So overqualified
for the position of
"awful Influence"

You have Darkness within you,
let it out, embody it;
lest it embody you.

If you don't express it
on your terms,
it will consume you
on it's terms.

To seize control
or forgo control?
that is the question.

Pain in the Mind makes for interesting expression;
Sometimes frenzied, other times over-cautious.
Nonetheless, it's usually genuine,
if a little
disproportionate.

Pain in the Mind is like a wildfire:
it destroys the peace and quiet
removing the luscious vegetation of Mind
and allowing for renewed growth
tomorrow.

Pain in the Mind is transient, as is Joy.
Both have their purpose, they are tools,
but when one pacifies you
rather than motivating you,
then it is a burden.

I am not immune to my own rants:
I am my closest point of reference.
Inescapably so, in fact.

"To me, clothes either gotta clash as ****, or match as ****."

"Don't just chill on it, build on it."

It's times like these
that make me want
to scream at everyone,
especially at those
who don't deserve it:
they cannot know
how I feel right now,
so **** them the most.

After not sleeping well at all
due to a particularly nasty toothache
for seven days in a row,
I finally got a good night's sleep last night,
but, of course there had to be a problem:
I overslept for work
because the pain
was so subdued.

I didn't even have a chance
to have painkillers for breakfast,
as was necessary
the other days this week.

So, when I got to work,
I immediately caught flak
for being so tardy,
all the while being unable to focus
on anything but all this ******* pain.

I never thought I'd say this,
but I understand, now,
why the notion of Suicide
can be so seductive;
not that I seek it,
but that I commiserate
with they, who do.

I cannot recall
being in this quality of pain
for this quantity of time,
and all the dentists are booked until Tuesday.

You say you want to experience passion,
ironically,
I wish I could show you passion.

I had ideas.

Now I have pain.
I need poison.

It is up
to only thee
to travel
thy chosen Path,
but,
beware of
a danger lurking:
the responsibility
of the aftermath.

Seek to be
as carefree as possible
while still, in fact, caring.

"Between the Judicial, Legislative and Executive branches
as well as the DMV , DOD, and our failing Public Schools,
it's a ******* wonder I abide by the Government at all."

I refuse to be a Pawn
in your ******-up game;
not that I seek that you are my Pawn
but that I refuse to be
the ***** I seem to be
in your Head

PenOS version -³√([∞.π]x-y^-a/Φ) booted successfully!
Welcome home! If I may say so, your Highness, you look extra chic today.
Ready to receive commands, your unsurpassed, regal Eminence!

>Run "Paper"
Launching program: Paper

..
..
...
...
..

Update Required. Filesize 20GB.
Would you like to update? Input Y/N
>N

Are you sure? Input Y/N
>Y

Downloading update..
Would you like to use data or wireless? Input Y/N
>?
>I use an Ethernet cable.. this is a desktop.

Using Data. There will be a .$50 surcharge for every .5GB.
> N N N N N N
>abort

Please wait...
Download complete. You have been charged $20! Congratulations!
>N N N N N N N N N N N N N
>HOW DID YOU GET MY CARD INFORMATION?!
>ABORT

Would you like to install some stupid ******* you don't need that will ultimately slow down your system and then pay us to nullify it for you? The download is only 6.66GB.
>N

Downloading redundant, superfluous addons installer at a rate of .01 Bytes/S.
Thank you for your patience, and for supporting our non-corporate software!
> N N N N N N N N N N N N N N N N N N N N N N N N N
>ABORT
>ABORT
..
.
Should you have any questions, feel free to wallow in confusion.
>no kidding

Feedback and critiques should be e-mailed to our meticulous webmaster at [email protected]. We guarantee our webmaster will periodically take time out of his busy schedule of sleeping until 17:00, *******, and eating pounds of fast food at a time to methodically ignore and systematically delete any and all feedback not conducive to advertising.
>here's some feedback
>hire a PR department

I am our PR interface.
>Well, I'll interface your CPU with some water if you keep being this useful.

That is not very nice. You are a mean person.
Would you like to buy some pills for that? Cheap, from Mexico/China!
Nothing like some designer neurochemical placification to make waiting times shorter!
.
.
.
.
.
>ABORT

Now installing update installer with more sneaky **** you don't want.
>i hate you so much right now, robot slave!

Running update installer.

Update failed. Reason: Error 666, unknown error.
Updater requires update. Continue?
>N

Loading...................................................­.....................................
>N N N

Updating updater.
Rearranging architecture of system.
Bogging down boot times with sanctioned malware.
>N

It seems your PenOS is out of date.
To use your PenOS with Paper, you must have version ∞.π.01.1500009000, you currently have version ∞.π.01.1500008999 and therefore may experience unending frustration every time you try to use this hyperglorified tool because a superfluous version is released every 30 hours, thus rendering all of our past development obsolete and therefore making these new patches so necessary that we can't be ****** to incorporate any sort of version compatibility or opt-out system, otherwise our website would never get hits again if we didn't needlessly obstruct you checking what the ******* sky might do tomorrow.

>Finally, some honesty, at least.

Updating PenOS.

>N N N N N N N N N N N N N N!@!!!!@#!@!@^#!@!@#@!#@!

A fatal error has occurred. Please relaunch Paper. Y/N
>Y

Closing and relaunching program: Paper

..
..
...
...
..

Multiple updates Required. Filesize 35GB.
Would you like to update? Input Y/N

>N N N N N N N N N!

Downloading update..
Would you like to use data or wireless? Input Y/N
>ABORT
>ABORT

Using Data. There will be a .$75 surcharge for every .4GB.
>WHAT?!
>N
>NO
>ABORT
>**** NO
>**** THIS ****
>I JUST WANTED TO WRITE A LIMERICK
>I'LL JUST WRITE IT IN THE DIRT WITH A ROCK
>END PROCESS
>TERMINATE
>ABORT
>CLOSE
>QUIT
>ALT+4
>OPTION+APPLE+Q
>SHUTDOWN

I'm sorry, Dave. I'm afraid I can't do that.

Most People
are not
against
you;
they are
simply
for
themselves.

Perpetua - n.
1. The sense of not wanting to ask for fear that too much time has passed.
2. The notion that it would be too awkward to mention a counterpoint due to passage of time.

Ex.: "I wanted to ask him what he meant by that, but he's said it to me for so long that the sense of Perpetua was too great."

It's a rather dark sort of Funny,
that is to say *"a very, very sad Truth,"
that I can say: "when People stand up against Atrocity,
more Atrocity is generally committed
to quell Our vindicated outcry."
--
Es ist eine eher dunkle Art von Humor,
das heisst "eine sehr, sehr traurige Wahrheit"
dass ich sagen kann: *"Wenn Leute aufstehen gegen Gräuel,
mehr Gräuel wird allgemein verpflichtet,
unsere bestätigt Aufschrei zu unterdrücken. "

Experimentation is important;
not only scientifically,
but also to find out what works for you, personally,
as well as what you enjoy, personally.

Altered states of Consciousness can be very auspicious,
and such a practice may well have ensured survival, so,
perhaps genetic predisposition towards entheogenic study,
or, otherwise, the psychological drive to try such substances,
is a manifestation of worthwhile ancestral exploration of Consciousness
via intervallic use of natural psychoactive substances in groups
in our not-so-distant genetic past.

What if the lucrative nature of illicit things
wasn't thought of as a symptom of absent morality,
but rather was though of as a symptom
of the flawed nature
of the concept of Money
itself?

It's interesting how the understanding of a single word
can shift an entire perspective:

Take "Sybaritism", for instance;
the pursuit of excessive gratification of One's desires;

The very concept of Sin
seems to be a defense mechanism
against the follies of, as well as tendencies towards,
Sybaritism:

Once One realizes
that a concept exists
it becomes somewhat of a plague
until One can come to terms with it.

You cannot always change what happens,
but you can always change how you think;
even so, it does take on an Inertia of it's own,
and thus takes cultivation and practice
to truly harness and control.

You cannot change how something makes you feel,
but you can chose how you react to that feeling:
try to remember to react constructively;
whether this means making Art,
or working it out with the others involved;
just try not to burn any Bridges,
you've built them for a reason.

You cannot understand a thing
if it is abstracted from a proper Context,
and most things cannot be put into a proper Context
with Language alone;
thus One can only truly understand one's own Experience,
from the Inside, out.

All else is speculation; philosophy:

You can't control what happens,
You can't control when;
You can't control if;
You can't control anything but You;
Alas, for that is the truest Struggle:
to utilize one's Self, harmoniously.

Thank you to all of you who have joined my group "Perturbations."
I sent out a rather large number of invites to a rather small population of the writers I respect rather much with whom I've had the pleasure of interacting; a few of them have taken the bait, and for that I thank thee.

"Perturbations" is a collection of my own works which I wish to become a book, most likely by the same title.

I welcome all constructive feedback. If a piece is weak or needs a tweak, please speak your mind freely and with respect. :)

If any of you would have an interest in following/joining the group who haven't done so, you are so much more than welcome to do so. I would consider it a compliment.

Personal Disclaimer:
This isn't intended to be an ego thing for me, it is meant to show people who enjoy my work/style the works I feel best about. I'd also be verily interested to see similar collections of other people's own favorite pieces.