I don't live in my past anymore.
I packed up and moved on.
I suppose that is why I told you of my childhood.
Its just odd to me.
Because I've never been open before.
I guess this is a start.

You are water and I am fire.
When I blaze with rage that can't be contained, you put me out.
And when you're cold and feel drained, I make you steam with lust.
And while we are different on so many levels.
But at our cores we are the same.

I want to walk out on my tin roof.
But I know I'll fall through.
Just like I want to help.
But I doubt you'll let me.
Just like I want to walk 2500 miles to see someone new.
But my feet won't let me.
Maybe I'll try the roof.

I don't even know why I stay awake anymore.
I suppose its because while everyone else is asleep I have time to think.
But when have my thoughts ever helped anyone?
They don't even help me.

I have no love for the city I was born in.
Its not that its bad place to grow up.
But there has to be more to this world.
And I need to soak it in while my mind and body are still young.
Before my Love for adventure is choked out by the monotony of life.

Its all too familiar the way my life is now.
I wonder how it will end this time.
I guess we'll wait and see.

Of the moment when my friends helped me face my fear.
Of the moment when I gave up on being afraid of what others think.
Of the nervous smile you had when I walked over to you.
Of the smile I think you'll have when you read this.

My mind is tired, but my eyes cannot shut.
My hands want to write, but my soul cannot utter a word.
I did everything I could, but it wasn't enough.
So what does one do when he can't do anything.
I'm not sure anymore.
Because it seems I've spent so many days awake.
That I've forgotten how to sleep.

She cried when I told her I didn't need her.
She said that she had a need to be needed (whatever that means).
And that she would feel better knowing I needed her to be happy.
And while I apologized for bringing tears to her eyes my answer didn't change.

Because I don't need another person to go on journey's with me.
Because I already have all I need to be happy.
And while I would love for her to come with me.
At the end of the day I know she won't.
Because soon she'll realize that she doesn't need me.
And that's okay with me.

As I stand on the beach and let the tide over take my legs I wonder.
Where are you going?
Why did you have to leave?
The thing is I already know these answers.
Maybe I just like talking to myself at 6 a.m before people show up and bug me.
Cause who wants a crazy guy who talks to himself ruining their beach time.

Everyone expects me to know what to do.
I'm supposed to be the one who knows where he's going.
I'm supposed to be the one who will make everyone proud.
I guess we're all in for a reality check.
Because a year from now if I have it my way.
All those expectations will be disappear.
Just like the bridges I crossed to get here.

I was once a ghost.
I would float through the halls passing by my peers.
And it was very rare anyone took notice of me.
I liked being a ghost.
But now people can see me.
I'm still blurry to most.
And I'm glad that the person who saw me first all those years ago hiding under a table.
Still sees me clearer than anyone else.

You ask me to tell you about myself.
And honestly I would like to share myself with you.
As long as you share yourself with me too.
But I wonder how much of me you'll want to see when you realize.
I'm not all light underneath.

Try me on again like you did once before.
Who knows maybe I'll fit better now.

Its too late and I think I need a drink.
Something that will make my throat burn.
At this point I don't even care if its coffee or *****.
I just want to sit here and let my mind blur.
Flash me pictures of my past or give me a glimpse of the future.
Just show me something.
Because when I look out my window all I see is black.
Maybe that's what I need to see right now.
I guess that's okay.
Just like I guess 2500 miles isn't that far away.

This I'll admit is not what I'm used to.
But that's a good thing.
I actually feel that I know you.
And right now that's what I need.
I know you need your time I know I needed mine.

I have no idea where I'm going.
But I'll never get there by slowing down.
So I will walk on.
Until my feet no longer touch the ground.

You asked me why I chose you.
Out of everyone why did I single out you to be the one.
Its because whenever I'm with you I can just smile and forget.
My past, my future, my pains, my faults.
You bring me a joy that I haven't felt in a while.
That is why I chose you to be the one whose lips I shall press with mine.

After today there is no other way to say it.
It doesn't mean I'm any less concerned if anything I'm more so.
Because now I have something to lose.
But it also means I have something to fight for.

I doubt our lips will ever touch again.
And I really don't mind at all
Who knows maybe one day this ice will melt.
And maybe we could still be friends.

Here we are again sitting laughing just like we did back then.
You know the pain you caused me.
And I don't regret my sins.
But when I look into your eyes I know we could be happy again.