I left you
For no good reason
(I mean, apart from the plane tickets)
I left in our in-between season
Not just physically;
I checked out before then.
I checked out emotionally;
And my god did you know!

You kicked and screamed
You've got a sailor's mouth
Ranging from "******* anyways." To "please,we'll work something out."
It was the best thing for you
I knew you'd meet someone real
Only I didn't know how badly others would treat you, didn't know the deal.
They held you and hurt you
They caressed and scraped
They kissed and bit;
And a hollow girl they made

But I'll stay for now,if only through
Poetry and codes;
And maybe someday again,
We'll intertwine our roads.

She's here gathering more of her things.
Keeps asking if I want this and that, and I'm sick
With the flu under a blanket on the sofa

Watching my muse quit, from
Deep inside my sweater hood.
Droplets of fever on my forehead,
And she can't keep from touching my face
Every time she walks by.
I turn my mouth against her palm and
Close my eyes. Knees buckle. She
Whimpers.

Something dying that
Tries to not
Want to
Live.

It's so easy to hold either white or black when I wake to find you sleeping.
It's the feather fear
Like standing bliss at Cliffside
Like a battle heavy purpose.
I don't want to find myself screaming in the dark water, watching your creases ripple in the light.

I hope she was worth
The pain you put me through
I hope she can hold you closer
Than when I wrapped my soul around you
I hope she can make you smile brighter
Than when I made you laugh
I hope she can sing to you sweeter
Than when I sung your name
I hope her words have more meaning
Than when I said “I love you - always and forever”
I hope that she never makes you feel pain
The way you claim I made you endure
I hope when you see her –
She’s all that you want to see
I hope she was worth it
I hope she was worth all the tears
That I shed for you
After you left me for her