Dear lover,

I know you'll never see this,
So I'm hoping it's okay,
to say these words out in the open
Because I can't say them to you.

Every day we talk,
always from wake to sleep.
with each day that comes by
the connection I feel is deep.
I know what we talked about,
everything we discussed.
This was only casual,
but I want to take it back.

I'm so scared of relationships,
I'm so scared to trust.
I know that you're the same as me,
but I want us to make it work.
I know I can't say this to you,
because once i do, we're gone.

I'll pen this letter to an end,
But let me just say this.
J'ai des sentiments pour toi ma douce

Now let the casual roll on.

Nerves are running wild,
my breath is slightly hitched.
Anxiety's creeping up on me,
I can barely think.

Afraid of disappointment.
Afraid to disappoint.
One step before the other,
prepared for someone new.

He charms me with a smile,
then extends a hand.
My palms are getting clammy,
and my pulse is racing too.

The breeze flows in from the door,
the sun is shining bright.
Currawong's singing in the trees,
With the aroma of bitter coffee.

We breeze through introductions,
sit and chat for a while.
There I thought it was going well,
until he developed a temper.

With no good reason he seemed to snap,
started causing a scene.
Sinked so low into my chair,
of course this happened to me.

Some time passed, he calmed himself,
but i think i'd made my decision.
got to the end and he turned to me,
"We should do this again".

"I don't think this is going to work",
I said sorry then took my leave.

The window pane leaves morning chills,
Dew fogs up the glass.
Little bumps across my skin,
Winter's coming in.

A crochet blanket, hand-stitched with love,
Strewn across my Duvet.
But when head turned left, there's vacancy
of someone right beside me.

The touch of another human,
This kiss from another soul.
Warmth that would be inside me,
Isn't there anymore.

Somedays I wonder how long it'll take,
till I meet the perfect balance
But until that day comes, i'll sink into my sheets
And let the mornings pass me over.

A sea of brown and green lay at my feet,
with subtle movement i can hear them clink.
Some are empty, some are unfinished.
But for right now it doesn't even matter.

Stained cheeks of watered ink,
Salt that's mixed with sadness.
A heart of pain, a lifetime's worth.
Filled with remorse and regret.

Embers burn your words of love,
it's right there in the fire.
with a broken trust, pages are torn,
like I never even mattered.

My fingers, cold, only at the tips
as I clutch the final letter.
turns out you were no good for me,
and I was no good for you.

the spaces where things used to be,
all silhouetted from dust.
this place that once belonged to us
is now home to me and my bottles.

Somewhere I lost a piece in me.
It’s all covered in the past.
Fog and smoke surround my mind,
The voices they echo inside.

What have I become?

Feelings of none I’m only numb,
A shiver lingers down my spine.
That piece once me now empty,
Not free

What has happened to me?

Days I cry a river like Nile,
But nothing soothes my pain.
The echoes inside are now in screams,
Between people bound to rings.
Pressured chest and clutched breath

This never use to be me.

I’m so lost in pain, like stitches pulled
I can kick and claw for a better tomorrow,
But I just don’t feel like it today.

Maybe this is how it’s supposed to be.