she killed herself.
and no one cared.
except for the kind stranger at the bus stop that she saw every friday.
but no one cared about that stranger.
so the stranger killed herself too.
and thus,
society was created.

I went down with the Titanic.
I never said a word.
I was too enthralled with the stunning beauty of that magnificent iceberg.
Sometimes tragedy and beauty can mean the same thing.

Your intelligence is divine
Oh, what a beautiful mind

Your words are verbal medicine
Oh, there is no comparison

The formation of your ideas
Create a scintillating souvenir

Your intelligence is divine
Oh, what a beautiful mind

Sometimes when I see you
I see a stranger
A beautifully mysterious stranger
It makes me want to get to know you again
For now let's just forget the romance
Let's focus on being friends

Sometimes when I see you
I see a flower
Not quite yet in bloom
It makes me want to wait for spring
To watch our love blossom again
For now let's forget the past lies
Let's focus on the present truth

Sometimes when I see you
I see a boy
An innocent boy
Not quite yet a man
It makes me want to hold your innocence
In the palm of my hand
For now let's just go with the flow
Let's forget what we had planned

i dont know you anymore
i put a sign on the door
it says,
do not enter
danger
beware
i dont know you anymore
there is nothing left

I don't believe in best friends
But I believe in you
You paint my sky cerulean blue
You give me hope to hold onto
You make my broken heart feel brand new
I don't believe in best friends
But if I did my best friend would be you

The blade feels cool against my skin
This place is so dark but strangely familiar
I pray for the courage within
To press down hard
To commit that fatal sin

The blade feels like home
The most morbid honesty I've ever known
Pain is something I can understand
Blood is a friend that I could keep around

The blade feels cool against my skin
This place is so dark but it's my reality
The blade feels cool against my skin
The blade will set me free

If I keep saying sorry
Will it lessen the pain?
Will it soften the blow?

If I keep saying sorry
Will it make it feel better?
Will it make the scene change?

If I keep saying sorry
Will I turn into the good guy?
Will it make you stop crying?

If I keep saying sorry
Will it repair this carnage?
Will it clean up this mess?

I know that you'll find someone eventually
I know that it will make this broken heart bleed
I know that you will love her forever
Instead of for just one night
I know you will not leave her unrequited

I know you'll find someone eventually
I'll pretend I'm happy for you
I'll never reveal the reality
I'll hug her, smile and pretend to be her friend
I'll hide my emotions so I don't lose you completely

I know that you'll find someone eventually
She'll be everything I'm not and more
She will give you her heart and you will give her yours
She'll be everything that you've been looking for

I know that you will someone eventually
I know that someone will never be me

it was fun to watch you fall down the stairs
until the moment i realised
you had broken your neck

a joke can be so funny
even hilarious
a joke can keep you laughing
long after it's been said

it was fun to watch you falling
to watch you miss your step
but why am i still laughing at your death?

the communication was lost between us
like a broken radio connection
the static was deafening
your voice
faded
into
nothing

Cold was the winter air when you broke the news to me

Anger was the first emotion that I remember feeling

Grey was the colour that everything turned, like all the colours had been evaporated

Gone were all the dreams that we ever created

Cold was the winter air when you broke the news to me

Forgiveness builds my faith

Answers aren't always obvious but they are there all the same

I've spent a lifetime learning how to be faithful

Trusting in what is invisible

Heaven is ultimately why I stick with it

Honesty comes in the form of two
Almond shaped eyes

In their deep blue ocean gaze
There is no room for lies

The storyteller who owns them
Is a man so integral and wise

I came to him looking for truth,

I left satisfied.

the madness crept into your reality
clouding the truth
corrupting your soul
stripping your innocence
the madness took over your reality
now your identity is blurred
and who you are
is not
who you were.

Your heart is beautiful even though you don't have one

Your mind is as bright as a dead sun

Your heart is as kind as the darling Donald Trump

Your intelligence reminds me of Forest Gump

fiction was a place that she went for comfort
until the weight of all that is untrue
crushed her ability
to lie

the
choices
had
been
laid
out
for
me
all i had to do                          was choose

The darkness covers me like a shroud
All I can taste is rejection in my mouth
The two men that I love both let me down
Until the darkness covered all my expectations
Till I was drowning in the truth of all that I am lacking

The darkness covers me like a shroud
The blade used to help me
It used to release the pain
Now when I look at my razor blade train track scars
All I see is a body that I am trapped in
With no way out
No escape

The darkness covers me like a shroud
I dream of slashing my wrists until I completely bleed out
But I know my courage doesn't stretch that far
I pray one day it will stretch that far

The darkness covers me like a shroud
The two men that I love have shut me out
So now I'm dreaming of my final chapter
I'm designing myself an escape route

I bottled your tears
Crystalline,
Luminous,
I kept it on a shelf for display
So strange,
How something so beautifully pure
Could have been borne from pain

Pain comes in many colours,
Red.
Blue.
Green.

Red, the blood on the pavement
Blue, the deep well of depression
Green, the envy of knowing that I will never have what you have

Pain comes in many colours,
And you are colour blind.

I'm the girl that you ignored for all those years
I sat in the back row
Watching my resentment grow

You made fun of my depression tears
You were centre stage
While I was afraid

The girl grew up to be a woman
You never grew up at all

You finally learnt that we are both human
Reality turned out to be your downfall

I'm the girl that you ignored for all those years
I played the fool
While you were Little Miss Cool

Times have changed and now I am OK
You fell off your stage
Into a pitiful state

i wonder
if
you
ever
noticed
the
space in my heart that i left for you

I would rather die kind
Than live in your evil kingdom

You wanted me as your Queen
But dear that would be sacrificial slaughter

I would rather die kind
Than play your evil game

You are not my King
My King is pure and brave
And you...
You are just a tragic waste

Why tell you the truth
When you only want lies?
Why waste integrity on you,
When you'll only throw it in the fire?

i saw a beautiful woman who commanded a runway
she saw a horrible bully who had taunted her for years
i saw a man on the train who was ***** and made me uncomfortable
she saw a kind person who had smiled at her and wished her well
i saw a house that was messy and would reflect on me poorly
she saw an opportunity to keep herself busy
i saw a news story telling me the world was going to end
she saw a story telling her the world was going to end
because when the world is going to end
suddenly we are all the same

she is a broken ipod
that nobody listens to

he is an open book
that everybody reads without permission

you're a lonely outsider
wanting to be known

i'm an extraordinary orphan
finding my way home

i was always ahead of the game
i wrote the rules
decided who played
if you control the stakes
it doesnt matter how badly they lose
it isn't your loss
it isn't happening to you

i will never forget the year 2020
when one little disease turned the world into a frenzy

i saw people fight over toilet paper
it seemed like my life had been changed forever

i will never forget the year 2020
it was the wake up call we had never been expecting

Love is a bitter thing when you don't have it
Truth is an ugly thing when all you know are pretty lies
Love is a bitter thing when it passes you by

****.
You're already here and I need more time
Time, time
Time to write a very good alibi

Why?
Because you'd more than *****
Up the truth, if you heard it

Baby!

The pet name that you called me years ago
Now it's what I call the ugly thing in my belly

Ohh...
Every single pair of eyes linger on my face now
My face, my body, my name
And now you are here way too early
Or maybe too late

Yes.
I know you never knew the truth
I know I never told you
Perhaps I believed I was bullet proof
Or really I just didn't want to cause you hassle

No.
I don't hate or blame or want to **** you
I just don't want you here
You make it hard for me to dissapear
You also make it hard for me to fool myself

Empty.
The bottle, the threats, the excuses
And the supply of fluids that we used
To support my tears

What?
Don't ask me what we are doing
The last time I checked it was "I" not "We"
And my face wasn't pretty
It was *****

****.
You're actually here and you're actually not going
It looks like you really want answers
Answers of the substantial kind
I'd better brew a kettle of peppermint tea

he thought i was his *****
because that is what he called me

he thought i was his property
because he branded me with his bruises

if i am covered in seminal filth
is that all that i am?

if all i've known is abusive language
is that all i will ever understand?

he thought i was his *****
he thought my body was a market stall

that he could rob daily
no medals for bravery

but one day i changed the score
i ran out the broken screen door

into a world that does not label me
by who i was before

this healing heart
will win this gender war

The universe is crazy and I am in love with her
She has the kind of beauty that comes in with the rain

I cannot comprehend death
I cannot comprehend ending
Maybe because we never really end at all

People are so crazy
We just don't make sense
We lie and cheat and steal and ******
Yet we still have this mysterious innocence

I don't even know if things like "good" and "bad" exist
I do know that most of us are trying our best

The universe is crazy and I am in in love with her
She has the kind of beauty that is truly insane

I am more than I have ever been
I can hear somebody singing
Is that the sound of peace?
Is that the sound of a woman growing?

I am the girl inside the woman
I am the woman inside the girl
I was born into a world of men
I grew braver than ten of them

I am more than I have ever been
I am the strength inside the struggle
I am the hope inside the horror
I am the phoenix flying free

I am more than I have ever been
I was a prisoner, now I am queen
I can hear the sound of peace
I can hear the sound of a woman growing

I won the war
You asked if I was proud
I could never feel pride
For having to fight
In the first place
I won the war
I'm left with the thought
What were we even fighting for?

Hold onto me and I'll disappear
Let go of me and I'll stay for years

Truth has a tendency to be mistaken
Love is both as invisible and valuable as oxygen
Peace just happens to be friends with both of them

lets just cut the *******
lets just call this what it is
this is a beautiful vase
fallen into the abyss  
broken into pieces

we are trying to find the glue
the tape
anything to put us back in place
what if there is no fix?
what if this is it?

lets just cut the *******
and call a ***** a *****
i tried to dig myself an escape
i ended up digging myself a grave

so bury me here on this beautiful beach
where we met so many years ago
lets just call this what it is
the end of a very long road

Let's not pretend that this is more than what it really is

I don't need you to love me so don't get any ideas

I don't need you to call me or to pretend that you will

Let's not fool ourselves with love when that wasn't in the deal

Let's not pretend that this is more than what it really is

Leave your heart outside the door and slip into this skin