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Atticus Jun 2019
I left my house again today
                                                                               much like the day before

Followed the trodden path of my memory
to the gates, I swore I would not enter any more

                                                        Your waiting hand was gone like that                                                                    
                                                         of the promises of a father who won't         come home

Grounded in place, the cast iron gate creaked and rattled with a passion that rivalled lovers who live apart

Forgotten I stood in the garden of our hearts
prone and lifeless

Yet I cannot let the letters go
the letters with "return to sender" in vibrant red ink

The letters that once tied us together
one human being connected by a delicate thread like that of spider silk

If I were to let you go and lock the cast iron gate with a heavy rusted padlock
it would mean locking away the parts of my soul that help me feel and connect
when will the yearning I have for you disappear, will it take years?
I honestly don't know.
but the stolen glances we share are an indicator of what we still feel for one another
  Jun 2019 Atticus
cleo
the day i was cast out into the world
through *******
they looked between mine
and declared, simply:
“it’s a girl”.

we’re taught to be ashamed
of who we are
that people like me, like us,
are freaks of nature.

told me the body i was given
this body, is sacred.
that i should never tamper with it.
that it’s blasphemous to trespass
on divine territory.

(who knew i could be a trespasser in my own home?)

you point to the sky,
tell me
god doesn’t make mistakes.
turn that finger back on me, on us,
spew ridicule for the ones we’re supposedly making
for merely having the courage to be.

what is it that makes doctors and parents alike
so reluctant to believe that
there are other colors out there
besides pink and blue?

the lines are blurring ––
[**** robin thicke]
this is not a phase.
this choice was not mine to make
(unlike the one you made for me).
don’t tell me who or what i am.

i didn’t climb out of one box
just to be shoved into another.
  Jun 2019 Atticus
Ansley
The sun dances on her hair,
The brown echoing the colour of both her eyes and her freckles
As she dances through the sunflowers that are taller than her.
The other girl almost starts wondering how long it can last.
But she doesn't because
She promised the other girl that she wouldn't.
She also promised she would not pay attention to the siren or how it is getting very hot,
and very bright,
very fast.
They're out in the middle of a field for their last few minutes, trying to make happy last forever, which I find I try to do more often than I should.
  Jun 2019 Atticus
Stephen S
I just want some calm.
But my body won't allow it.
The strain of this life
threatens to pull me apart
like a worn piece of paper.

All I can do
is take a deep breath
and pray
I can keep things together
just a little longer.
  Jun 2019 Atticus
Sky
I know that I am good,
that I am a lightly colored soul,

But sometimes I feel the darkness
welling up inside—
I force it onto myself
so that I don’t hurt anyone else.
Atticus Jun 2019
I want to slash at my skin with the same intensity that the beehive in my skeletal frame has when the worker bees attempt to seal all the broken parts of me sickly sweet

I want to scream so that It goes hoarse because if I’m not being heard what’s the point of having one anyway

I want to take the weight of their spines lift the broken onto my shoulders so that the shrapnel embedded feet they own no longer have to sink deeper
Embedded further

I want to feel love like the love my parents have in the subtle ways  that they check in on each other
In the small favours, they do for each other

More so

I want to hear her voice say the words I have always longed to hear the words that I know won’t be said the words that are difficult to comprehend
  May 2019 Atticus
eileen
when I was young
I had big eyes
full of truth
full of youth
full of dreams

brown like the soil a flower grows

eyes that saw the
infinite sky
stars swam inside
carried sunshine

Where's the love
Where's the color
Where's the vision

I've always listened

I can't see
what you're trying to show me

when I was young
I saw the world

now my eyes are small
I don't believe anymore
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