He's just starting to lose control

He's been through all this before

And all the weight on his shoulders

Is starting to take its toll

Where has the light at the end of the tunnel gone

I thought that drowning myself in tears was supposed to help

But one thing is lifted to be replaced by another

What happened, to depending on each other

You are supposed to be my lover

But now I find myself taking everything on alone

Now everything is starting to go wrong
And I'm not sure I can keep moving
When I'm stuck in this circle of emotion
Whats going around keeps coming back around.
Where does this all stop, Where does it end?
Because I'm starting to think,
I'm trapped within myself
nothing really seems to help
Everything that I used to do
to pull my self through
Just doesn't seem to agree with me, anymore.
I've tried to keep writing
Doesn't seem to be working
Soon I'll just start disappearing
No one around me is hearing my call
No one is left to break my fall
Guess I'm caving in tonight
Guess I'll have to do it on my own this time

©2017 Written By Benji James

I ain't no superhero
looking for a fight to win
But I'll try to ease your suffering
I ain't no superhero
flying around town
looking for problems
to take on
But I'll try to ease your suffering

It's all the little things
that makes you complete
It's all the little things
that make ends meet
It's all the little things
(Yeah, Yeah)

Can I take your pain away?
Can I take your pain away?
Hold on hope, hold on hope
why my heart bleeds for you.
All that I can do
is take this pain from you.
Oh give me the time
give me some light
to show you everything
is going to be alright

It's all the little things
that makes you complete
It's all the little things
that make ends meet
It's all the little things
(Yeah, Yeah)

Let the glitter cease the skies
while we watch the sunrise
so put your hand in mine
move closer to me,
while we make a sweet memory.
Sweetheart I'll never let you fall apart,
Sweetheart I'll never let you fall apart.
And we will live this life
Until we reach the end of time.
Will let the glitter cease the skies
while we watch the sunrise

It's all the little things
that makes you complete
It's all the little things
that make ends meet
It's all the little things
(Yeah, Yeah)

No regrets, so reach out your hands
we have no regrets
so reach out your hands
Oh come on, come and grab on
We will pick ourselves back up
every time we fall down
I ain't no superhero flying around town
So baby come on, reach out your arms
And I'll take you by the hand
as we try to make all the little things
make ends meet
I'll try and ease your suffering

It's all the little things
that makes you complete
It's all the little things
that make ends meet
It's all the little things
(Yeah, Yeah)

©2017 Written By Benji James

I can't stop my heart from aching
You're the one who stops it from breaking
My soul is yours for the taking
If you can keep me from fading
Away into the blackness of yesterday

I'm still trying to clear my conscience

I know you stored hope into your pocket

You're the one who keeps me 
from exploding like a rocket

It's amazing how you can stand by me

Girl, I can see it crystal clear

You'll always be here
No matter what I throw at you
No matter what we're going through
It's things like that, that make me think back
and realise everything is gonna be just fine.

©2017 Written By Benji James

Hello misses Aphrodite
Oh yeah,
That girl is a goddess to me
(To me)
That girl is a goddess to me
She comes to me in
flesh and blood
The most beautiful girl
to deceive this heart
Nothing ever comes for free
But this girl
Just stole my heart from me

Oh your beauty is undeniable
The way you touch me
Is indescribable
I think I'm in
For the ride of my life
The flame that burns deep
Inside grows brighter
Every time our lips collide

Hey there misses
super model
Think I've just been hit by
Cupids arrow
Make no mistake
I want you
I wanna take you higher
Then you've ever been
Just relax yourself
And let me in
Together let's take this
Opportunity to spread
Our angel wings

Oh your beauty is undeniable
The way you touch me
Is indescribable
I think I'm in
For the ride of my life
The flame that burns deep
Inside grow brighter
Every time our lips collide

The stars shine bright
In the evening sky
As our passion for each other
Fire ignites
And will blow this earth away
Just like dynamite
As soon as our chemical
Love sparks fly

Hello misses Aphrodite
Oh yeah,
That girl is a goddess to me
(To me)
That girl is a goddess to me
She comes to me in
flesh and blood
The most beautiful girl
to deceive this heart
Nothing ever comes for free
But this girl
Just stole my heart from me

©2017 Written By Benji James

Met her up in the club
Drinking her pineapple schnapps
I took a chance,
asked her for a dance, she said yes
So I said take my hand

from the moment we met

I just knew we would connect

Felt the sparks fly

between you and I

She gives me that electrical feel

Shocked to the heart 

The blood rush starts

One taste of her strawberry kiss

From her red cherry coloured lips

To the sweet caress from her fingertips 

It had me feeling like this.

I love every little thing about you
I love every little thing that you do
(You know it)
I want your loving
Yeah, baby, it's true (You know it)
I can't get you off of my mind girl
(You know it, you know it)

Come and get on it
I want it (You know that I do)
Your bubble gum tongue
Your passion, your love
The connection we feel (So surreal)
Come on get on it.
We want it, I see that you do
(I know you're feeling it too) Girl

It's the way that we sweat
In the passion, in ***
Out of breath
By the end
Fall asleep in your bed
Her head on my chest
You know that feeling
It's the best,

I love every little thing about you
I love every little thing that you do
(You know it)
I want your loving
Yeah, baby, it's true (You know it)
I can't get you off of my mind girl
(You know it, you know it)

Come and get on it
I want it (You know that I do)
Your bubble gum tongue
Your passion, your love
The connection we feel (So surreal)
Come on get on it.
We want it, I see that you do
(I know you're feeling it too) Girl

She likes it when,
I run my fingers through her hair
I see your feeling the attraction we share
Yeah we both feel it there
I can feel your body heat on mine
Yeah you know that's something I like
You know you got the look girl
You know you got me, hooked girl
You know we got it, good girl
Couldn't have made it any better
If I threw a wishing stone
Into a wishing well
She knows we got it good and,

I love every little thing about you
I love every little thing that you do
(You know it)
I want your loving
Yeah, baby, it's true (You know it)
I can't get you off of my mind girl
(You know it, you know it)

Come and get on it
I want it (You know that I do)
Your bubble gum tongue
Your passion, your love
The connection we feel (So surreal)
Come on get on it.
We want it, I see that you do
(I know you're feeling it too) Girl

©2017 Written By Benji James

I'm done with living in the dark
I'm done with all these razor blade scars
No more depression pills
It's time to turn this life around
Yeah I'm homeward bound
Time to lift up and change my sound
I'm done with depressing lyrics
I'm done with being the victim
When I'm the one who put myself in that position
Yeah memories can stay in the past
Right where they belong
I'm singing a brand new song
Hope you're all willing to come along

©2017 Written By Benji James

I've been waging a war against hate
How was I to know this would be my fate
Open the doors to heaven’s gate
But more like I’ll be drenched in acid rain
And who the **** am I to complain?
It gives me the drive to make a name
I keep on swinging back
when I hit, I hit like a train
don’t need drugs to stimulate my brain
I've been walking around dragging a ball and chain
And I’d never been the guy that could just shoot to fame
I’m too caught up in my own ways
Arguing with myself for days upon days
I’m just nothing like those Jay’s and Kanye’s

This is my function
Can’t stop this blood rush and
I’ll always come up with something
To knock these trolls back down
Stepping up to the platform now
10 Feet above the ground
I rock these coliseums
I’ll break them down
I’m unstoppable
When my heads up in the clouds

A lot of people thought I lost my confidence
But isn't it a coincidence
that they believe in every word that I say
I know I wouldn't trust me.
if I was someone else.
Just don’t let that secret out
To the people who want to bring me down
And that’s nearly everybody in the crowd
They're trying to drown me out
No, I won’t stand for this
I’m cranking up the volume
Screaming through this microphone
You’ll never take me out
So shut your mouth

This is my function
Can’t stop this blood rush and
I’ll always come up with something
To knock these trolls back down
Stepping up to the platform now
10 Feet above the ground
I rock these coliseums
I’ll break them down
I’m unstoppable
When my heads up in the clouds

©2017 Written By Benji James

Man, why are you playing with her heart?
Why'd you had to go tear everything apart?
Yeah man I still got your back
but can't you see that she's aching?
Her heart wasn't meant for breaking

You're so consumed by the drugs you're taking

Can't you see you need saving

I tried to give you everything I had

But now everything has just turned bad

Your ringing up your ex, telling her your sad

But how can you tell her about the new girl

Can't you see this ***** is breaking you to pieces?

Believe me, man, I see it

And this may be a little hard to take

But I am just trying to protect you and her mate

You can tell me that I'm talking ****

But I'd bleed for both of you **** it

Can't you see that I'm throwing myself on the line

Don't tell me I'm crossing the red line

Because I'm so lost in my mind

It's so hard to describe what I'm feeling inside

Watching you be ripped apart by all this

**** it's starting to break me down

Everything is crumbling to the ground

So where do we both stand now?

©2017 Written By Benji James

I used to think I had the power
Thought I could have been her man of the hour
And how can I keep holding my head in my hands
Thinking where did what we had end
All I say doesn't seem to make sense
Unless you're a person who has been where I am
I used to feel like a soldier
I used to be her shoulder
I could weigh all the hate in my hands
But lately, I don't feel like much of a man
When all these little things are ripping at me
All the smallest things won't give me a break
Maybe I just need to get away
Not sure if I have what it takes
To catch the glass before it breaks
But I can't surrender to the mess
Even though it has me caught in chains
Soon I'll prove I can stand before who I am
Even though I couldn't bare this reflection before
You gotta love and believe in yourself
Before you can truly love somebody else.

©2017 Written By Benji James

VERSE ONE
This conversation is getting harder to maintain
When you're finding every excuse to push me away
And you say that's what you do
Girl, I wanna be the one for you

I don't want to give up

Even though you say I should

I just couldn't live that down

If I just walked out

I know you're hurting 

From past memories

Let me help you heal

Let me help you recover

I want to be there for one another

You're shy and awkward
But you're so cute
And there is so much more to you
We have a lot in common
You're the perfect piece
That fits me
But something in you
Won't give a chance to me

You got your point across
You push away everyone
Everyone that cares
You didn't want me
But the weakness in me
Won't give you up
That's why I'm looking at pictures of you
Don't leave me
Dreaming what could have been
Dreaming what could have been

Baby have a little hope
Hold a little faith
I don't ever want to walk away
I wanna be the one
Who looks you in the eyes
When we wake up
The one who kisses you goodnight
The shoulder you lean on
When you need to cry
The photo memories when you smile
I wanna be that guy
The one that sees you
Without your make up
The one you feel comfortable with the most
I wanna be that guy

You're shy and awkward
But you're so cute
And there is so much more to you
We have a lot in common
You're the perfect piece
That fits me
But something in you
Won't give a chance to me

You got your point across
You push away everyone
Everyone that cares
You didn't want me
But the weakness in me
Won't give you up
That's why I'm looking at pictures of you
Don't leave me
Dreaming what could have been
Dreaming what could have been

Yeah girl let me serenade you
With these songs
Open up let me into your heart
Tell me all the troubles on your mind
Let me make them mine
Let our lives be intertwined
Let your heart guide you way
Into my arms where you can stay
Where you can feel completely safe
Let me take you around the world
With me girl from London to L.A.
So long as I'm with you
That's all I wanna do
Be the one who falls for you
Yeah I'm in love with you

You're shy and awkward
But you're so cute
And there is so much more to you
We have a lot in common
You're the perfect piece
That fits me
But something in you
Won't give a chance to me

You got your point across
You push away everyone
Everyone that cares
You didn't want me
But the weakness in me
Won't give you up
That's why I'm looking at pictures of you
Oh Ashley,
Don't leave me
Dreaming what could have been
Dreaming what could have been

©2017 Written By Benji James

I've lost all sense of concentration
I'll never reach my destination
How can so much devastation
Be caused by such a beautiful creation
So here it is, here is the situation

I'm the one everyone's supposed to rely on

I'm supposed to be bullet proof

But there are so many wounds

From all these penetrated blades

And I'm losing myself 

They call me mental case

I'm supposed to be the one who's brave

But I need someone here, I need you to stay

Because I've started to lose my way

I don't wanna fall, I wanna be okay

But these antibiotics just won't kick in

So won't you take my hand?

I've never wanted to be the trend

Right now I just need a friend

That can really understand 

All that I am

And give me all that they can

Before I crash from going too fast round the bend 

Reckless is an understatement 

Compared to where I'm at now

And the only one who can save me is too far away 

Maybe she's the reason 

My mind is playing these games

And all this thinking is hurting my brain

Ever since we met

Ever since she left

I've never been the same 

Isn't it a shame

I'm never gonna be the same

Isn't it a shame

That you are the one to blame.

©2017 Written By Benji James

After dark, we come out to play
into the park for some fun and games
beneath the shining night sky
we'll lay on the grass
talking to friends about our lives
the memories that we all shared
and about the times we really cared

After hours is when the party begins
will start by drinking
underneath these lit up buildings
until we start dancing in the moonlight
come over here and we'll slow dance
in this modern romance
to the songs that play on the car radio
and when our eyes meet, I'm gonna kiss you

Come one, come all, to this lovers affair
where we'll all be kissing in the night atmosphere
I'll hold your hand until the night ends
Lover this is our chance
We are all alone now
We can start making out
Into the dark of the night
I'll rip off your dress
and we can make love
start out slow, until it gets rough
The body heat will keep us warm
do you feel my heart beating next to yours
underneath the starry sky will make love
I'll be with you until the sun comes up

After hours is when the party begins
will start by drinking
underneath these lit up buildings
until we start dancing in the moonlight
come over here and we'll slow dance
in this modern romance
to the songs that play on the car radio
and when our eyes meet, I'm gonna kiss you

There was a girl standing by the fountain
Thought to myself I'd want to kiss this girl
When I walked over she smiled and slurred
come back to my apartment, it's after hours
We could do so much like kiss and hug
she starts rubbin'
I stroke her hair
rest my hands on the back of her neck
kiss her until we fall onto the bed
She's taking off my shirt  and jeans
I'm slowly undoing her dress
you can already guess the rest
We'll get together and have ***

After hours is when the party begins
will start by drinking
underneath these lit up buildings
until we start dancing in the moonlight
come over here and we'll slow dance
in this modern romance
to the songs that play on the car radio
and when our eyes meet, I'm gonna kiss you

©2017 Written By Benji James

I’ve given this girl too much power
When thinking of you, minutes turn into hours
And it isn't fair cuz,
I can't date anybody else

I would just never be able to forgive myself

And I don't care if people couldn't care less

I care cuz I know how much I'm in love 

And every day I struggle for us

And I strive so hard

Here's my heart in a jar

I just want you there's nobody else

Because baby you're the only one I feel for

And baby you're the one I wanna call

Only for you, I will fall.

©2017 Written By Benji James

Looks like a good day
To stay in bed
Alarms waking me up again
Feels like a good day
To stay in bed
Throw the phone across the room
That's when the home phone rings
*******, can't seem to catch a break
Guess things ain't gonna go my way

Trying to make the most of each moment,
Trying to stay positive and not lose hope
Kicked my toe, on the bed corner
**** hurts like hell
Bad luck streaks building up again
This has to change sometime soon
They say good things will come to you
The longer you wait,
the bigger the reward
Starting to think those people are all talk
Not sure where they picked up that thought

Looks like a good day
To stay in bed
Alarms waking me up again
Feels like a good day
To stay in bed
Throw the phone across the room
That's when the home phone rings
*******, can't seem to catch a break
Guess things ain't gonna go my way

Lost all sense of social skill
Can't chill, can't keep it real
Trying to find the light
Amongst all this dark
Trying to find something
To spark this broken heart
Nothing seems to go to plan
Keep trying to improve myself and
become a better man
Insecurities are getting the better of me again

Looks like a good day
To stay in bed
Alarms waking me up again
Feels like a good day
To stay in bed
Throw the phone across the room
That's when the home phone rings
*******, can't seem to catch a break
Guess things ain't gonna go my way

Feels like I'm wishing
On broken mirrors
Life really kicks you
When your down
Thought there wasn't anything lower than the ground
It seems I've found a deeper ditch
Sometimes life makes you its *****
And you get fed up with all this ****
And all you can think
Yeah all you wanna do
Is sleep the whole day through

Looks like a good day
To stay in bed
Alarms waking me up again
Feels like a good day
To stay in bed
Throw the phone across the room
That's when the home phone rings
*******, can't seem to catch a break
Guess things ain't gonna go my way

©2017 Written By Benji James

I'm in a bit of a muddle
Just had a stumble
lost my shoe in a puddle
This is my life in the struggle
Enough to make you crumble
Bruised knees, torn jeans
Everyone that's seen
Now is laughing at me
Can't escape this embarrassment
It follows my every step

It's just not my day
Look on the bright side
It can't get worse
Sometimes that's the way
The world turns
Thought I was blessed
Maybe I'm cursed
Think it just got worse

Just tripped in a ditch
Into the arms of a **** chick
Knocked her ice cream out of her hands
Now I wish I was dead
It feels like the end
Her ice cream landed
Straight into my face
She slapped me
Then started screaming at me
Telling me to watch where I'm going
What a metal case
This just isn't my day

It's just not my day
Look on the bright side
It can't get worse
Sometimes that's the way
The world turns
Thought I was blessed
Maybe I'm cursed
Think it just got worse

Someone just ran past
And pulled down my pants
It even dragged down my underwear
Now I never want to show my face again
Everyone wouldn't stop staring
This is the moment everybody dreads
Can't believe it just happened
Why does this always happen to me
Can't this **** just leave me be

It's just not my day
Look on the bright side
It can't get worse
Sometimes that's the way
The world turns
Thought I was blessed
Maybe I'm cursed
Think it just got worse

©2017 Written By Benji James

Let me invite you in
Open up show you everything 

Every regret that hits 

Tears apart my heart strings

Yeah let's begin

With this girl, I once met

Told her she was beautiful then and there 

Till I found out she had a boyfriend

That didn't stop me from trying to keep advancing

Got a little weakness 

For a pretty face

And I just wish to know

The way her kiss tastes

Eh I just wanna be that guy

That takes her breath away

Yeah Sharnie
Do you remember me?
Am I that regret that you met
That turned your life inside out
I remember the look when we first laid eyes
I remember those butterflies inside
Yeah, girl, you made me nervous
But we seemed to hit it off
Should have been the one to know
That I would ***** it up
Oh Sharnie
Do you remember me?

Do you remember the day
I drove you home
Yeah God was I nervous
I made you smile
yeah I made you laugh
With my silly little lines
And the expressions that I made
When I looked your way
Wish I ended that trip with a kiss
Yeah, girl, I regret it,
just wasn't sure if you were ready yet
Plus you had a boyfriend

Yeah Sharnie
Do you remember me?
Am I that regret that you met
That turned your life inside out
I remember the look when we first laid eyes
I remember those butterflies inside
Yeah, girl, you made me nervous
But we seemed to hit it off
Should have been the one to know
That I would ***** it up
Oh Sharnie
Do you remember me?

This is where it all went wrong
This is where I messed up
I remember the message you sent
After I ignored your calls
You told me how you were kicked out
And left in the cold hard rain
With no one to turn to, your trust I betrayed
And if that wasn't enough
I remember walking you out from work
your boy came into pick you up
yeah we met face to face
and when I walked off
he pushed you to the ground
and when I found out
I wanted to knock his lights out

Yeah Sharnie
Do you remember me?
Am I that regret that you met
That turned your life inside out
I remember the look when we first laid eyes
I remember those butterflies inside
Yeah, girl, you made me nervous
But we seemed to hit it off
Should have been the one to know
That I would ***** it up
Oh Sharnie
Do you remember me?

©2017 Written By Benji James

Can't feel anything in my soul
Just the rattling in my bones
Nothing was big enough to fill this hole
Welcome to my story untold
Wait a little longer for it to unfold
These pills just aren't enough
To make me forget your love
And all the damage you've caused to my heart

I realise how much I miss you
But it's so hard to forgive you
And maybe I hurt you to
Can't we talk instead of argue?

Can't say anything in five seconds
Without you saying "Do you remember?"
Thought that was all in the past
But losers have always come last
Guess I just wasn't that fast
So I'll just reply with "I can't remember December."

This bottle of gin hasn't even lasted five minutes
Reminiscing in memories is driving me crazy
I'm haunted by the messages you're sending me lately
How can so much trouble come from one little lady
Oh, why are you taunting me, baby?

I realise how much I miss you
But it's so hard to forgive you
And maybe I hurt you to
Can't we talk instead of argue?

Can't say anything in five seconds
Without you saying "Do you remember?"
Thought that was all in the past
But losers have always come last
Guess I just wasn't that fast
So I'll just reply with "I can't remember December."

©2017 Written By Benji James

Hey, what are you waiting for?
Me to walk around with an 'S'
On my chest
Told you this boy will never fly again
You tore all the pieces of dignity
Out of me
You've changed all the colour
Into black and white
Tell me do you feel proud?
Knowing how you've trampled
Somebody into the ground
Tell me do you feel proud?
And no this isn't about the girls
It's about all the people who tear
So hard into me and my art
This is about killing off the rumours
You've gone and started on me
And don't you see?
How they have been killing me softly
Ruining my reputation
In amongst all the adulation
Of all the allegations.

Are you just gonna stand there?
Are you just gonna watch me fall?
Can't believe they just stood by
You didn't even reach out your hands
But every time I see you
I still lose it again and again and again
How could I forgive them so easily?
Why did they just stand there?
Tell me why
Oh tell me why
They just watched me fall.

Don't you hate it!
when everything seems to disappear
Don't you hate it!
That when what you hear is not what you said
Don't you hate it!
When everybody is speculating about something
They know nothing about
Oh god, I hate it!
When your betrayed by the one you trust
Oh god, I hate it!
When I see they've been spilling lies
Oh god, I hate it!
That it kills me on the inside
Oh don't you hate it
Oh don't you hate it

Right now you can feel all the trouble
Stirring inside of my mind
Right now you can see all the memories
Burning on the outside
Right now you can smell
All the fear in the air
Right now you can hear
My heart beating faster and faster
Oh what this is just a disaster
And it's escalating
This needs investigation
Oh these people just keep on interacting
I'm supposed to be the inspiration
And the downfall is just another speculation
Of human interference inside of my life
And I'm supposed to be so dedicated
To changing all the sceptics
Who believe all the lies
I am getting entrapped by my own creation
Somehow I went and lost the motivation
To keep fighting all the critics
All the ones who thought they knew the truth

Are you just gonna stand there?
Are you just gonna watch me fall?
Can't believe they just stood by
You didn't even reach out your hands
But every time I see you
I still lose it again and again and again
How could I forgive them so easily?
Why did they just stand there?
Tell me why
Oh tell me why
They just watched me fall.

Don't you hate it!
when everything seems to disappear
Don't you hate it!
That when what you hear is not what you said
Don't you hate it!
When everybody is speculating about something
They know nothing about
Oh god, I hate it!
When your betrayed by the one you trust
Oh god, I hate it!
When I see they've been spilling lies
Oh god, I hate it!
That it kills me on the inside
Oh don't you hate it
Oh don't you hate it

Oh note to self you've gotta keep standing up
You've got to push back the ones that start
To point the fingers at you
Say your the blame for all of this
Say your the one who lied and cheated
And you cry and feel so defeated
Especially when what's going around
Just ain't true.
All the rumours that have spread
Have started from nothing
It starts to show that it's taking its toll
Your trying to protect yourself
While trying to shield everybody else
Tell me how targeting people
Over the simple things
Like all the gossip
You hear through your job.
And it's just not what should go on
Oh feel the shame
Because soon your gonna feel the effects
Of what comes from the end of this.

Are you just gonna stand there?
Are you just gonna watch me fall?
Can't believe they just stood by
You didn't even reach out your hands
But every time I see you
I still lose it again and again and again
How could I forgive them so easily?
Why did they just stand there?
Tell me why
Oh tell me why
They just watched me fall.

Don't you hate it!
when everything seems to disappear
Don't you hate it!
That when what you hear is not what you said
Don't you hate it!
When everybody is speculating about something
They know nothing about
Oh god, I hate it!
When your betrayed by the one you trust
Oh god, I hate it!
When I see they've been spilling lies
Oh god, I hate it!
That it kills me on the inside
Oh don't you hate it
Oh don't you hate it

I've heard all the words they've said
They can't separate the facts from the lies
And that's why they've just crossed the line
Starting something they know nothing about
Just declared war, Those people know who they are
And there the ones who'll be taken down first
Because what goes around comes around
Karma's gonna strike you first
And there's is no need to pray and wish
Because everybody,
Oh, everybody, all ready knows this
Just hope the curse doesn't get worse
You should have just shut your mouth
Now we'll just have to wait and see
What things happen from here
Oh prepare for the fall
Because I can already here the karma call

Are you just gonna stand there?
Are you just gonna watch me fall?
Can't believe they just stood by
You didn't even reach out your hands
But every time I see you
I still lose it again and again and again
How could I forgive them so easily?
Why did they just stand there?
Tell me why
Oh tell me why
They just watched me fall.

Don't you hate it!
when everything seems to disappear
Don't you hate it!
That when what you hear is not what you said
Don't you hate it!
When everybody is speculating about something
They know nothing about
Oh god, I hate it!
When your betrayed by the one you trust
Oh god, I hate it!
When I see they've been spilling lies
Oh god, I hate it!
That it kills me on the inside
Oh don't you hate it
Oh don't you hate it

©2017 Written By Benji James

Just another year older
And the days grow colder
She still won't let me hold her
And it all comes down to the facts
It just seems to be how she reacts
And I couldn't careless
If I'd live or die

Because a life without you
Isn't what I wanna live
I know you've seen right through me
I'll just disappear into the shadows
Your hearts so full of doubt
I'm trapped in a hole and I can't get out

I'm lost in all you are
I'm losing my way
Walking into the wrong direction
Into your anger and perception
There is no need to mention
What you feel in this deception
I came to you and got corrected

Because a life without you
Isn't what I wanna live
I know you've seen right through me
I'll just disappear into the shadows
Your hearts so full of doubt
I'm trapped in a hole and I can't get out

All we had was a lie
There no way I can deny
It was all in my head
And in days I haven't slept
Because with you on my mind
How can I not think
will our two different worlds collide

Because a life without you
Isn't what I wanna live
I know you've seen right through me
I'll just disappear into the shadows
Your hearts so full of doubt
I'm trapped in a hole and I can't get out

©2017 Written By Benji James

Rainy nights, cloudy skies
Chasing me all through my life
This time I've just had enough
People always said when you get older
It'll get rough, But I didn't realise just how much
When childhood memories are all you've got
Every day your telling yourself you can't give up
You live each day the way you've been taught
And you placed your trust in the one you love
But no one is receiving your call
This time nobody's here to break your fall

It tears you apart
Every time you play this part
You'll never be a work of art
Nobody will ever see inside your heart
Oh sweetheart,
You'll never top this chart

Give me the morphine
So I can't feel a thing
Take some more sleeping pills
To get me through this
Just let me overdose
I've never been this close
Put me to sleep, Sleeping Beauty
I've taken my vows
It's time to make these lights go out

Lost within these dark nights
You used to be so starry-eyed
Now all you are is mystified
That everybody's gone and left you behind
At one stage you were cool
But now everybody's played you for the fool
Thought you were all in the game
But instead, you've lost your mind
For committing to this crime
Shouldn't have tried to steal her heart
Should have listened to yourself
From the start and just gave up.
Now look who's dealing with a broken heart

It tears you apart
Every time you play this part
You'll never be a work of art
Nobody will ever see inside your heart
Oh sweetheart,
You'll never top this chart

Give me the morphine
So I can't feel a thing
Take some more sleeping pills
To get me through this
Just let me overdose
I've never been this close
Put me to sleep, Sleeping Beauty
I've taken my vows
It's time to make these lights go out

You've been driven insane
From all the blood rushing to your brain
And you thought you could outrun this train
You've been hit by love
Cupid what have you done
I've been hoping, praying and wishing
That she was the one
I tried to follow the dove of love
It lead me somewhere
I never want to see again
It showed me a part of me
That I never want to feel baby

It tears you apart
Every time you play this part
You'll never be a work of art
Nobody will ever see inside your heart
Oh sweetheart,
You'll never top this chart

Give me the morphine
So I can't feel a thing
Take some more sleeping pills
To get me through this
Just let me overdose
I've never been this close
Put me to sleep, Sleeping Beauty
I've taken my vows
It's time to make these lights go out

©2017 Written By Benji James

Lyrics just aren't hitting
Like they should
Everything I've been doing
Just hasn't been that good
I'm losing faith
Too busy chasing girls
Putting dreams in the fire to burn
Why I try and find love only to get burned
When will I ever learn
I should put these dreams first
Just keep letting lines fly out the window
Like I'll remember that even though I don't
Thought I was killing it
Truth is no ones feeling this
And I've lost the connection
I once had, feel disconnected
It's all going bad

This is all I've ever wanted
And I keep on letting it go
Took my eye off the ball
And now I'm letting myself down
Keep trying to figure my life out
And I keep on falling into the same old traps
And when everything felt right
It just collapsed

I'm losing every line
That was in my mind
Thought everything I wanted
Was in my sight
Now I see that it's not
I've got work to do
Finally feel like I've got something to prove

Not gonna let another line
Just slip through the cracks
I want them to take notice
I want them to see the flame is still there
See I'm still striving for greatness
Come to far to turn back now
And if they don't take notice that's alright
I'll find something that will capture the mind
I have and I can
Sometimes I wonder if anyone understands
The things I'm going through
And the proof is in the words
that I write
This is the story of my life
Within the lines that I write
If you want to know me
It's right in front of your eyes
Always throwing my heart out on the line

This is all I've ever wanted
And I keep on letting it go
Took my eye off the ball
And now I'm letting myself down
Keep trying to figure my life out
And I keep on falling into the same old traps
And when everything felt right
It just collapsed

I'm losing every line
That was in my mind
Thought everything I wanted
Was in my sight
Now I see that it's not
I've got work to do
Finally feel like I've got something to prove

It's in these songs
That's where I belong
It's in the sentences
My emotions lie
It's in the way I write
It brings out the thoughts of my mind
It's the power it brings
It's the inspiration it gives
That makes it so special to me
It's the way it can change somebodies life
It's the way it always changes mine
It's the way it can make me see things in a positive light
The time it's always been mine
I'm grasping on, yeah ready to fly
Aim high, will you come along with me for the ride

This is all I've ever wanted
And I keep on letting it go
Took my eye off the ball
And now I'm letting myself down
Keep trying to figure my life out
And I keep on falling into the same old traps
And when everything felt right
It just collapsed

I'm losing every line
That was in my mind
Thought everything I wanted
Was in my sight
Now I see that it's not
I've got work to do
Finally feel like I've got something to prove

©2017 Written By Benji James

Don't say your a lover
Not a fighter
We fight for love every day
Work hard for our next pay
So we can pave our way

So we can provide a better place

For the ones we love

We fight the ones

Who try to tear us apart

All that jealousy can get ******

Your not afraid to let them see you cry

There the medication that helps you to survive

The arguments are what makes us stronger

In fact, I wouldn't have it any other way

You can throw verbal abuse at me

In fact, swing a fist out in public display

Because I'd still love you

We always work it out

There's nobody else like you

Nobody makes me feel the way you do

So give me the pleasure and the pain

You know how to stimulate my brain

Come put your body on me

Steal my breath away

Nobody will ever take your place

I'd go to war, I'd fight, I'd die

Just to know that you are mine

All the other people can hate 

They can't break the love we make

They can't take our hearts away

With you, I'll always remain

With you, I'd always stay.

©2017 Written By Benji James

Look who came running back
What am I just some fool
You think I just want you?
After all, you did
After all, you said
Oh wait that's right
You said nothing
I was the one chasing you
I really tried and fought for you
I lost and you left
And girl I'm sorry I don't do second best

What do you mean
You want a relationship now?
Weren't you the one
who turned me down?
I'm sorry girl
all I wanna do
Is **** around
You messed with my head
So I'll mess around
with every other girl instead
Oh you really want me now
Sorry girl gonna have to let you down
Because all I wanna do
Is **** around (**** around)

All warm and tucked in bed
That's when my phone lit up
Yeah I got a text
Saying how much you miss me
You wish that you were with me
My eyes just rolled
Can I slam my head against the wall
Because I thought I told you
I don't do second best
Maybe I didn't so I'll send that back in a text I guess

What do you mean
You want a relationship now?
Weren't you the one
who turned me down?
I'm sorry girl
all I wanna do
Is **** around
You messed with my head
So I'll mess around
with every other girl instead
Oh you really want me now
Sorry girl gonna have to let you down
Because all I wanna do
Is **** around (**** around)

Excuse me
while I go find someone else
Someone better
Because I know
I deserve better
I can do better
Plenty more fish in the sea
That want to get with me
Yeah just wait, you'll see
Don't blame me
For all your mistakes
That you went and made
You could have had it all
But you chose somebody else
You placed me back on that lonely shelf
And now I've learnt
to live without you
You came running back
Because you miss me
Chick you were the one
Who completely ditched me

What do you mean
You want a relationship now?
Weren't you the one
who turned me down?
I'm sorry girl
all I wanna do
Is **** around
You messed with my head
So I'll mess around
with every other girl instead
Oh you really want me now
Sorry girl gonna have to let you down
Because all I wanna do
Is **** around (**** around)

©2017 Written By Benji James

I can see the ****** tension
You're both expressing
Let me set you both free
That's why they call me
The love machine
I really like you
And I really like her
In fact, I like you both together
Let's add me
You know what they say
It's, even more, fun with three

Lips on lips
Tongue on skin
Hands run over bodies
I like the feeling
That this is giving
I need another taste
Yeah another fix

Eh let me help you strip
Right down, yeah girl
Right now, work with me ladies
Let's make love until the morning sun
Let's get sticky wet
Yeah girls
Let's get sticky wet
Hey girls you and me
Making love with three

Hope you're both ready
Things are bound to get sweaty
Switching out positions
Moans, biting, licking, kissing
Nail marks down skin
Lips locked, the taste so sweet
The smell of *** in the air yeah
Both **** fine, oh girls got it
I'm still on target doing alright
Aw yeah this feels so nice
one on top as I'm locking lips
Yeah switch it round
Move it in and out
Up and down
Switching in
Switch out
Things getting messy now

Lips on lips
Tongue on skin
Hands run over bodies
I like the feeling
That this is giving
I need another taste
Yeah another fix

Eh let me help you strip
Right down, yeah girl
Right now, work with me ladies
Let's make love until the morning sun
Let's get sticky wet
Yeah girls
Let's get sticky wet
Hey girls you and me
Making love with three

She's on her
Lips to lips
I'm kissing down the back
Yeah hands on her hips
Skin so smooth on both of you
Ooh I'm in deep
Losing control, bout to explode
Hold tight here it goes
Makeups getting messy
Their hair is everywhere
Still looking so fine
**** girls, you're both
hot as hell,
Yeah felt so good
You know it did
You know you both
made me feel like a king

Lips on lips
Tongue on skin
Hands run over bodies
I like the feeling
That this is giving
I need another taste
Yeah another fix

Eh let me help you strip
Right down, yeah girl
Right now, work with me ladies
Let's make love until the morning sun
Let's get sticky wet
Yeah girls
Let's get sticky wet
Hey girls you and me
Making love with three

©2017 Written By Benji James

Feels like things
Are gonna get hot and heavy
Hope you don't mind getting sweaty
Think your make up
Is going to get messy
Smear your lipstick
In the kiss
Girl you know I know
You want to be loved like this

Let me help you out
Out of that dress
Let your hair out
Girl don't think we're gonna
Make it to the bed
Your lips are locked on mine
Tongue in cheek
Lipstick stains on my neck
Legs wrapped around my waist
As I carry you to the bed oh yes

Let's get naked
Take it off
Take it off
Skin to skin
I want to feel every inch
Mmm
Take it off
Take it off
Let me run my hands
Over your body
I can tell that you want me
Take it off
Take it off
You on me, me on you
What does it matter
All I want is all of you

Oh, girl, you got your hand
down my jeans
You know I like it like that
I need some more
of that sweet honey baby
Let me taste your body baby
Let me help you get off oh baby
This is what I need
I need kiss every little bit
But I really like the taste of your lips
I like the way you bite
Just a little bit
Oh yeah, alright
She grabs the bed head tight

Let me help you out
Out of that dress
Let your hair out
Girl don't think we're gonna
Make it to the bed
Your lips are locked on mine
Tongue in cheek
Lipstick stains on my neck
Legs wrapped around my waist
As I carry you to the bed oh yes

Let's get naked
Take it off
Take it off
Skin to skin
I want to feel every inch
Mmm
Take it off
Take it off
Let me run my hands
Over your body
I can tell that you want me
Take it off
Take it off
You on me, me on you
What does it matter
All I want is all of you

Scratch marks down my back
We both look like a mess
Mascaras running under your eyes
Hearts are beating faster inside
You sure know how to make out
You sure know how to make love
Yeah you feel so good, babe
Inside was so nice
My God this felt so right
I think we need to do this again sometime
How about again tonight alright

Let me help you out
Out of that dress
Let your hair out
Girl don't think we're gonna
Make it to the bed
Your lips are locked on mine
Tongue in cheek
Lipstick stains on my neck
Legs wrapped around my waist
As I carry you to the bed oh yes

Let's get naked
Take it off
Take it off
Skin to skin
I want to feel every inch
Mmm
Take it off
Take it off
Let me run my hands
Over your body
I can tell that you want me
Take it off
Take it off
You on me, me on you
What does it matter
All I want is all of you

©2017 Written By Benji James

Late night. Starlight
Bright eyed, Heartbeats
So fast, Breathe in deep
Memories flash, Vivid Dreams
Bright skies, Milky way lights
Oh, girl, you're my shooting star
I'm gonna catch you
Before you hit the ground
Superman flies high tonight
Holds you in his arms so tight
Oh I'm never letting go
No never letting go
I won't watch this picture fade
No time, No moment goes to waste
When it's you and me, lost in each other's minds
Close your eyes, Dream away
To sunny days, Open fields, Waterfalls and grassy hills
Oh I'm never letting go
Never letting go of this
Never letting go of you
All I see is me inside of you

©2017 Written By Benji James

Sitting in the seat
Tapping my feet
Cuz I got the beat
To take to the street
I'm Hungary as can be
Think I need something to eat
All this waiting
Has made me so starving
The other patients
can hear my stomach grumbling

Oh waiting in the Doctor surgery
Air filled with sickness germs
Just gotta hope you don't
get what they got
Cuz it's not much fun
Lying in bed
With a sore head

His gonna dissect my toe
But it won't stop my flow
I can see that they know
I've got so much to show
But waiting really blows
Wish this nail wasn't ingrown
It ***** so much
I cause such a fuss
Ew is that ****
Nah I kid it is blood Ah

Oh waiting in the Doctor surgery
Air filled with sickness germs
Just gotta hope you don't
get what they got
Cuz it's not much fun
Lying in bed
With a sore head

I'm gonna scream like a *****
When he cuts into my skin
Cuz I don't like sharp things
They hurt oh ****
I'm going to die
Don't stick that in my eye
The lights to bright
Here my heart goes bump bump
To the sound of a drum
Wait where did that come from
Ahh stick out my tongue
Does my breath smell fresh?

Oh waiting in the Doctor surgery
Air filled with sickness germs
Just gotta hope you don't
get what they got
Cuz it's not much fun
Lying in bed
With a sore head

©2017 Written By Benji James

Have you ever tried to be someone else
Instead of being yourself
Because you felt as though
You'd make better impressions
And people you thought
that would never talk to you now will
Is this supposed to be how we feel
Instead of being original
Staying true to ourselves
We'd live a better life
In the mind of someone else
What about the fake,
if I don't act like me
is that something that can make a change
Is that something that will make
the people want to be friends with me

Yeah you say you don't want to be popular
Your happy being you
But why is it we always wonder
What it'd be like to be in another's shoes
They say you write your own stories
So why does it feel like it's written for me
You're born one day, the next
you're a slave trapped within life's cruel games,
you lose yourself more every day

Do you want to be a cover model
Do you want to be a star
Do you want to be a top businessman driving a fancy car
Do you wish to be a king or queen
Wish that you had money to buy everything you dreamed
Welcome to the madhouse
Where these thoughts drive you insane
Only the mentally strong survive
The rest are just runaway trains

I tried to be somebody else
Even creating a new name
Funny how the girl of my dreams
Now seems to talk to me
Not an image had she seen
But she told her whole life story
To me, well not quite me
But the character I envisioned
Somebody I brought to life
She entrusted secrets to a total stranger
Whom she had never met
So does that mean the closer
you are
That's when they shut you out
But feel comfortable with a total stranger

Yeah you say you don't want to be popular
Your happy being you
But why is it we always wonder
what it'd be like to be in another's shoes
They say you write your own stories
So why does it feel like it's written for me
You're born one day, the next
you're a slave trapped within life's cruel games,
you lose yourself more every day

Do you want to be a cover model
Do you want to be a star
Do you want to be a top businessman driving a fancy car
Do you wish to be a king or queen
Wish that you had money to buy everything you dreamed
Welcome to the madhouse
Where these thoughts drive you insane
Only the mentally strong survive
The rest are just runaway trains

Danger, danger,
you're not putting trust
in the ones you supposedly love
Who is willing to die and protect
You are letting out your inner most secrets
to people who'll take advantage
when you're at your lowest points
and it feels like there is no way out
Just cast yourself of doubt
Be happy with yourself
trust in the ones you love,
Try and see the beauty within yourself,
you're original and that's what's beautiful,
Be smart in your choices,
Don't be afraid to take risks
Just know sometimes there could be a consequence

Yeah you say you don't want to be popular
Your happy being you
But why is it we always wonder
what it'd be like to be in another's shoes
They say you write your own stories
So why does it feel like it's written for me
You're born one day, the next
you're a slave trapped within life's cruel games,
you lose yourself more every day

Do you want to be a cover model
Do you want to be a star
Do you want to be a top businessman driving a fancy car
Do you wish to be a king or queen
Wish that you had money to buy everything you dreamed
Welcome to the madhouse
Where these thoughts drive you insane
Only the mentally strong survive
The rest are just runaway trains

I'm learning to be happy in the choices that I make
I'm learning to think before I risk everything
But I'm not afraid to take chances
I'm learning to love myself
I'm trying to sustain my mental health
I'm starting to look after myself
I'm learning from the mistakes that I've been dealt
This is the story that I write
I'm choosing to be happy in my life
And this is where I am.

©2017 Written By Benji James

So many of you on here are such talented writers,
I love reading what you guys and girls publish, some you can emotionally connect with, others just wow you with such phrases and imaginative writing styles...There is so much talent on here it is truly a wonderful community to be apart of, I don't think I have ever felt anymore accepted by any community the way I have been by this one, And all of you inspire me whether it be in your writing, comments and or just general conversations we may have, keep doing what you do best and keep those thoughts flowing and keep capturing all of our imaginations, and to those of you I haven't followed or read yet.
I'm looking very much forward to hopefully reading your stuff in the near future.

Love and Peace Benji James

I know inside your heart is breaking
your whole body feels like it’s aching
Inside your soul, it’s shaking
Your breath of air feels like it’s fading
you didn't expect this situation
but in the dark, there is always light
You’ll find happiness on the other side

Hey there angel eyes
everything is gonna be alright
Take my hand hold it tight
I will see you through the hardest times
Hey there angel eyes
Everything is gonna be just fine

Trying to fight another scar
Just don’t give up
You won’t lose out in love
I promise you there is someone
It feels like there’s no end
To this corner bend
you’ll find somebody at the end
Waiting for you to come to them

Hey there angel eyes
everything is gonna be alright
Take my hand hold it tight
I will see you through the hardest times
Hey there angel eyes
Everything is gonna be just fine

It feels like your trying to fly
With broken wings
There is a way to mend everything
Don’t let go, never give up
Put some armour around your heart
you’ll find a way to make the pain fade
Keep on walking don’t be afraid
Love always finds a way

Hey there angel eyes
everything is gonna be alright
Take my hand hold it tight
I will see you through the hardest times
Hey there angel eyes
Everything is gonna be just fine.

©2017 Written By Benji James

2004 I discovered
I could write
All the emotions I felt inside
That's when the lyrics
Just started to flow
But it started out slow
2011 I was on top of my game
2014 I took a break
2015 I lost pretty much everything
Guess that means
2016 I have to start over again

I used to **** this lyrical ****
Now I can't be bothered
with any of it
In fact, I don't even care about life
I'm sick of all these fake smiles
I'm tired of feeling alone
I'm sick of trying to move on

I'm done with this
Feeling like ****
Trying to get better
That's not working
Trying to find reasons to live
I'm done looking for it
You can't give me a reason to stay
Pass me the blade
It's time to fade away

Stop pretending you care
When I know you don't
I see through your lies
Nobody here can
Make me change my mind
I've seen a dark world
Through these eyes
Thought I could ignite the world with love
Should have given up from the start

I used to **** this lyrical ****
Now I can't be bothered
with any of it
In fact, I don't even care about life
I'm sick of all these fake smiles
I'm tired of feeling alone
I'm sick of trying to move on

I'm done with this
Feeling like ****
Trying to get better
That's not working
Trying to find reasons to live
I'm done looking for it
You can't give me a reason to stay
Pass me the blade
It's time to fade away

I've tried coming to grips
With the things that I think
I can't let this brain keep running
It drives me deeper into the ground
I'm better off when I'm not around
Eternal sleep that's for me
I said it before and I'll say it again
I've taken my vows
It's time to let these lights go out

I used to **** this lyrical ****
Now I can't be bothered
with any of it
In fact, I don't even care about life
I'm sick of all these fake smiles
I'm tired of feeling alone
I'm sick of trying to move on

I'm done with this
Feeling like ****
Trying to get better
That's not working
Trying to find reasons to live
I'm done looking for it
You can't give me a reason to stay
Pass me the blade
It's time to fade away

©2017 Written By Benji James

My eyes are running black
The sky is starting to crack
My back is starting to ache
As my hands start to shake
My vocals are starting to strain
I'll keep pushing through the pain
I'll keep making my way
Writing my own fate
All these tears won't wash the memories away
I'll keep holding on, Stand strong
Proving I can handle anything that goes wrong

No, I won't fight back the tears
No, I won't hold back what I think
I've held it in for far too long
I'm letting it all loose
No more weight on my shoulders
Need to be a little bit braver
A little bit bolder
After all the mistakes I made
I feel a little bit wiser

Don't give in (To all your pain)
Don't throw (Everyone you love away)
I'm starting to see
You don't need to do everything
On your own
You don't have to always feel alone
I'm not just another shadow
on the floor
I'm starting to see the ones
Who've earned my love
And I'm starting to see
I get it back in return

You've been here all along
To help carry the load I bear
You've always been there
To guide me with your hand
And all the love we have, We share
You plus me have been through every tragedy
It's taken all this time to learn
You can help me breathe
Tell me everything you see in me
I'll let down the walls
Take a look at all the flaws
And all the hurt that was all my fault
But you see where perfection lies
and sincerity that is trying to hide
the broken piece to my heart you'll find
Because I want you to be classed as mine

No, I won't fight back the tears
No, I won't hold back what I think
I've held it in for far too long
I'm letting it all loose
No more weight on my shoulders
Need to be a little bit braver
A little bit bolder
After all the mistakes I made
I feel a little bit wiser

Don't give in (To all your pain)
Don't throw (Everyone you love away)
I'm starting to see
You don't need to do everything
On your own
You don't have to always feel alone
I'm not just another shadow
on the floor
I'm starting to see the ones
Who've earned my love
And I'm starting to see
I get it back in return

You're here in every waking moment
Struggle with me through every problem
You know every scar that is marked on my heart
You've wiped every tear that I cry
You said I was your soldier who makes you smile
And all the battles that we have faced
Have carried us to a higher and safer place
In your arms I know I'm safe
And no matter what darkness lies inside
I know you'll protect me with your life
As will I
Because baby you're my kryptonite
You could try counting all the stars
But you can't count all the ways
In which I love you
I'll never put another above you
Because everything I am
Is everything you gave me
And I won't throw that away for anybody
Cuz you are my everybody
Your the one and only
With you, I could never feel lonely
There was only room for two
Honey that was me plus you.

No, I won't fight back the tears
No, I won't hold back what I think
I've held it in for far too long
I'm letting it all loose
No more weight on my shoulders
Need to be a little bit braver
A little bit bolder
After all the mistakes I made
I feel a little bit wiser

Don't give in (To all your pain)
Don't throw (Everyone you love away)
I'm starting to see
You don't need to do everything
On your own
You don't have to always feel alone
I'm not just another shadow
on the floor
I'm starting to see the ones
Who've earned my love
And I'm starting to see
I get it back in return

©2017 Written By Benji James

All dressed up
With nowhere to go
A phone full of numbers
With no one to call
Guess I should have replied
To all the messages I got sent
Instead, I shut everyone out
That when you pay the price
In behind these lonely eyes
Lies dormant emotions inside
Ready to awaken from this slumber
Oh how I wish I could rewind
Make better decision in my life

Sympathy ain't found here
You made your own decisions
It should be crystal clear
Why you're all alone
Staring at your shadow
Upon the wall
Hoping, waiting for somebody to call

That is when you hear
Just deal with it
No, I won't give in
Just deal with it
Can't shake this
Sinking feeling
I won't just deal with it
I won't give in
I'll keep fighting
till my last breath
I won't just deal with it
Deal with it

Late night drives
Just don't work like they used to
I need someone till fills this void
There's a hole in my soul
Looking for a spark
Looking for a jumpstart
To reenergize my heart
There's something in my mind
Trying to stay optimistic
That it'll all be okay
But there's still no sign
Of an end to all this rain
There still no cure
To this pain.

Sympathy ain't found here
You made your own decisions
It should be crystal clear
Why you're all alone
Staring at your shadow
Upon the wall
Hoping, waiting for somebody to call

That is when you hear
Just deal with it
No, I won't give in
Just deal with it
Can't shake this
Sinking feeling
I won't just deal with it
I won't give in
I'll keep fighting
till my last breath
I won't just deal with it
Deal with it

They say home is where the heart is
Never has a line ever been so true
That why I'm out in the darkness
Searching for you
Looking for a little light
To brighten my sky
Somehow I hold onto hope
Everything's gonna work out right
Somehow I figure
I'm gonna find you
At just the right time

Sympathy ain't found here
You made your own decisions
It should be crystal clear
Why you're all alone
Staring at your shadow
Upon the wall
Hoping, waiting for somebody to call

That is when you hear
Just deal with it
No, I won't give in
Just deal with it
Can't shake this
Sinking feeling
I won't just deal with it
I won't give in
I'll keep fighting
till my last breath
I won't just deal with it
Deal with it

©2017 Written By Benji James

I'm standing on a ledge
Looking out over a vast ocean
I feel small, insignificant.
Yet I admire its beauty, it's wonder.
What secrets lurk beneath those depths,
Will they ever discover,
all there is to know?
These feelings aren't shallow,
they aren't just meat and bone,
These thoughts aren't skin deep.  
Think deeper
Deeper than the deepest trench
I'm standing on the sand
At the edge of the water
As the waves from the ocean
caress the shore
The water sweeps over my feet
I feel calm, soothed.
There's something in the ocean
I just find relaxing
It seems to heal all the wounds
Even though the salt may sting
I know that these wounds
will fade with time.
The sunsets over the ocean
revealing a beauty in which only eyes can behold
turning skies to the most captivating of pinks and soft oranges.
But it's the reflection of the moon upon the water.
That totally connects with my soul.
A light shining brightly over a vast ocean, yet it still gives hope,
that there are many beautiful moments within life.
No matter how vast or deep the ocean of your mind is.
I can hear waves crashing as I close my eyes.
Serenading my ears with its song,
they aren't rough like the pain that swirls inside of me.
it feels as though it is cleansing me of my sins,
with each wave that I hear
Another terrible feeling washes away.
All my hopes and dreams though far and distant.
Just may be reachable.
All I have to do is sail to reach them.
but for now, I'll just admire the view.
look at these stars from a distance,
one day I will shine just as bright
Somewhere in the future of my life.

©2017 Written By Benji James

Mmmm
That dress brings out your eyes
Mmmm
You're the one who lights up my life
I wanna take a drive
With you at my side
Let's take a drive
Just you and I
Take control of my stereo
Let's go somewhere beautiful
Because girl you know
That you're beautiful to me

Who would have thought
you'd be the girl
To fill the front seat
Let's take a ride
Out to the meadow
Down to the beach
Doesn't matter where we go
So long as it's you
Next to me
Riding front seat

Girl put your hand in mine
When I look over at you
Can't help but smile
It's cute how you sing along
to every song that comes on
Pretty sure that you
could do no wrong
And I want this moment to last forever
This is where I'm happiest
This is where I feel I should be
What does it matter
All that matters is that you're with me

Who would have thought
you'd be the girl
To fill the front seat
Let's take a ride
Out to the meadow
Down to the beach
Doesn't matter where we go
So long as it's you
Next to me
Riding front seat

And I'd drive 1000 miles
Just to see you smile
Yeah I'd drive a thousand more
Just to prove
that you're the girl that I adore
Windows down, hair flowing in the breeze
Look any more beautiful
and I'll hardly be able to breathe
You're everything to me
And it completely seems
You've unchained my heart
Oh free to fall in love

Who would have thought
you'd be the girl
To fill the front seat
Let's take a ride
Out to the meadow
Down to the beach
Doesn't matter where we go
So long as it's you
Next to me
Riding front seat

You're the release that is need
You helped me to see
Those good things will come,
To those who wait
Thought my fate
Was to grow old alone
But now I know
Life was just waiting for the right time
To bring you into my life
And I've opened up my heart
To let your light shine in
To let you show me how to love again

Who would have thought
you'd be the girl
To fill the front seat
Let's take a ride
Out to the meadow
Down to the beach
Doesn't matter where we go
So long as it's you
Next to me
Riding front seat

Every moment is perfectly worth it
You're showing me, it's okay
To trust, it's okay to open up
And as we sing along to the radio
I feel that you know
My heart only beats for you
Your lips are all I want to kiss
It's all these thoughts
That make moments like this
Absolute bliss
And I never thought
I'd deserve something like this
Yeah, girl, you're perfectly worth it

Who would have thought
you'd be the girl
To fill the front seat
Let's take a ride
Out to the meadow
Down to the beach
Doesn't matter where we go
So long as it's you
Next to me
Riding front seat

©2017 Written By Benji James

She's been looking for love
In all of the wrong places
Dancing in the club
Making out under the stars
She likes a guy who's a little bad
But when things get rough
She gets sad
And now she's mad at herself
Because she knew better
Then to trust a guy with a bad side

These two souls
weren't meant to collide
These two souls
were in the wrong place
At the wrong time
He's her biggest regret
She holds up her head
And says

I'm only human
I make mistakes
At least I'll learn
From the ones I make
Sometimes I'll get lost
But I'll find my way
I'll find my true love
At the right place
At the right time
One day

She's sitting on a park bench
Leaves fall from the trees
She loves that autumn breeze
She's staring at clouds
Making out shapes
Pondering life
and the way she's changed
Since her troublesome teen days
And she remembers back
To the promise she made
After the wrong decisions, she made

These two souls
weren't meant to collide
These two souls
were in the wrong place
At the wrong time
He's her biggest regret
She holds up her head
And says

I'm only human
I make mistakes
At least I'll learn
From the ones I make
Sometimes I'll get lost
But I'll find my way
I'll find my true love
At the right place
At the right time
One day

She's been sitting on the train
On the way to catch a plane
She feels the need to get away
She's still looking for love
Yeah she's been searching for the one
She's tired of lonely nights
She's ready to find Mr right
Just someone who is nice
She doesn't want another
Memory filled with misery
She just want to feel that
Heart beating to a melody
One last time but this time
For the rest of her life

These two souls
weren't meant to collide
These two souls
were in the wrong place
At the wrong time
He's her biggest regret
She holds up her head
And says

I'm only human
I make mistakes
At least I'll learn
From the ones I make
Sometimes I'll get lost
But I'll find my way
I'll find my true love
At the right place
At the right time
One day

©2017 Written By Benji James

Driving down the freeway
Looking at the stars
Wondering how far you are
I've been spending all of my time
Looking for a girl
Who'll fill in my life
And my heart it only beats for one
I'm still looking
still, can't find the one

I've been searching far and wide
Don't know where it is she hides
Not sure why this flame keeps dying
I set my heart alight
Why does the fire keep fading

I don't want to spend
Another night alone
I can't hold myself together
On my own
I need a girl
Who can hold me tight
I need a girl
Who can light up my skies
No, I don't want to spend
Another night alone
Won't hold myself together
On my own

Cruising through the street
Looking for a sign
Looking for a sign
Of a girl who will just be mine
And I keep walking up mountains
Looking at the views
Hoping soon that I'll find you
And I've been going to all of these places
Hoping soon a girl will fill these spaces

I've been searching far and wide
Don't know where it is she hides
Not sure why this flame keeps dying
I set my heart alight
Why does the fire keep fading

I don't want to spend
Another night alone
I can't hold myself together
On my own
I need a girl
Who can hold me tight
I need a girl
Who can light up my skies
No, I don't want to spend
Another night alone
Won't hold myself together
On my own

Laying in my bed
It's pitch black
Have we ever even met
I'm thinking of places
Where I might find you
Maybe I should just stop searching
Maybe this is fruitless
Maybe everybody thinks I'm just stupid
All I know is I can't find Cupid
And my heart is slowing to a calm pace
That's when I drift off to sleep

I've been searching far and wide
Don't know where it is she hides
Not sure why this flame keeps dying
I set my heart alight
Why does the fire keep fading

I don't want to spend
Another night alone
I can't hold myself together
On my own
I need a girl
Who can hold me tight
I need a girl
Who can light up my skies
No, I don't want to spend
Another night alone
Won't hold myself together
On my own

Tell me am I dreaming
I can hear a voice
Off in the distance
Sounds so sweet
That's when I turn around
And I see you
I think I'm melting
You said I can love you
My heart starts racing
She goes in for the kiss
That's when I wake up
And now my head won't stop thinking
Who was the girl in my dream?
Who was that girl I've just seen?

I've been searching far and wide
Don't know where it is she hides
Not sure why this flame keeps dying
I set my heart alight
Why does the fire keep fading

I don't want to spend
Another night alone
I can't hold myself together
On my own
I need a girl
Who can hold me tight
I need a girl
Who can light up my skies
No, I don't want to spend
Another night alone
Won't hold myself together
On my own

©2017 Written By Benji James

Twenty-seven years
Of losing out in love
Twenty-seven years
Of never giving up
On anyone I love
Full of hate, But full of love
Full of courage, Full of heart
I’ve fallen down
But I got back up
Got lost, been stuck
Found a way back out
But fell right back in

Twenty-seven years
I’m still holding on
Twenty-seven years
All the best parts of me gone
I’m still staying strong
But for how long?
Every day could this be my last song
Twenty-seven years
and it all goes wrong
Twenty-seven minutes
Bad lucks born
So many decisions
but I’m still torn

Ever since childhood memories
I’ve had enemies
I’ve lost energy
trying to fight
With all of my might
I’m losing sight
through all these hard times
Through every single line
through every rhyme
Through everything I write
You get a glimpse
Into my troubled mind
So appreciate the time
That I’ve put in
To every word
From all the hurt
In my heart
From all my broken love

Twenty-seven years
It’s taken to come to terms
With all, I’ve had to learn
Twenty-seven years
I’ve learned to burn
All the rage, the hate
Wipe clean the slate
Twenty-seven years
I’m still around
Twenty-seven years
I’m standing my ground
Against the tides, the crowd
It gives me a reason to shout
My passion out loud
Standing tall and proud
Before I’m taken out
In the final round

Twenty-seven years
Twenty-seven years

©2017 Written By Benji James

2017 and I'm still writing
2017 and still no one likes me
Let me take you back to 2011
Back to when lyrics were
Jumping out of me
Like visual scenes
Back when I was an emotional mess
Where every song ends
With me dead
Remember
The razor blade cuts
All of  them scars
All that blood
I called Art

I've been looking around
And nothing has changed
I'm still the mess that was made
I still crave that attention
I still end my nights in depression

I'm still looking for something
That can save my life
Keep failing at everything that I try
Sometimes it's an effort to even smile
At least I can admit it
At least I know I'm like this

Doctors keep prescribing me pills
With this, I can't even deal
Drug addict
I just won't be
They get poured down the drain
My soul is damaged
Beyond repair
In a pitch black room
You'll find me there

I've been looking around
And nothing has changed
I'm still the mess that was made
I still crave that attention
I still end my nights in depression

I'm still looking for something
That can save my life
Keep failing at everything that I try
Sometimes it's an effort to even smile
At least I can admit it
At least I know I'm like this

Happy go lucky
That's supposed to be me?
Guess you just don't really know me
And all the things
that run through my mind
Every single night
I'm lost in life
And I can't seem to find
A map that shows me the right direction
They said life's all about perception
And my perspective
Is that I'm just dead and floating

I've been looking around
And nothing has changed
I'm still the mess that was made
I still crave that attention
I still end my nights in depression

I'm still looking for something
That can save my life
Keep failing at everything that I try
Sometimes it's an effort to even smile
At least I can admit it
At least I know I'm like this

©2017 Written By Benji James

Shocked my heart back to life
Haven't felt this good in a while
There's a feeling taking me over
I forgot this is happiness
I forgot how to breathe in deeply
I forgot how to consume these feelings
You're doing everything right
You're showing me everything is gonna be just fine

Check my vital signs
Look at me again in these eyes
Think my hearts beating
out of my chest
I could get used to this

Haven't even seen the best
Of you just yet
How can you be so perfect
Somehow I know
that you're worth it
How can you be so perfect
Somehow I know
That you're all that I need
You set my love free
You set my love free

Don't remember the last time
I've felt this happy
Don't remember the last time
I felt this comfortable with somebody
You bring a new meaning into my life
You're helping me see there are clearer skies
On the other side
You've been running through my mind
You've got a warm feeling so kind
Glad you came in at just the right time

Check my vital signs
Look at me again in these eyes
Think my hearts beating
out of my chest
I could get used to this

Haven't even seen the best
Of you just yet
How can you be so perfect
Somehow I know
that you're worth it
How can you be so perfect
Somehow I know
That you're all that I need
You set my love free
You set my love free

They say everything happens
for a reason
They say good things come to those who wait
I'm starting to believe what they say
You're making me believe more every day
Thought I was destined to be alone
Now I'm not so sure
Think I'm gonna let down these four walls
Just to let you in
Because I trust you with everything
So let me put my hand in yours
Bring you inside my world
Show you're the one and only girl

Check my vital signs
Look at me again in these eyes
Think my hearts beating
out of my chest
I could get used to this

Haven't even seen the best
Of you just yet
How can you be so perfect
Somehow I know
that you're worth it
How can you be so perfect
Somehow I know
That you're all that I need
You set my love free
You set my love free.

©2017 Written By Benji James

In the dead of night
These lines come to life
This is the legacy
That I leave behind
Am I awake or blind
I can't seem to find
The light on the other side
Am I, am I alright
Still holding on tight
Know a little, still, don't know a lot
Is this the way, I keep going off
Think I'm lost
I keep going off
I think I'm lost
I think I'm lost

Lost in the deep end
I think I might be drowning
Too much, too late
I've gone a little overboard
Trying to float
Keep my head above the water
Seas are getting rough
Do I say too much, too soon
Suffocating,
air leaving me like an open balloon
I've had enough of the strangers
Messing in my brain
Ever live in life
Wishing you were dead
Late nights in bed
I'm out of my head
It's not right,
give a little, lose a lot
That's how it goes

In the dead of night
These lines come to life
This is the legacy
That I leave behind
Am I awake or blind
I can't seem to find
The light on the other side
Am I, am I alright
Still holding on tight
Know a little, still, don't know a lot
Is this the way, I keep going off
Think I'm lost
I keep going off
I think I'm lost
I think I'm lost

Spill a little blood,
give into the screams
Frightened by these horrific scenes
Behind the silver TV screen
Looking for a script
I could apply to life
Hate not knowing where I'm going in this life
Have you got a plan
That maybe I could apply to mine
Always need a way out
Another formulated escape
I think I need to get out of here
Before I lose myself
Turn into something else

In the dead of night
These lines come to life
This is the legacy
That I leave behind
Am I awake or blind
I can't seem to find
The light on the other side
Am I, am I alright
Still holding on tight
Know a little, still, don't know a lot
Is this the way, I keep going off
Think I'm lost
I keep going off
I think I'm lost
I think I'm lost

There are gremlins in the closet
Monsters underneath my bed
Something invading my skies
Can't see what it is
Don't know what it is
Voices keep whispering in my ear
Not sure I want to do
What it is I hear
Something just sunk inside
Think my heart could stop at anytime
Pains in my chest
Vital signs, I'm still alive
Somethings out there
Coming for me
Reapers here R.I.P

In the dead of night
These lines come to life
This is the legacy
That I leave behind
Am I awake or blind
I can't seem to find
The light on the other side
Am I, am I alright
Still holding on tight
Know a little, still, don't know a lot
Is this the way, I keep going off
Think I'm lost
I keep going off
I think I'm lost
I think I'm lost

©2017 Written By Benji James

Do you ever wonder
Or get lost in deep thought
What everyone would think
And feel when you're gone
Do you run through scenarios
Inside of your head
What will be the last thing you do
What will be the last thing that you said
I find myself at a crossroads
What legacy can I leave behind

Just know that when I'm gone
I'm sorry for the hurting
That I've caused
I'm sorry for the anger I made you feel
I'm sorry for not taking the blame
When it was my fault
I hope you cherish the smiles and good memories

Hope when I get to the other side
I can look down and see
The footprints I left inside
Everyone else's life
What kind of marks did I leave
Did I inspire, did I hurt
Did I leave you with meaningful words
I just hope I can see
The people who'll remember me

Tell me do you ever try to come to grips
With the mistakes that you made
The hurt that you gave
Can you forgive, what if they forgave
Could you forgive yourself
For the pain that you made
And sometimes I lack confidence
Sometimes the self-doubt wins out
Sometimes I'm lost in train of thought
and I can't seem to find my way out

Just know that when I'm gone
I'm sorry for the hurting
That I've caused
I'm sorry for the anger I made you feel
I'm sorry for not taking the blame
When it was my fault
I hope you cherish the smiles and good memories

Hope when I get to the other side
I can look down and see
The footprints I left inside
Everyone else's life
What kind of marks did I leave
Did I inspire, did I hurt
Did I leave you with meaningful words
I just hope I can see
The people who'll remember me

I wonder what the effect is I will leave
I wonder will they ever see past the emotions that they read
I wonder what will you see
The day this earth is taken from beneath my feet
What kind of legacy is it I will leave
I hope it's something with meaning
I hope the hurt I left found healing
I hope the hearts that broke
Got completed because of the emptiness I left
I hope that everyone I came across finds happiness
I hope the message I leave have meaning

Just know that when I'm gone
I'm sorry for the hurting
That I've caused
I'm sorry for the anger I made you feel
I'm sorry for not taking the blame
When it was my fault
I hope you cherish the smiles and good memories

Hope when I get to the other side
I can look down and see
The footprints I left inside
Everyone else's life
What kind of marks did I leave
Did I inspire, did I hurt
Did I leave you with meaningful words
I just hope I can see
The people who'll remember me

©2017 Written By Benji James

Picking myself back up
from the floor
Back on my feet
One foot in front
Of the other
I'm learning to walk again
Step by step
I'm learning that I can dance
I promise
I won't mark my arms
Never let another girl
Break my heart
Never let another
Stray me from my path

I won't stop
Until I reach an encore
I want more
Never gonna stop
Until I reach an encore
I want it all
Give me more, give me more
Top of the charts
Yeah I want it all
Not gonna stop until I reach my encore

All I need is to find redemption
For all these failed mistakes
I've found a way to clean the slate
I know now I can refill my plate
Destined to be great
I still haven't figured out my fate
But I'm learning a little every day
And I'm now figuring out
I'm heading the right way
Sorry for all of my complaints
I know not being perfect is okay
Thanks to all of those
who just accept my flaws and faults
This is who I am
I really hope you understand

I won't stop
Until I reach an encore
I want more
Never gonna stop
Until I reach an encore
I want it all
Give me more, give me more
Top of the charts
Yeah I want it all
Not gonna stop until I reach my encore

I promise
I won't create any more scars
I'm learning to trust in love
And I don't mean the relationship thing
I mean love,
straight from the heart
The one that accepts you
for who you are
And I've been laying all alone
In the dark trying to hold on
And now a light is burning bright
And I'm starting to read
in between the lines
It says everything's
going to be alright
Yeah everything's
going to be just fine

I won't stop
Until I reach an encore
I want more
Never gonna stop
Until I reach an encore
I want it all
Give me more, give me more
Top of the charts
Yeah I want it all
Not gonna stop until I reach my encore

©2017 Written By Benji James

One day you'll realise
All these lyrics were about you
In fact, I think you're smart enough
To figure out
What they've been all about
Doesn't take a genius to figure it out
You left me in a pool of doubt
Questioning myself why and how
Could I ever let it come to that
Letting you go was the biggest mistake
That I've ever made
And I didn't do it just once but twice
Why did we have to suffer the price
In my head none of this **** makes sense
In time you'll come to see
I was only telling you the truth
It was always gonna be me for you.
And the love that I had for you was real
Whether you choose to believe it or not
That choice is yours, in the end
But for me, none of this went according to plan
And I spent the time
To try and deal with all the pain
That's messed with my brain
And now I'm just trying
To make this right
Can't you understand it
From my side
I wanted you to be
The other part of my life
But it was him who won you, not me
And look what happened in the end
I told you he would **** with you again
I told you to trust me
I tried to be there
I tried to defend your heart
honestly, you didn't really care
Or believe in anything I said
And now I'll leave the rest in your hands
To choose what we should be
I wanted you to know
What is on my mind
And this is the way I can do it right
I want us to still be friends
Maybe more
That choice is yours
Because I'm not sure
what you think anymore
You haven't been making this easy lately
But I can't blame you
I think I've hurt you real bad
But you hurt me to
I just hope you understand
I'll always be there to stand by you
No matter what happens
I love you till death do us part
Girl you've always got a place in my heart

©2017 Written By Benji James

Just another night
You on my mind
I can hardly sleep
Keep running through
these thoughts
How did we end up here
And I took all the blame
But life without you
It isn't the same
Keep hoping I'll see your name
Light up my screen again

Don't give up
Hold on for love
Got to stay strong
Don't give up
This time she's the one
Can't give in
Nobody else gives you this feeling
Can't give up on us
Can't give up on our love

You said we were fate
I want to believe it
You said we had no boundaries
Think maybe I might have found it
Possibly crossed that line
Looks like we aren't gonna make it
through this situation this time
Looks like I've messed up
And now we are beyond repair
Seems you've  been moving on
Leaving me shattered all alone

Don't give up
Hold on for love
Got to stay strong
Don't give up
This time she's the one
Can't give in
Nobody else gives you this feeling
Can't give up on us
Can't give up on our love

I'm hurting baby
Miserable without you
Can't seem to think
Except for how I lost you
You were all I had
And then I went
and ****** up real bad
I'm looking for a sign
Making wishes that everything
will turn out right
I'm hoping and praying
you'll walk back into my life

Don't give up
Hold on for love
Got to stay strong
Don't give up
This time she's the one
Can't give in
Nobody else gives you this feeling
Can't give up on us
Can't give up on our love

©2017 Written By Benji James

There's a lot of illustration left in these pages
The confessions I confess have become contagious
Here's a little more of my story untold
We all wait patiently for it to all unfold
I was the one left out in the cold
Don't like my lyrics find somebody else,
To pull off of your reading shelf.

©2017 Written By Benji James

I'm the one who suffers for my art
All these words I've written
Were written in blood
I still haven't played all my cards
Just like Gaga I've got a poker face
I've got a lot of talent left to showcase
There's a fire in my eyes destined for greatness
I've got no time left for haters
The fire of my passion blazes
No more broken mirrors,
No more razors
Had too many scars
Been to way too many dark places
Seen a lot of people can't place faces
By the time I'm done everyone will know my name
Cuz I'm so stuck into this love game
I've got nothing left I need to claim
All I want is my name engraved
On a heart in everybody's heart frame.

©2017 Written By Benji James

Skimming stones across the water

All these memories flash before my eyes

Things were good back then.
Now you get under my skin.
Once upon a time you were my everything
all of this has changed 

You and I 
we went our separate ways
now all that I can do

is reminisce about better days
you’re lingering here in dreams
still envision you, standing in front of me
Maybe this will all fade with time
but right now babe,
you’re still here in my mind

Here I am counting all the ways

we let each other down,

how did you just stand there,
you just let me drown,
in all of this pain.
Just sitting in this park, after dark

gazing at all these stars
how could we drift this far apart?
like a river rises,
 I’m flooded with emotions
For you, I was totally devoted
how could you give up on me
When I needed you most
All is lost, my heart is crushed
I lost you in this love

Hey girl, once there was a time

All I wanted was you to be mine,

All of the jealousy in me
Lead me to places, I never thought I would see
It made me become, everything I said I’d never be
I am looking for all the signals 
that lead us to this,

How was this something we couldn’t fix

Wasn’t me who chose it, to be this way.
How could you go lead me astray
Seems you ****** the light right out of me
and all these emotions, I can’t control
all of this hurt, Don’t wanna feel anymore
Make me numb, I don’t want to feel anymore.

Here I am counting all the ways

we let each other down,

how did you just stand there,
you just let me drown,
in all of this pain.
Just sitting in this park, after dark

gazing at all these stars
how could we drift this far apart?
like a river rises, 
I’m flooded with emotions
For you, I was totally devoted
how could you give up on me
When I needed you most
All is lost, my heart is crushed
I lost you in this love

Standing on this ledge

looking over a vast ocean

I could jump at any moment
So I can drown in this emotional ocean

Let the salt sting all these wounds 
that you left upon me
all these scars reveal, the pain you left me in
Can you see it, see this is what you did
Thought we were the perfect two
only to be heartbroken by you
How could an angel, cause this kind of hurt
How could someone I trusted so much
tear me completely apart, shattered and broken

Words that never should have been spoken
Were revealed in conversation

I need to escape this vindication
baby, I’m lost in this confrontation
need my own constellation
just to escape this situation

Here I am counting all the ways

we let each other down,

how did you just stand there,
you just let me drown,
in all of this pain.
Just sitting in this park, after dark

gazing at all these stars
how could we drift this far apart?
like a river rises, 
I’m flooded with emotions
For you, I was totally devoted
how could you give up on me
When I needed you most
All is lost, my heart is crushed
I lost you in this love

©2017 Written By Benji James

I remember when you were four
I caught you drawing on the wall
I couldn't get mad
Instead I just laughed
And I still have
The finger print painting
that you made
In fact I had it framed
I have every art piece you made
To remind me that your always here
with me spiritually

All These tear drops
That fall upon the page
Creating smudged ink stains
As this pen bleeds
Words drenched in sorrow
An empty heart slowly fades
Can't seem to find a way
To release all this pain
Can't seem to find the words to say
I miss you each and everyday
Can't find a logical reason to explain
Why you were taken a way

Can't forgive God
For what he's done
Just hope he's
Holding you in his arms
Keeping you safe and warm
You got the voices of angels
Who can serenade
And sing you to sleep
I'll keep you safe
Inside of your dreams

We were at the hospital
I was sitting beside your bed
And you wiped the tears
Underneath my eyes
Then I heard you say
Daddy please don't cry
I like it better when you smile
So I smiled
Don't say no goodnights or goodbyes
Yeah princess your my little fighter
My inspiration, my perfection
My saviour, my hope, my strength
Your everything I am
I'll carry that with me forever

All these tear drops
That fall upon the page
Creating smudged ink stains
As this pen bleeds
Words drenched in sorrow
An empty heart slowly fades
Can't seem to find a way
To release all this pain
Can't seem to find the words to say
I miss you each and everyday
Can't find a logical reason to explain
Why you were taken a way

Can't forgive God
For what he's done
Just hope he's
Holding you in his arms
Keeping you safe and warm
You got the voices of angels
Who can serenade
And sing you to sleep
I'll keep you safe
Inside of your dreams

I still remember
when I heard the doctor say
(There's no heart rate)
That line still haunts me
Your mother and I fell to the floor
Neither of us wanted to get back up
It felt like we cried for hours
And then I felt
something give me strength
Then I remembered what you said
Daddy please don't cry
I like it better when you smile
So I pulled myself back up
from the floor
Took your mother in my arms
Carried her back to the car
You were every step
You were every breath

All These tear drops
That fall upon the page
Creating smudged ink stains
As this pen bleeds
Words drenched in sorrow
An empty heart slowly fades
Can't seem to find a way
To release all this pain
Can't seem to find the words to say
I miss you each and everyday
Can't find a logical reason to explain
Why you were taken a way

Can't forgive God
For what he's done
Just hope he's holding
You in his arms
Keeping you safe and warm
You got the voices of angels
Who can serenade
And sing you to sleep
And I'll keep you safe
Inside of your dreams

I still remember when
I heard the priest say
May she rest with angels
watching over her
May they share there
infinite love on high
May they protect
her blessed soul
Let the Lord take her
Into his loving arms
To keep her safe from harm
I said Amen to that princess
And I've seen you in the stars
Yeah you'll never be to far
For we are always
With in each other's hearts

All these tear drops
That fall upon the page
Creating smudged ink stains
As this pen bleeds
Words drenched in sorrow
An empty heart slowly fades
Can't seem to find a way
To release all this pain
Can't seem to find the words to say
I miss you each and everyday
Can't find a logical reason to explain
Why you were taken a way

Can't forgive God
For what he's done
Just hope he's holding
You in his arms
Keeping you safe and warm
You got the voices of angels
Who can serenade
And sing you to sleep
And I'll keep you safe
Inside of your dreams

Sometimes I sit in your empty room
Imagine you playing, drawing
Creating all those games
You used to play
With your vivid imagination
A world of your creation
It's like your still here
I can feel your essence
I can feel your presence
In this place
It's where I go to relive your memory
That you left for me

All these tear drops
That fall upon the page
Creating smudged ink stains
As this pen bleeds
Words drenched in sorrow
An empty heart slowly fades
Can't seem to find a way
To release all this pain
Can't seem to find the words to say
I miss you each and everyday
Can't find a logical reason to explain
Why you were taken a way

Can't forgive God
For what he's done
Just hope he's holding
You in his arms
Keeping you safe and warm
You got the voices of angels
Who can serenade
And sing you to sleep
And I'll keep you safe
Inside of your dreams

©2017 Written By Benji James

A life has been taken
A light has faded
Touched so many people
Around the world
How could someone
have done this
to such a sweet girl
She brought a warmth
To your soul
A smile from quirky ways
How could someone just go
And take her life away

Ooh Angel rest at ease
Oh Angel just sleep and dream
We will always remember you
And everything it was you did
You accomplished so much
Yes you did, so much joy
So much light
that's what made you shine
Encrypt her in the stars
Yeah remembered forever
Oh Angel just rest at ease
Yeah girl please rest in peace
Just sleep and dream

Something just hit my heart
Something so pure
Gone too soon
God must have something
Big planned for you
Infected so many people
With your quirky ways
Always know how to bring a smile
To another's face
Yeah you held your arms open
to the whole world

Ooh Angel rest at ease
Oh Angel just sleep and dream
We will always remember you
And everything it was you did
You accomplished so much
Yes you did, so much joy
So much light
that's what made you shine
Encrypt her in the stars
Yeah remembered forever
Oh Angel just rest at ease
Yeah girl please rest in peace
Just sleep and dream

How could someone so good
Have such a tragic end
Doesn't that make you want to stop
And rethink absolutely everything
Taken so young,
Had so much left to give
She already gave so much
Hope we can find a way
To shine just as bright
Change the world
With your positive ways
Yeah light up the skies
With all your light
Spread love around the world tonight

Ooh Angel rest at ease
Oh Angel just sleep and dream
We will always remember you
And everything it was you did
You accomplished so much
Yes you did, so much joy
So much light
that's what made you shine
Encrypt her in the stars
Yeah remembered forever
Oh Angel just rest at ease
Yeah girl please rest in peace
Just sleep and dream

©2017 Written By Benji James