No one would notice me before
but now they all stare at me
Is it because I weigh so much more
and my big belly they can see ?

Maybe I look like some most wanted ?
or is there a halo above my head ?
by these questions I'm often haunted
as I insecurely tread

Perhaps it's only my imagination
that I'll never understand
as I walk back to my car from the petrol station
with five hot dogs in my hand

We all live only once
but who wants to live again ?
unless it is in southern France
or Ibiza Spain

I might even reconsider
having another go
if I could live in Florida
or Cancun Mexico

But there is no doubt
I'd live a hundred lives
if I could live all of them out
in beautiful Maldives

If my life was just one day long
I would be now my dinner plating
listening to my favourite song
an end to a hard day celebrating

With a dessert treat to look forward to
and my best loved TV show
Hoping there is much less to do
just an evening warm and slow

and when I'll finally fall asleep
among the moonlight beams
It's you that in my arms I'll keep
so I can find you in my dreams

Who tells your heart how it should beat
does anybody know ?
I've not been in the drivers seat
to how my blood should flow

and who knows how their stomach's working ?
or kidneys, lungs and liver
besides some rumbling and some burping
somehow they deliver

So what exactly is our role ?
Who's really in command ?
just when you think you're in control
one **** can make that end

"Can I go to the toilet please"
was the first sentence I was taught
After arriving from overseas
when my English equalled naught

Then I learned a few more sentences
like "She'll be right" and "G'Day mate"
meaning soon there were many instances
when I was forced to mum translate

Now my English is just so much better
though when I speak it still sounds funny
or when writing poems or a letter
especially while I'm in the dunny

Why do I feel that everyone
is getting too frustrated
From doctors, teachers, even a nun
all feeling agitated

and everybody's speeding, swearing
filled with so much hate
No one's smiling, no one's caring
with all things running late

Is it just me who feels this way
or can you also tell ?
That something isn't quite OK
and our world is unwell

To give her nose a better look
Jane booked a Rhinoplasty
To make it small without that hook
so that it looks less nasty

But when the surgery was finished
Jane got quite aggressive
She saw her nose had not diminished
but her ******* were massive