Why do I feel so lonely hanging from this orchard?
So many others yet the feeling of solitude binds to me,
And the thoughts start to seep in.
You will never be good enough to feel the warm soothing touch
Of the farmer choosing you for a new purpose,
You are too undeserving of ripening.

So the orchard that is life will decide it’s my time to be let go.
Abused by the fall I descend to the bottom.
I am now the apple that has fallen too far from the tree,
On the inside I rot normally
But on the outside I am black and blue.

I see you in the distance as you lay scattered all over the floor,
I immediately take on the responsibility of fixing you.
I pick up each piece carefully to avoid breaking you even more.
I do not mind the cuts I get nor the thick red blood dripping from my hands,
I have fixed before
So why should you be any different.
The more of you I put together the less of you there is,
Not enough to restore you fully.
I begin taking pieces of myself to substitute the ones you're missing.
With each part of me I give to you I become weaker,
Until I eventually fall to the ground and shatter.
The only thing I regret is not being strong enough to….fix…you…..

I’m corruption
But you are my corruptor,
Ever since I met you
I now go home and wash the  stench of the day away with sin,
Such a sweet and pleasant scent it is,
Truly I am addicted
And because of you
I have been changed into something greater Then I once was,
And slowly I am becoming the person I am meant to be.
Or am I….

Throughout the years of embracing the darkness of this world
I have come to realize that in fact you are the darkness,
And I am nothing more than the entertainer,
In your lonely life.
You keep me around to fill the void that you placed within yourself.

I already love,
Or so I think I do?
But if I truly did then what is this feeling now,
This complete fascination I have with you.
I do not want to love another when I already love?
But this feeling has a symbiotic relationship with me
It needs me to survive,
And I willingly give it nourishment,
Constantly I tell my self that these,
emotions washing over me are unknown
Even though I clearly understand their nature.
My accelerated heart beat screams the answer,
This is the first time I’ve ever felt such…..
Such desire for someone.

As the thought of you now floods my mind,
I cant help but feel such guilt.
I need to drill a hole in my head to pour you out,
But no matter how hard I try
the memories of you quickly coagulate
So nothing can escape.
I feel that you will be forever lurking in the back of my head
And from now on any thought I have
You will be the outline for it.