A gifted mask disguising the curse
Each time tricking me.
It feels so good
It feels too much
Then it quickly abandons me.

Manic leftovers now surround me
What’s so good now rotten and stale
Go back to bed,
reminders
I’ll never truly know me

What is it?

Comfort from stories you sought comfort before?
Eyes untouched by your demons?
Visions of becoming the best version of yourself?
Hungry ears devouring your stories?

Confusing calm for plain and boring.
Seeking dysfunction.
Problems created existing outside you,
hoping it gets loud enough.
Drowning out what’s within you.
Your soul doesn’t knock anymore?

This void that fed something
Replaced by hunger.
I’m homesick..
I miss you.

Willing misinterpretation of disappointment. Crafted intentions of abandonment.
Disguising what’s yours to retain integrity. You’ve always had your way out plotted. Hiding from the one you showed your duality,

I’ve always known you.
And this is just something you do repeatedly.

The Witch of Estelle
Found her her vision.
for the Witch of Estelle found her His vision.
His vision of found
In this world for His sound.
For the Witch of Estelle, found her His Vision.

On 13th September
A fires quaint ember
Spoke what’s not spoken,
yet membered.
A mind for He sought,
with furnace for thought,
wisdom and secrets,
crafts and of demons.
All left unspoken,
yet remembered.

The chime of common things
Keeps time with chords of wind
Calls me a soft note
In the music of the spheres

Be willing to move forward
And come towards the light
Do not suffer in silence
Just make your world bright
Treacherous terrains will appear
They will try to drive you off course
Continue to climb up the ladder
Be that motivating force

How can I shut up

When the world is in chains
And tears flowing in rivers
And smile  dried on faces
And blood flood on the streets
As equity is in prison
As truth falling in the street
To shut up is to die unborn.

what happens when i no longer like your pink, sweet, version of me you’ve curated?
what would happen if i erased all colour completely?

no, i’m not talking about choosing blue over pink or yellow or green
“gender neutral” clothing isn’t any shade on the colour wheel

i’m talking about if i never associated the colour pink with femininity
and blue with masculinity

and yellow and green with “gender neutrality”

what if my life was just void of colour?

like if i were to say i didn’t feel like a girl nor a boy
nor the brief possibility of both

i just feel
like that grey space in between the most diluted shades on the colour wheel

would you still force me to call myself “daughter”?