My favourite constellation was Orion
It's what i always felt
Through summer nights i've had my eye on
his shiny three star belt

He always was a poignant figure
in his huntsman possie
there was no dream that could be bigger
for a small young aussie

but years later boy became a man
and dreams came to an end
till i discovered rhyme from a pen
and found my hunting friend

its not a lie but really
i sweat quite profusely
when im eating chili
but even if its muesli

and it gets much worse
when in an anxious state
i sweat then like a horse
at the starting gate

somewhere cold in Norway
early i'll retire
till then there is no escape doorway
from sweating like a liar

No man is an island
for true love we all search
whether it's in Thailand
or Sunday morning church

Always looking for someone
for that special person
whether it might be a nun
or maybe Elle McPherson

Then magically we get together
might need a prayer, or eight
but tragically love depends in whether
in bikinis she looks great

Eggs aren't very funny
They don't like cracking jokes
or things could get a little runny
from their spilling yolks

and eggs unfortunately never will
have humorous tales to tell
but my stomach laughs with every meal
when they come out of their shell

Sometimes the truth is hard to swallow
you can choke and die
so a new diet now I follow
where my every word’s a lie

Tonight my hugs are free
because you've been so nice
you can have one, two or three
with kisses at half price

Everything will be reduced
and heavily discounted
so hopefully you will be seduced
and into my arms shunted

So hurry throw yourself at me
this chance won't last forever
tonight we should make history
from my greatest sale ever

sad poems make me cry
that's why i compose
silly poems that won't try
make you blow your nose

and no tears will be shed
though you might need tissues
laughing while you wet your bed
from weak bladder issues

which is why i always write
and funny poems share
no one wants to cry all night
just change of underwear