Crucified
by my own hands
Polarized
by my own choices
Settled
by self medication
Debated
by self evaluation

Fate beckons you onwards
Not caring what you have
Nor who you are
What you leave behind
Nor what you become
In due time
You will be a whisper
Amongst those forgotten
Begging the next person onwards

felt like i lived
and died
for your love
and acceptance
always suffocating
gasping for your words
racked up so many wounds
when you were holding me
since then i wish i could say
that things have changed
oh how they haven't
still waiting for the day
i hear you even softly mutter
that i'm enough

broken roses
and busted dreams
nothing ends well
or so it seems
the emptiness will consume
and clarity will
find you soon

I tried to
show me
Why I
loathe me
I sit in
the dark
Cause I can't
stand me
Doesn't matter if
I say
I'm sorry
to myself
There's no
forgiving me
I know that
the thing
That disgusts me
is me

lose everything
still pay a price
do anything for love
still consumed by hate
take all roads to freedom
still imprisoned in myself

i used to
complain and whine
about how poorly
life was going
how the world
had been so unkind
it is now clear to me
i cannot be the victim
while trying to be the victor