This quest for love… vanity
Trying for acceptance… vanity
Expecting fair treatment… vanity
Longing for friendship… vanity

Misery is the only constant I have
Death and misery and my vanity

I’m struggling to stay afloat here
Lost in this sea of you and your emotions
The salt water spray stings my eyes
I need some fresh water before I die of thirst

Person 1:
So how was your long weekend?
Me:
Uhmmm great

Person 2:
Did you have a great holiday?
Me:
Yeah of course

Me:
Why do I lie to everyone?
Me:
It’s what we do so they don’t know we’re miserable just like everyone else is

*sigh

There’s something magical about 3AM
It calls me awake almost nightly

Sometimes I’ll sit outside then
Just to listen to the wind dance

It’s peaceful there in the calm
I can feel that peace in my soul

I don’t discount that comfort
Because it’s few and far between

How do you feel
When you trained yourself not to
I’m sorry
I don’t want you to hurt
That’s not what I’m going for
I just **** up a lot
Forgive me now
And forgive me when I ***** up again
My imperfections run deep

I’m a coward
A liar
An adulterer
A fool
No one cares
Why should they
Paint my name in the skies
Turn the world against me
Maybe I’ll just keep surviving
It’s the only thing I’ve ever done well
Even then just barely

The funny thing about how hearts work
Is that sometimes they just stop
Not really sure how to fix that part