
Like maybe they're washed out too.

The green grass I live on is quickly turning yellow,
The brown leaves of dying tree's remind me of loss,
As the bright and excitable gradually turn mellow,
Isn't it a shame what "Just existing costs?"

Out of control,
My minds got a voice.
I can't console my memories,
And I haven't got a choice.
This world is not my destiny.
I don't understand,
How can you have me so securely in the palm of your hand?

My pathways are in construction,
I'm lost and it's dark.
So how do you remember the directions leading straight to my heart?

My blood won't clot,
My scars won't heal,
Tell me now do you understand,
Exactly how I feel?

If emotions were physical things,
Mine would be a gaping wound.

The inevitability of you is astounding,
You're a pretty flower nobody can help but pick.
But there are many snakes in this garden,
So please be cautious.

I've heard your laughter windswept across the sea front,
Many a brave sailor has come to visit you.
You're a rare catch,
Nobody can help but fish for.

I've seen thunderstroms in your eyes,
As birds swoop past to escape your wrath.
You're an off the richter scale earthquake,
Nobody can forget.

The vulnerability of you is astounding,
You're a thistle nobody can cut back.
Many people have come to **** your garden,
So I am being cautious.

He told me that he loved me,
And I believed his lie.
Then every time he kissed me,
I felt a part of my heart die.
Trapped to a land corrupt,
He had me bound in chains.
Why did I believe you,
When you said you changed?

We danced in my kitchen one winter evening,
Moving in strange timings which didn’t quite go with the song,
But I remember that wide grin on your face glowing,
As you spun round and round.

The hot tea we had made was going cold,
But we didn’t care,
Because we just snuggled under blankets,
And our love was all the warmth we needed.

I cried eggshells out my eyes last night,
And they lay broken on the floor.

I’ve learnt to catch a few in the palms of my hands,
Cause if I don’t it makes peoples feet sore.

These butterflies in my stomach,
They're starting to kick.
These emotions are hard to swim through,
The waters far to foggy and stiflingly deep.

You tell me that you love him,
But you don’t even know his name.
You obsess over his nature,
Whilst damaging his delicate frame.

Catastrophes your forte,
And it seems a real shame,
When you love someone so much,
That you bound them in chains.

Haunting every moment,
The plague of you is there.
It’s in the way they speak the way they walk,
Almost like you’re in their hair.

Directing every breath,
You catch their souls bare.
You think that you are loving,
But you’re causing them despair.

I can feel it in my bones,
Heavy burdens to carry.
I can taste it on my tongue,
Different cultures to marry.
I can hear it in my ears,
Foreign words being spoken.
I can see it in my eyes,
The land of the dead and broken.
I can smell it through my nose,
The incense stick lighting.
I can sense it in my stomach,
The start of the rioting.
My brain is getting misty,
It's numb and it's quick,
But when the knife cut my throat,
I didn't feel a thing.

It's been snowing where I live,
Which is absolutely fine,
Weather is a woman you do not mess with,
She does things in her own time.

But Weather, My boots aren't very warm,
And I'm getting chilblains on my toes,
So it would be nice if you could send a tropical storm,
Cause I'm tired of skiing down the road.

And I can't get to half of my friends,
As the bus I catch goes to turn right and slides left,
I try to walk but the ice leaves me stumbling,
Plus being clumsy, with my feet I am not deft.

Now Weather, Your moods always seem erratic,
One minute it's raining then the next it's dry,
And half the time when we ask for a bit of sun,
Your face turns to an expression quite wry.

I enjoy the snow, I do!
Your Daughter Winter is a lovely girl to meet,
But I think I'd enjoy her company an awful lot more,
If she didn't give me cold feet.

Her smiles are bitter sweet,
Because she's not just anyone you'd meet.
Her knowledge of this is so refined,
That you wouldn't dare waste her time.

She's got places to go and people to see,
So why would she stay with you aimlessly?
Whilst she's living the dream you're stuck at home,
Listening to the ramble of a hypocrite down the phone.

Remember two peoples life's are different things,
So don't cling to them like hook and loop fastening,
Live your life explore the world!
Because it's much better than waiting for her to return.

Famous people with their famous faces,
Famous laughs and famous disgraces.
Famous people with famous lungs,
Famous eyes and famous tongues.
Famous people and their famous opinions.
Famous people inspiring millions.
Famous hearts and famous hands,
Famous people I'll never understand.

I saw your hand in her hand,
And on that day I knew,
I could never confess my feelings,
As my eyes spilled tears of blue.

Those shoes have got pizzazz,
It's true as it's told,
Their sparkling glitter vibrant colours,
A thousand questions old.

That shirt is very busy,
Busier than most,
Destroyed by hurried businessman,
Spilling tea and toast.

These trousers are a tight fit,
squeezing in the gore,
Of sugar, chocolate, donuts,
With a million calories more.

Your eyes are very dull,
Their tired and their red,
Like the judgement of a few strangers,
Fills your heart with dread.

Your mind is very lonely,
A desolate place to be,
For if you never loose control of your inhibitions,
You'll never truly be free.

Are you trying to make me ill?
Because this is a recipe for disaster,
When I can plaster on a smile at will,
Is it understanding that you're after?

You comment on my weight,
But you cannot control my way of being.
Yet, my lungs still deflate,
And the the blood from my heart starts weeping.

Perhaps we were to switch places,
You were I and I were you,
Then maybe you'd understand all the faces,
I have to wear in front of you.

All these insignificant rambles,
They seem to come out in loops.
I've got thousands of ideas on scruffy paper,
Just incase you want some proof.

This book I'm writing has no reason,
It's not even the depressive season,
But these rambles always swarm back.

You gave me a friendship bracelet,
And I didn't quite know what to do.
So I just put it on my wrist,
Then wore it everyday for you.

Your laughter is contagious,
Much like a yawn,
That we barely ever do,
Because when we're together there's a storm.

You're going to university soon,
But we'll always keep in touch,
And I'll let you know in every way,
That I miss you very much.

Remember that time I slept round your house,
And let out that enormous ****?
Yeah, That never fails to amuse me,
Just like you'll always be in my heart.

How can you love me?
When I look like this.
I've got spots on my body,
And stretch marks on my hips.

How can you find me attractive?
When my stomach sticks out.
I haven't got a thigh gap,
And I don't know how to pout.

What do you find so compelling?
There's nothing much here.
I'm just a tired brain,
Suffocated in fear.

I told you you should leave her,
Because she always makes you cry,
But you constantly forgave her,
And I always asked you why?

When she abuses you mentally,
And acuses you of things,
That you'd never dare to do,
Because you're scared her slaps will sting.

I told you you should leave her,
Because she only causes you pain,
But yet you still waited an hour for her,
Soaking in the rain.

When she says you're being unfaithful,
But all you did was hug a friend,
As she glares at those who could save you,
From her bitter and tormented end.

I told you you should leave her,
Because I've seen your eyes glisten,
With the tears that she has caused,
Like she's on a ******* mission.

And the poison she has left,
Left inside your mind,
Have told you you are nothing,
That you're bitter and unkind.

I told you you should leave her,
Because she's breaking your heart,
And you're leaving a trail of pieces,
As you fall apart.

And I've put you back together,
So many ******* times,
When I asked if you were ok,
And you just smiled and said you were fine.

But you're never fine,
When you're within her grasp,
Because that evil witch,
Was hurting you from the start.

This house will always be messy,
There's no denying that.
Be careful the socks might bite you,
And no I didn't mean the cat.

Do you believe in ghosts?
Because I swear I’ve seen your eyes before.
And your laugh haunts my ear drums,
Cutting my heart up raw.

This house is built for Phantoms,
No one can get over things,
Always bringing up memories,
That make my old scars sting.

And the faces I remember,
Never seem to look the same,
They appear gaunt and tired.
As if they’ve been consumed by shame.

Your history will follow you,
No matter how long you last,
Just make sure you remember,
You can never truly escape the past.

My mind used to be a beautiful place,
One where you could go,
And sit upon the green hill,
With grass tickling your toes.

In winter you could sit inside a warm cabin,
Away from all the snow.
You could have hot chocolate and marshmallows,
A place where only love grows.

But now the cabin has been vandalised,
Windows smashed and rocks thrown,
And the grass has died into soil,
Leaving mud stains on your clothes.

This place of beauty that once belonged,
Has been deserted and dried up,
And all the birds sing sad songs,
About how the earth had had enough.

Tell me the truth,
Just the reason you left.
Because I've never been sure,
I've heard you committed adultery,
But how can I know that's true,
I was still in my Mothers womb when you left.
When you ran,
Into the arms of the ***** that  caused this war.

I'm trying to loose weight,
But I look in the kitchen,
And there's cake,
And a biscuit tin.

I can't seem to write poems anymore,
Even though I'm up at 4 AM,
Notepad ready and ballpoint pen.

But nothing seems to spring to mind,
Except for the thought that I'm wasting my time.

I can't seem to write poems anymore,
My creativity has been forgotten and my mind sore.

But nothing seems to be working,
And everyday I find,
The most horrible and degrading thoughts,
Lurking in my mind.

Why are you so angry?
I've never understood,
This heart of sweet intentions,
Left bruised and of no good.

The songs we sing do not please you,
Because you do not seem to care.
Everything is over-commercialized,
As you run a strained hand through your hair.

It's always possible I find,
To try your best to be kind.

And if somebody among you is mean,
Do not fall down to their scene.

You're better than bitter resent,
Even if it's not how they meant.

Do not fall for their trick,
Dodge those nasty words quick!,

Because it's always possible I find,
To try your best to be kind.

Let me be the outcast,
Change me into something new,
Because I swear there’s not enough of me,
To make up all of you you.
Control my mind and eyes,
Even My sense of style,
For a while change my impression,
Make me seem all the more,
Important and mature,
But as I am only sixteen I will stay,
I’ll have to wait for that day.

You see love and I have never really been friends,
I mean we'd wave awkwardly to eachother,
Through mutual pretence,
But that's about it.

We'd make awkward eye contact on the train,
Then ignore eachothers existence,
As if it was simple and plain,
But nothing more than that.

To be honest with you,
Love and I barely know eachother,
Well I mean I think I know a few of their lovers,
But nobody that's stuck around for long enough.

And the problem with love,
Is when you go to shake their hand,
You've got everything you want to say planned,
But it all falls down and shatters at your feet.

Just like everytime,
My heart skips a beat,
Whenever my eyes are left in your wake.

I see humans but no humanity.
You tell me you're sane but where is your sanity?
Using people as you shout profanities,
Is this how the world's going to end?

I was annoyed.
No not annoyed at you,
I was angry and frustrated,
At all the things you do.

Your ignorance towards feelings,
Oblivious to the fact,
That you and you alone,
Are an absolute ****.

My heart is weak and you ran at it with an axe.
Like you couldn’t differentiate between laughter and screaming.
The tears that fell weren’t happy.
Just like the love you represented wasn’t real.

I know friends are meant to be always be by your side,
But how can I be friends with a wounded pride?

You take and take and take,
Then never give back.
The amount of times your words have cut me,
And my bloods bled black.

You're never there when I need you,
But you need me all the time,
So I just have bite my tongue,
Everytime you tell me I'm fine.

When your head is heavy,
Your heartbeat gradually calming down.
As your eyelids slowly drop shut,
Your breath steady with the rise and fall of your chest.

Your bed is comfort,
Relaxing asleep,
Nothing can harm you,
As you count sheep.

One, Two, Three, Four,
You can't get to five before your mind is absorbed.
Up in the clouds,
Away with the fairies.

But then things start to turn scary.
With the flutter of your eyelids,
Tremor of your hands,
You're awake now,
The one thing you can't stand.

Then all you hear are the monsters whisper in your ear,
"You're awake, You're awake, You're awake."

She and He flirt all the time,
Over the group chat wasting pick up lines.
But what She does not know is He had me first.
I was the main course and she is dessert.

It's 2:55 and my mind is screaming,
It's 2:56 and I should be dreaming,
It's 2:57 and I'm still awake,
It's 2:58 for goodness sake.

When everything is numb,
And you can't comprehend,
The difference between your worst enemies and your best friend.

Who is "You?"
Who could "You" be?
Could "You" be a loved one?
Could "You" be me?

What is the purpose of "You?"
Are they intertwined and underlined in everything "You" do?
I mean obviously it's down to chance,
Coincidence and circumstance,
But what does "You" mean?

They arrive pristine only to please themselves.
Is "You" in good health?
I haven't said,
But now "You" is in your head,
Just like they were in mine before.

This  paralysis is scary,
And I don't know what to do.

It's like my heart is a free wild forest,
And my mind contains me like a Zoo.

I'm so grateful,
For the place I call home,
With the friends I will cherish,
and a room to call my own.

For the arguments we've had,
Then the calm after the storm,
For the apologies we muttered,
When a brand new love was born.

For the rain that used to patter,
Leaking on our windowsill,
For all the laughter and the chatter,
Knowing life could only go up hill.

I just feel numb.
Which is strange for me,
Because usually I'm buzzing off caffeine,
By at least half past three.

It's like the world has come to a stop.
No longer revolving round,
And everyone's just given up.
Abandoned this tiny town.

Your tongue is like a knife,
Cutting at my skin.
So how do they expect me to defend myself?
When the blade is sinking in.

What is "Romance?"
Because to be honest I'm not quite sure.
Is it the shape of the clouds?
Or something a little bit more?

I've done some research,
But all I have found,
Is that love starts to kick you,
Once you fall down.

"A triumph of wit and virtue".
That's just a lie,
Because I've broken my wings,
So how can I fly?

Waiting at the corner,
For you to notice me.
My hope hits the ground,
Like an Autumn leaf from a tree.

I check my watch and notice,
An hour has passed.
I guess that's all it takes,
To thoroughly smash my heart.

Sitting home alone,
In my Grandads old chair,
A bird feather on his hat,
and pipe smoke in the air.

His fake teeth so white,
Like some pearls from out at sea,
And his humour so silly,
He'd make a clown out of me.

Sitting home alone,
In my Grandads old chair,
dog treats on the table,
And gel in his hair.

OCD plagues him,
so you cannot move his things,
Listening to an old vinyl,
Loading the dishwasher whilst he sings.

Well Adam says to Eve,
"You're made from one of my ribs".
She's says "Nah, Now you're telling fibs".

Tell me I'm not crazy,
Tell me I'm sane.

Oh, but maybe,
You're the one dissecting my brain?