Winter one day, summer the next
we don't have a spring
this was my early morning text
to my friend in Beijing

Yesterday i wore a sweater
today it is shorts
i never know what to do better
hit the gym or tennis courts

then suddenly it started raining
while through came his reply
stop your whining and complaining
at least you can see the sky

Did you know that we all are
composed of stellar matter
each of us was once a star
all it's sparkly pieces scatter

and this notion is so clear
a belief i cling to tightly
there are people i know here
who like stars still shine so brightly

On the day that my world ends
I'll order some Chinese
inviting all of my best friends
then with my poems please

I'll also get a few nice wines
as some might find them boring
don't want to read my funniest lines
and hear some of them snoring

might also hire a hot masseuse
i won't mind extra spending
my poems are of little use
without a happy ending

Jesus was a funny dude
i heard it through a rumour
to those around him he was good
with a cracking sense of humour

he could turn water into wine
and helped the blind to see
he would be a top mate of mine
if i lived in 32 AD

his jokes brought people from the dead
known as miracles back then
and if you knew him you'll be so well fed
with his twelve best mates, amen

It wasn’t love at first sight
but at second glance I think
The first time she threw up all night
from far too much to drink

She vomited on my brand new shirt
and loudly at me swore
She was covered all with dirt
from rolling on the floor

But when she finally sobered up
our love became so clear
when she poured into a cup
her morning wake up beer

If our leaders were female
there would be no more wars
With extra spending in retail
while men do household chores

The sale of guns would be suspended
and replaced with flowers
Weekends would be all extended
along with shopping hours

Their policies joy would be bringing
and much more might get done
Our anthem being Cindy singing
"Girls Just Wanna Have Fun"

or it might be "Heal the World"
like it was sung by Michael
before into a war were hurled
when they coincide their menstrual cycle

I spotted a large mob
standing by the shore
There washed up was this huge blob
from the ocean floor

They poked at it with sticks
and some took photographs
A few threw rocks and gave it kicks
and you could hear their laughs

Then suddenly quiet it got
The blob began to throb
and then it swallowed the whole lot
with its almighty gob

From distance i could tell
that it had spotted me
It burped a massive last farewell
then vanished in the sea

my head is always in the clouds
high above the ground
far away from noisy crowds
a dream home i have found

and is it there i fill my head
with endless useless dribble
to this distant place i've fled
where with my heart i scribble

and there, there's nothing to achieve
of nothing to be proud
that is why i choose to live
on a fluffy cloud

shower, **** and shave
the order doesn't matter  
and if i'm feeling very brave
all at once the better  

socks, jocks and pants
the first shirt from the line
and to the office i'll have a chance
to make it there by nine

work and work then play
drink and dance and mingle
every night and every day
**** it's so good being single

Sometimes the truth is hard to swallow
you can choke and die
so a new diet now I follow
where my every word’s a lie

he was a posh and pompous cat
with fur as smooth as silk
who didn't care much for a pat
or a bowl of milk

his claws were always manicured
with teeth sharp as a knife
in french he only out loud purred
next to his feline wife

who whilst being tiny and petite
was a clever cat
guess which cat landed on their feet
and which one went splat

No man is an island
but some are like continents
with a massive highland
and no top button on their pants

give the world back to the bees
the dolphins and the whales
black swans, white storks, wild geese
the cheetahs and the snails

give the world back to the leopards
the chickens and the goats
free the sheep from all the shepherds
and fish from fishing boats

give the world back to the fleas
and let them bite your ****
give the world back, do it please
before our home is Mars

they came to me at night
once more as i expected
they were as black as Anthracite
and all my dreams infected

they choked my every breath
me slowly suffocating
they spoke bout darkness and of death
my heart out loud pulsating

then on the hopeless sky
there rose a sphere of light
and once more i was rescued by
my full moon shining bright

My favourite constellation was Orion
It's what i always felt
Through summer nights i've had my eye on
his shiny three star belt

He always was a poignant figure
in his huntsman possie
there was no dream that could be bigger
for a small young aussie

but years later boy became a man
and dreams came to an end
till i discovered rhyme from a pen
and found my hunting friend

My love for you is true
like one plus one is two
In every other calculation
my love is part of the equation
and if i minus or i plus
the answer always equals us
It's true that numbers never lie
my love is endless just like Pi

living underneath a rock
wouldn't be so terrible
without daylight and no clock
i might find preferable

where it's always quiet and cosy
with only raindrops tapping
hidden from those who are nosy
and their constant clacking

where no news is permeating
of all the worldwide violence
and only thing that's for me waiting
is a happy silence

on this idea i am sold
it fits me nice and snug
by my wife i am already called
a lazy useless slug

We die and paint with words
our feelings blood red flow
with a paintbrush like a sword
delivering every blow

We hurt and cry in blue
our tears are like rain
and every time we think of you
our dreams will scream in pain

and we will love the suns first ray
then shine like stars at night
so when we die our words will say
a heart once used to write

time is a thief
with two very grubby hands
he makes the fun times brief
and shortens our weekends

then weekdays he stands still
especially nine to five
and makes our Mondays feel
that we might not survive

but then he’s on the move again
my watch is to him set
and he won’t stop till God knows when
or when my battery's flat

Walk and do not run
but don't sit around all day
Don't get burnt but get some sun
Work and rest and play

Believe but do not preach
be real but have your dreams
Live a little bit in each
don't do anything in extremes

Life has a perfect fit
and the key is moderation
because your life will still be ****
but between diarrhea and constipation

i wish that i were someone else
someone better looking
no longer be that guy that smells
and incapable of cooking

but someone who demands respect
and obviously much taller
not having to continuously act
to earn my every dollar

and someone with a lot more hair
the type that's on your head
not like myself who's more a bear
who hasn't yet been fed

but perhaps i should be only me
it's probably best i think
because it doesn't matter whom i'll be
my poems will still stink

A very long time ago
a fish jumped from the sea
It's fins to legs began to grow
and soon it climbed a tree

Then a couple epochs later
i don't know exactly when
but some then started walking straighter
evolving into a man

But the theory of evolution
is not working all so well
as there is still a large distribution
of men who of fish smell

the curtains will stay drawn today
in half the candles cut
TV has orders not to play
and all the books be shut

the lamp knows that it wont be used
and kettle will not sing
all cups of tea will be refused
and phone will not dare ring

the pen will not spill any ink
the towels will stay dry
same will happen to the sink
and clothes on the floor lie

this couch shall not give out a creak
but in its depths me swallow
beneath these blankets i must seek
a window to tomorrow

Tonight my hugs are free
because you've been so nice
you can have one, two or three
with kisses at half price

Everything will be reduced
and heavily discounted
so hopefully you will be seduced
and into my arms shunted

So hurry throw yourself at me
this chance won't last forever
tonight we should make history
from my greatest sale ever

Me speak english very good
people say me nice
and me never very rude
and me never lies

Me is working hard and long
and have many skill
Me is happy and is strong
but me nobody ****

Me is at work never drinking
maybe little bit
because too much me is thinking
me somebody hit

but me come work every day
and you pay me money
but if one day you not pay
me not very funny

I was friends with Mike
we used to ride a bike
then I was friends with Charlie
together ride his Harley
and now I'm friends with Shane
who flies an aeroplane
but one friend i want still
is walk the moon with Neil

It's just you and me
a blanket and the covers
a pillow, two or three
it's all that's needed by two lovers

A clear and starry night
A moon that is a crescent
it's the only light
that's in our room present

with only our hearts beating
until the night is through
and i can't wait to be repeating
our meeting just for two

i made friends with a bird
at my work during lunch
then a second and then a third
then an entire hungry bunch

they ate out of my plate
and even from my hand
every day we had a date
at twelve thirty planned

but after daylight savings
the clocks changed all of that
i found a new friend with hunger cravings
i made friends with a rat

Being a man of great distinction
i won't be renown
a much more colorful depiction
is me being a clown

at first i may seem being mysterious
with a strange demeanor
but just when you think i am serious
i laugh like a hyena

most find my attitude annoying
and treat me as a fool
but i have been my life enjoying
since passing circus school

I'm not into eating out
with fancy dishes fed
give me a bowl of sauerkraut
with some crusty bread

i don't need to out loud laugh
with Le Chateau blah blah blah
give me a glass of homemade stuff
and I'll be ha ha ha

and i don't care if your thighs
don't fit in your old jeans
with beauty in your heart and eyes
we'll live like kings and queens

my wife went window shopping
and apparently found a door
through which there was no stopping
from buying half the store

apparently we’re in desperation
for new things for the house
perhaps also a decoration
like shoes, a skirt and blouse

there will never be another sale
such prices I won’t find
apparently i know nothing about retail
and apparently also blind

Sometimes love takes time
arrives with no surprise
takes a lot more than one dime
to win the grand first prize

You have to invest wisely
and pay with all your heart
then you might see it progressing nicely
on your life's Gannt chart

But with the deadline looming
you might need to act fast
or have you wrongly been assuming
love will forever last

this year can go to hell
if it were a flower
like a hobo it would smell
who for a whole year didn't shower

this year is completely wrong
there is no way to put it
but if it were this year best song
all day i would mute it

this year if it were a race
and you were on a horse
you would finish in last place
while horse may fare much worse

this year has so much harm done
and hurt all of us plenty
so please hurry twenty twenty one
and *uck off twenty twenty

The most important time is now
let tomorrow wait
don't freak out, don't have a cow
enjoy what's on your plate

and drink what's in your glass
laugh until you're blue
do not fret, don't make a fuss
until today is through

so when tomorrow's finally here
stare it in the face
then tell it loudly without fear
my yesterday you can't replace

We discovered life on Mars
It’s really no surprise
It’s not just us among the stars
There are these Martian guys

It happened when a Martian rover
Suddenly was found
Hacked to pieces and turned over
With strange signs on the ground

Then transmissions all went dead
As the last image caused a shock
When on the Martian soil it said
Go back to your own rock

So much nonsense you can talk
from that outlet in your head
Smelling like a three day sock
or like something's in there dead

Talking ******* all day long
in a never ending cycle
Your words in the trash belong
none are worthy to recycle

There is nothing you can tell
which is easy on the nose
Writing this I can already smell
this poem decompose

With you i wake up every day
and then sing in the shower
my hair has stopped from turning grey
i don't swear during rush hour

With you my life feels without issues
and happier is my cat
i haven’t bought a box of tissues
since the day we met

With you my armpits are less sweaty
my shirts are wrinkle free
and when it rains it's like confetti
when you are next to me

When I’m with you i now can sleep
and not from nightmares scream
all of the night, without a peep
with you in every dream

My home is all i want
I don't want to travel
World's mysteries i don't
want to see or unravel

Give me my tiny couch
and my coffee table
where I banged my knee, ouch
and tripped on my power cable

Where so many glasses
of wine have been filled
A home is where there's many splashes
from when my heart has spilled

Why are our oceans salty, why ?
couldn't they be sweet
or made of chocolate oh my oh my
I'd dip more than my feet

Why are our deserts made of sand
and not of flour why ?
world hunger would then surely end
I'd less from hunger cry

Why are our ice caps melting fast
like icing on a cake
we must change our ways, we must
and quicker our cakes bake

Women and their shoes
It's all they care about
a different pair they need to choose
each time they're going out

Wearing the same pair twice
is a fashion fail
so they will pay whatever price
whenever there's a sale

and with the change of seasons
that's when they all cut loose
It's just one of many reasons
why they need more shoes

and as she's standing there
waiting in the queue
you'll see her buy that perfect pair
in pink and brown and red and blue

After man is gone
who will next dominate
will it be a deep sea prawn
our world contaminate ?

maybe it will be our pets
they've had the best training
will it be our dogs or cats
our resources draining ?

perhaps a little gastropod
will break out into action
with their whole entire squad
blaze a trail of destruction

but i think deep from outer space
a creature will arrive
with something better us replace
from their USB drive

We started with a bang
our love was like Kaboom
through the house our voices rang
from each single room

Years later our noise levels dropped
and continued to settle
until they completely stopped
except the TV and the kettle

and now all you can hear
through our whole house blaring
is when I open my next beer
while you're at me swearing

maybe there is no end
and maybe no beginning
the in between we try to understand
while the universe keeps spinning

maybe there is no truth
and wisdom is some man
who holds on to his one last tooth
without a dental plan

maybe there is no death
and we have been forever living
just can't remember every word and breath
that we have been giving

maybe we are all so wrong
about what this is for
and life is like a favourite song
in the next we'll sing once more

Tell the ones you love, you love them
say it, sing it, shout it
Tell them that you’re thinking of them
don’t just think about it

Tell them any time of day
or night when you're in bed
Tell them, let them hear you say
three words that must be said

Tell them and all will be better
and will be so sweet of you
Tell them, don’t write a poem or letter
but say it loud, I love you

Happiness is a world that's quiet
with nobody around
When the day is done and long retired
and the night the only sound

The only visitors to my room
are a moon through windows peeping
and a breeze that with a broom
is away my sadness sweeping

My ceiling has the words i need
and I've almost read them all
So i better hurry, i better speed
before i hear the roosters call