I took a shower tonight.
But I didn't wash my hair
Or my body or my face
Or even my toes.
I took a shower tonight.
And although the water was as hot as it can go
I stepped in and my whole body froze
From my hair
To my body to my face
To my toes.
I took a shower tonight.
And I just sat on the shower floor
I put my face in my knees
Let the billion clear little razors
Roll down my back
And down the drain.
I didn't cry.
I didn't break down.
I took a shower tonight.
And I just sat on the ground
And I sat in the shower.
Till the hot water turned cold.
Three hours of sitting
of mini razor blades rolling gently down my back
And in just a moment.
I'll get in my bed.
And I'll lay.
For about six to seven hours.
Until seven am
And then I'll put on my eyeliner
And be on my way.

the flesh covers the bone
and they put a mind
in there and
sometimes a soul,
and the women break
vases against the walls
and the men drink too
much
and nobody finds the
one
but keep
looking
crawling in and out
of beds.
flesh covers
the bone and the
flesh searches
for more than
flesh.

there's no chance
at all:
we are all trapped
by a singular
fate.

nobody ever finds
the one.

the city dumps fill
the junkyards fill
the madhouses fill
the hospitals fill
the graveyards fill

nothing else
fills.

during my worst times
on the park benches
in the jails
or living with
******
I always had this certain
contentment-
I wouldn't call it
happiness-
it was more of an inner
balance
that settled for
whatever was occuring
and it helped in the
factories
and when relationships
went wrong
with the
girls.
it helped
through the
wars and the
hangovers
the backalley fights
the
hospitals.
to awaken in a cheap room
in a strange city and
pull up the shade-
this was the craziest kind of
contentment

and to walk across the floor
to an old dresser with a
cracked mirror-
see myself, ugly,
grinning at it all.
what matters most is
how well you
walk through the
fire.

Red like the regret,
lying around as ashes
from the blaze of the
fire that caught up
in your lies, deceit.

Red as the sky bleeds
her despair raw,
as the wound deepens,
into her veins.

Red like the memories,
spilled like the blood
of the innocent.

Red as the regret
consumes the sanity
away from the sane.

I looked at you
and then you looked at me
and I noticed
That you my dear
well
You have the eyes of a refugee
Eyes solemnly speaking eulogies
Or not-so-kool-ogies
In desperate need of Sun
Or Fathers
Maybe mothers that bothered
To look and
See
That you
You have the eyes of a refugee
Let me
Borrow your sorrow
And hold it a while
Let's talk miles in minutes
And move mere inches in hours
Let's bake a cake
Then forget flour
**** it I'm down for just chocolate instead
While we lie in this bed
I'll whisper tales untold
Of your refugee eyes and how they're the warmest brown gold
They speak your secrets unconsciously
But in Confidence I'll hold
You up to the light!
As if you were a gem...
I'm trying to catch every facet
While we clean out this closet
Throw out all the bones
Human or chicken variety
Whichever you'll confess them to be
I'm just trying to figure out how someone like you
Inherited those eyes that look
Like that of a refugee