let'
s lay our bones against each others
and grind a bit Dear

                (Dear lady)

Grind their playful angles
and if it hurts a bit my dear
         (my long Dear
                My lithe dear
                   my ample skinny little hips Dear)

well then we.ll shovel abruptly
our callous gloating hands
all about each others bodies
and barely shatter silence
    with

         our common sensual howls

I can't have kids.
Now that I said it just please accept it.
I could lie to you and say I was in some sort of horrible accident that rendered me sterile.
I could lie and say his ***** is slower than fish swimming in a barrel.
I could lie and say we wish for such a miracle. but we don't.

at the end of the day my mind is rattling. in the morning it never wants to start. when I try to think about happiness then an arrow deflates my heart. nerves and worries are like sparrows nests in my head. i cry for those that lived, i cry for those that are dead, and i cry for myself because my mind has never tried producing enough chemicals to make me happy. it's not the run of the mill stuff, it's deep **** treading through and it is rough.

I see no reason to bring a kid into this place. If it were diabetes or heart problems people would respect my decision space. without children i feel no sadness. it's one less soul that doesn't have to see my mind's madness.

I could pick you and
pull the pretty petals of your lies
to my lips

I could have your stain

I could inhale you
and feel the alveoli burst
tissue melting away

I could have your breath

I could look at you
and believe that your eyes say 'love'
when they look back into mine

I could have you...