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One
who is possessive of Love
is nothing shy
of Narcissistic:
for,
what is selfish Love
but externalized vanity?

Love
lets 'as is' be.
Not because it yields or compromises,
but because it knows
that to alter another
for oneself
is a form of vanity.

True Love
is unconditional.
Which, itself, seems uncaring.
But, quite the opposite is true.

You must change yourself instead.
Have the courage to be your own control group.
Otherwise:



get in whichever over-generalized, socially acceptable line
suits you best
and wait your turn
in somebody else's
rigged game.
I don't have a problem with
hipsters, goths, jocks,
skaters, rockers, preps,
farmers, plumbers, executives,
Blacks, Hispanics, Asians, Caucasians,
gays, furries, bronies,
foodies, junkies, abstainers,
republicans, democrats,
atheists, monotheists, polytheists,
etc.

People are people.
So, why begrudge them that?

I do, however, have a problem with mean, hateful people
who's greatest joy comes in a form of shadenfreude.

Be who you are,
but don't impose your self-image onto others;
impose others onto your Self with a healthy dose of salt.
You may learn a thing or two.

Live and let live.
It is possible to operate quickly
without the distraction of an overwhelming sense of Urgency;
the quandary is discovering how.
Sometimes, the Healing process
hurts more than the injury, itself.
I once was a Person far too set in my ways
to realize how much what I didn't do
hurt the person I love.

I one was a Person too consumed by Self
to see past it's Illusion
and into the beautiful Truth of my life.

I once was a Person lucky enough to be close to you;
and though you say I didn't fail, I sure feel like I did.
I may not have failed you, but I sure failed myself in the process.
Maybe I didn't, but it sure made me think
about how I could change;
and Change has been made.

I'm sorry for the things I did that I shouldn't have
and for the things I didn't that I should have.

I'm terribly sorry my actions and inactions
made you seek your course of recourse.

I hope you can find it in your heart to give me another chance,
I know you may well not want to, and I don't blame you;

Time can be good.

To quote another poem of mine; Age:
"It does take Time
to find and travel your Path,
but it can begin at any Time,
and one can stray at any Time."

I'm sorry I strayed.
I think it can begin anew.
More beautiful.

We had something.
What's gone is gone.
We have potential.
We can begin anew;
begin something new
and more wondrous
than either of us can imagine:

I think we can grow together,
You nourish me.
I want to do the same for you.

I love you.
I miss you.
I adore you.

I miss you so much.

You complete me.
I know it sounds cheesy.. but it's true.

Last weekend at the wedding
when I laid down with you sobbing
about the things I was sobbing about
I had a realization:

I can see myself marrying you;
perhaps not quite yet, but I'd be down.
Normally thinking of marriage freaks me out,
but with you it doesn't.
It would be an honor.

You push me towards a better me
even if I've unintentionally resisted:
(That's part of what's changed
I see how I've been resisting now.
Sorry it took so ******* long ><)

You got me to write things down and share them.
You got me to try new things and to push my comfort zone.
You inspire me to pursue my passions;
to not be ashamed to get in front of People and share them.
You think in ways that the Ordinary can't even imagine.
You make me feel like I belong and that I am loved..

Something so very precious is being lost;
within me
and between us

I really hope we haven't thrown all hope out the window.
I think we have something far too dear to just toss out.

We both need to change, for ourselves and each other,
but I feel that we can do that together. Perhaps better.

I'm really truly sorry it took me losing you
to make me realize what I already had in you.

I'm really sorry it took what it took:
I'm really sorry it took so much Time.

-
I was stubborn and stupid.
I strayed.
We all can.

I value things differently now.
We all should.

My Shadow and Ego had been puppeteering my Mind,
but I've felt the metamorphosis, the renewal, the cleansing;
the Change has crept up and consumed me.
My Worldview has shifted, from the inside turning out.
The World is more beautiful now;
and so are you.

You are the full Moon
in the night of my Mind.
I know I truly love you.
[Please, Forgive me.]
I feel a heavy void within me, tearing my soul
I feel like crying, but the tears escape me.
I want to scream but I have no voice.
I want to hold you..

At least I slept last night.. that's improvement.
Follow thy Heart
Temper Heart with Mind
Hone Mind with Soul
We
have all
glimpsed
the Utopia;
yet we
cannot
agree
as to
how to
translate it
into and through
this
physical
Reality,

so,
what is it
that we should
disagree?

Human Nature
is contradictory
Human Nature
is hypocrisy
Human Nature
is a gift and a curse;
use it
or be used;

Create
thy own Heaven,
lest ye be enveloped
by
thy own Hell.
One, who makes One's problems
reflections of the External,
opts that One's Reality
shall manifest as One's Hell.

One, who realizes One's problems
root most often in One's Self,
opts that One's Reality
shall manifest as One's Nirvana.
I'm living on an endless road
around the world for rock and roll.
Sometimes it feels so tough
but I still ain't had enough.
I keep saying that it's getting too much
but I know I'm a liar!
Feeling all right in the noise and the light
but that's what lights my fire!

Hellraiser, in the thunder and heat!
Hellraiser, rock you back in your seat!
Hellraiser, and I'll make it come true!
Hellraiser, I'll put a spell on you!

Walking out on another stage,
another town, another place.
Sometimes I don't feel right,
nerves wound up too **** tight!
People keep telling me
it's bad for my health,
but kicking back don't make it!

Out of control,
I play the ultimate role!
But, that's what lights my fire!

Hellraiser, in the thunder and heat!
Hellraiser, rock you back in your seat!
Hellraiser, and I'll make it come true!
Hellraiser, I'll put a spell on you!

I'm living on an endless road
around the world for rock and roll!
Sometimes it feels so tough,
but I still ain't had enough!
Feeling all right
in the noise and the light,
but that's what lights my fire!

Hellraiser, in the thunder and heat!
Hellraiser, rock you back in your seat!
Hellraiser, and I'll make it come true!
Hellraiser, I'll put a spell on you!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Pbl4x1OKqs
Like this if you see it.
I know I can do this on any post;
but self-selection bias is indeed a variable.
Sometimes,
all One can do for Another
is to allow them
to wallow in their own
chaotic and confused ways,
for, indeed,
some refuse to take heed
of mere words
of mere peers.

If they can't, or simply won't,
realize the futility
of the Fools' Path
they chose to travel,
then perhaps they deserve it;
perhaps you've only put yourself
in front of a firing squad,
in front of a trainwreck
of Personality.

They have the capacity for choice,
and so do you,
and so, if they fail to use it constructively,
it's likely up to you
to remove yourself
from such destructive environments,
lest ye become such a Fool.

Learn from your mistakes.
Even if they reject the notion of those of their own;
there is no shame in acknowledging an honest mistake:
perhaps one of the first
was to part with
some of your mortal Time and Energy
on their insipid behalf.

I can call it so by name
because I've made that very mistake
from both sides, yet,
I feel I'm wiser for it.
Perhaps a bit utilitarian, but I'm sick of trying to help others who claim to seek help, who proceed to simply abuse and manipulate the Energy and Time put forth by others for their benefit. Oh well.
Only I fall within my dominion.
Only within my dominion am I.
Never again will you have this day.
So, make it count.
Sometimes,
a thing is put forth
with the preconception of
"very few people, if anyone
will truly get this reference,"
however, I maintain
that those who do
may indeed gain much
from a well-placed insight.
"My favorite thing about her would have to be her personality:

Mean, snide, lazy, insincere,
manipulative, controlling, cowardly,
condescending, territorial, insecure,
entitled, selfish, superficial, capricious,
disrespectful, brash, immature,
foolish, arrogant, pretentious,
rude, holier-than-thou, insipid,
and even a little bit childish.

What's not to grovel and worship?
Truly, I cannot think of even one shortcoming."
Inspired by a former roomate. I'll leave it at that.
Among the many problems
beset upon a Heart of Gold
is that many claim to own it,
seeking to sell it for themselves.
No, it doesn't work like that.. they'll come to you if you're worthy.

But how?

The way.

What way?

Keep going, that you may discover thy way
and the rest shall be as it may.
But, what if it's both?
Funny how when the danger oughtta be respected
the fear-mongers downplay it.
Slept through all that ******* Thunder
but not the closing of the front Door?

Pardon us, your ******* Highness,
for living some of our Lives
before ******* 18:30;

Please, your ******* Highness,
take a step back from yourself
if you can fathom anything
other than yourself.

We try not to begrudge you your Schedule;
reciprocate by not begrudging the majority of the House theirs.
Yay self-absorbed roomates!
Every day now feels rather like
a nice, mellow Mushroom trip
if I bother to recognize it
Writ stone sober,
for better and worse.
If you had the opportunity to live a high-risk lifestyle, would you?
I'm not asking this to be derogatory, nor to be accusatory
I simply want you to think on
what it is
to live a high-risk lifestyle.
As a mass, we seem to think of it as an undesirable thing.
Now, isn't that just ******* quaint?

Probability favors a percentile:
That which is unique enough
to leave it's mark
on our realm.
That includes us.

Risk, unless done in ignorance, is the acceptance of probability
More specifically, the pursuit of the more improbable chance.

Perhaps when you think of high-risk, you think of constant parties
perhaps of ***** needles, and/or STIs
unprotected ***, or doing psychedelics
but I ask you to ponder
just how high risk Life is to begin with:

Some wish to claim that Life is a granted gift
by some benevolent Father figure who has our back, (but not theirs)
but I say that's just selfish, arrogant and, frankly, quite foolish to claim.

This Universe was not made for us and us alone
as if we were some sort of Sims for a bipolar teenage boy on *******.

We were not molded after anything intelligent
with the exception of the Universe and her Nature itself.
The probability of the Universe existing is not %100.
The probability of the particular combinations of atoms within the strands of DNA in your body
are not "guaranteed" to occur. Ever.
But they did.

They. Did.

They.
*******.
Did.

As if the Universe were the soil to the roots of our existence
and Her Energy is as the water to the roots
and her Chemistry allows it all to happen.
And her physical laws, for lack of a better term, allow that to happen.
On top of that, you ******* exist! You! In particular!
With your experiences, thoughts and feelings, insights and interests, passions and even DNA!
You! Wonderful, temporary you!
Mortal you. Ethereal you. Spiritual you. Intrinsic you. Extrinsic you.

You exist, if nothing else,  in a relative way.
There is no way to be certain.
What are the friggin' odds on anything existing at all, let alone you?
There is no way to be certain.
If you could bet on your existence, would you?
There is no way to be certain.
Nothing is granted; everything is permitted by the brain.
There is no way to be certain.
Perhaps it is deeper than that. I hope and think so,
yet, there is no way
to be
certain.

~Addendum!~
Statistically, about 93% of people accounted for by census information who have lived-
have died.
Statistically, that gives you a 7%ish chance of surviving this life!  
That seems like a high-risk Life, to me.
(Although this is written with an air of humour, I hope you see the intrinsic truth upon which I may or may not have succeeded reflecting. I suppose it's a matter of perspective.)
There exist Thresholds
past which One hinders One's Self
waiting for Others.

There is a certain
virtue to just moving on
when necessary.

Impersonal truth,
very much can be painful;
so it's always been.

Some things ne'er shall change,
though one cannot ascertain:
discretion is key.

There exist Thresholds,
beyond which we can't perceive;
One cannot discern.

There exist Thresholds,
once passed are gone forever:
One must act with care.

There exist Thresholds,
transient yet permanent-
take heed; beware.
One will not recognize
many of the important things
or true turning points
in one's life
until much later;
by then many may well be gone forever.
Pay extra
to ensure your
precious, needed, ethical
Organic Whole Foods
and then don't even bother
to recycle the paper containers.

And you're the one to get indignant?

Nice.
Some people..
"Aww.. Another numbskull hipstercrite? How cute.
Don't drink the 'before-it's-cool-ade!'
You probably already have, haven't you?
Lemme guess: before I heard about it?
Y'know: on second thought, please do."
War has been to Science
as
Religion has been to Art
A thing I said in a conversation with my roommate

I mean this in that
"It has historically funded it
though the truest of either
disagrees with the nurturer
due to how it's been incorporated"
"History" occurs
when at least one conscious being
makes the conscious decision
to look backwards on the Spiral.
Spiral out. Keep going.

Inspired by Lateralus by Tool:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wS7CZIJVxFY
Naziism gained it's foothold in Germany
when the Reichstag was burned down:
this gave them the pretext needed
to suspend the rights of the Citizenry indefinitely
to ensure "security".

Sound familiar?

It should be frightening how similar it in fact is to modern events:

This rhymes with modern American legislation:
CISPA, the PATRIOT acts, the NDAA, etc.

Governments have always used such events
to catalyze and capitalize their own motives:

Tread lightly.
We enter a new age of Oppression with each passing administration;
we are not immune because we are hubristic
if anything, we are more vulnerable for it.

Sieg Heil,
für Gott ist mit uns.
Wir können nicht verloren
denn Gott ist mit uns.
Sieg Heil,
Amerika über alles.
Sieg Heil,
Das viertes ***** wird herum.
Sieg Heil.
Sieg Heil.
All hail,
for God is with us.
We cannot lose
because God is with us.
All hail,
America over All.
All hail.
The Fourth Kingdom is about.
All hail.
All hail.

Say it in German, you're a ****.
Say it in English, you're a Patriot.
"What's one of your favorite hobbies?"
"I dunno.. taking an eighth of 'Shrooms and proceeding to clean the house
once each few months is a pretty fun and enlightening hobby."
Simply not liking something,
you are not entitled to take the **** out of it left and right.

"I like it" does not translate to "it is better"
"I dislike it" does not translate to "it is worse"

Your speech indicates your thoughts, and with so judgmental of speech,
it is not outlandish to deduce that your Mind is equally hostile a place;

so, don't be surprised when people think you're a ******* *******
if you tend to talk **** on people and things all the ******* time.
Partially aimed at myself, partially some friends, partially my roommate, partially some co-workers.
Life is a holiday for the Unliving.

Perhaps it is
as some have said:

Life is the pre-party for the Afterlife
(assuming such a thing even exists)

Though,
I suppose,
we oughtta live this life well, and now,
just in case
this really is
the only one.

If
ye find thy Shadow,
constantly embrace
the dark creativity,
not just once a year
when it's "okay."

Be not ashamed of thy Darkness.

Shame, fear, and guilt beget repression,
repression then begets pressurization,
and pressurization is akin
to explosion.

So.

Learn to appreciate it.
Learn to control it.
Learn to use it.

The Darkness is not bad,
t'is just like everything else:
t'is but what is made of it.

The Darkness is powerful
but only because we feed it
and don't allow it to breathe.

Live it. Express it.
It appreciates the respect.
Somewhere between my Taoist persona, my Anubis persona, and my Goth persona.
They work well together, I think.
Realize
you are Divine.

Recognize
everything else is, as well.

Respect
the Holism of Reality.

Revel
in the sanctity of all things.


These are the ways
by which we may return
to Eden, Elysium, Nirvana;

we've so long forgotten-
we've so long neglected-
we've so long abandoned-
we so long to renew.

It is up to
every single last one of you-
that is, of us,
to make present a mutual mental state
that would act as harbinger-
as savior of our potential-
of our future
and the futures of all things
which find themselves within our domain
as sentient beings
alive, awake, and aware in this Universe
(a ******* divine gift if I've ever known one, I might add)
as **** Sapiens Sapiens.


Indeed,
the task at hand is tremendous
to say the least.
However:
our capacity, I would argue,
makes it pale in comparison
to say the least.

And that's saying something.
Yes, at times I use capitalization as a grammatical token of respect for idealized forms of certain nouns. What of it?
If
God is Dead
it is ONLY because
WE drove HIM to SUICIDE
(...and who could blame Him?)

...and if
Satan is King
it is ONLY because
WE built HIS THRONE and CROWNED HIM
(...and who could blame Him?)
Welcome back,
After a brief impromptu hiatus.
I keep hoping
apparently in vein
that if I manage to sleep
it will feel better when I wake up.

Such is not the case;
even if I do manage
to get to sleep,
I wake up with a fresh set of torment;
I dreamed of torment.

I really hope at some point
I do wake up and it no longer hurts,
but until then,
I'll keep clinging to the
folly notion of forgiveness
and try not to act on these urges
to throttle myself
back to oblivion,
where I feel I belong.

For now,
I'm just going back to my fitful and temperamental sleep, if I can.
I sure hope it feels better
if I wake up.

- PS. Go figure, I couldn't go back to sleep.
I hope that as I lay upon my Deathbed
my thoughts are: "Well, I had a good run."
rather than having regrets for all of the things
that are inevitably left undone.

[I shall]
Strive to make it so.
Whether metaphorical or literal, or both!
Taking Hospitality for granted,
so much slack has been cut
that little is left to be found:

Tread lightly;
it is up to you.
If we're never apart,
we'll only ever have
one set of events,
albeit from different perspectives,
to discuss.

Doesn't that seem boring?
Doesn't the pain of being apart
pale in comparison to the pain
of self-indulgent over-stimulation?

It isn't that I don't love you,
so don't even begin to put those self-loathing words in my mouth.
It's simply that I value my space
and I value that of yours, as well.
"It's only like that
to me
because I think
it is
that way."
1.*  Talk about it too loudly or to the wrong person.
If you tell one person, don't assume you've just told ten.
Although it is nice to think that everyone can keep a thing hush-hush, *people like to ******* talk
.

2. Don't be discreet or otherwise use discretion when discussing it.
This is especially optional in public or with telecommunications such as phone and internet.

3. Act paranoid around authority
Act like everyone knows you're doing something "wrong".

4. Don't cover your tracks.
Or, if you do, do so poorly so as to let someone catch on to the secrecy with minimal effort.

If you do these things,
the cat will surly be out of the bag before long.
People seem to be good for two things:
scapegoats and disappointment.
Don't like this entry.
I'm in a ****** up mood.
One must realize that no matter how vast one's mortal experience may be,
it is still indeed quite limited in the grand scheme of things.
If you want proof of this, ponder the implications of death upon that which perhaps only you know.
We don't know it all:
Things aren't as we may think, yet
things still seem to work.
You mustn't
always interject,
for it is not more auspicious
to be considered a Fool
than to affirm such suspicions,
is it not?

Defer unto thy knowledgeable peers
and, if ye be Sage among the Like,
thou shall be deferred unto.
Learn to swallow pride and apologize,
'cause it's not worth damaging relationships
to sate some ephemeral lust of Ego.
Looking subjectively at others
can sometimes be the best way
to objectively look at yourself.
Live it up;
play it down.
Everyone
knows something
you do not,
so
shut the **** up
and listen;
you may just learn a thing or two.
But,
then again,
lots of people
are full of ****.
So,
tread lightly
but decisively.
Whether or not you're feeling under the weather;
aches and pains, mental and/or physical,
if you have a bath/shower apparatus,
I beseech thee to try this:

Take a warm shower for a few minutes
and then turn it over to a warm bath
throwing in some bath salts and/or oils
and soak in that for five times as long.

Then, once you've soaked and relaxed
drain the bath, but simply lay in the water
and feel as the level lowers slowly around you
and pulls away all that negativity.

But, then, turn it back over to a cool shower,
rinsing off the salts and oils and residual bath debris,
and slowly increase the temperature,
for it shall impart an appreciation for what you have.

Then, allow yourself to air-dry
and do some light stretching.
I think you may find, as I sure have,
that this is a great way to reset the body and mind.
Even burn some incense and/or candles
and put on some music,
or just let the music of the sounds and feelings
play for thee a symphony.
"Uuh, dude, your Hubris is showing.
Watch your ******' tongue, man.
It's cool to express yourself,
but now you're just being a ****.

Hold thy beloved charientisms,
thy ****** knives in velvet sleeves:

You don't exactly seem to understand
the true power of those Words
you propagate so 'knowingly,'
as if a monkey with his own ****,
but, if you do realize what you say:
you're a ******* *******.

Well, which are you:

a tactless, spiteful,
foolish hypocrite,

or

an affectatious egoist
of a hypocrite?

I'd wager
an unhealthy balance
that it's both.

I've seen it for years.

You assume a lot
for how little you know.

You step on other people's sentences
with a mastered matter-of-fact tone
regardless of how true
those facts you spew
even ******* are.

There you go again,
borrowing other people's ****
without expressed consent
nor explicit intention to return;
we have a word for that, I think.

Either your behavior and morality
totally adapt to your surroundings,
and/or you're a ******* Hypocrite Fool.
Either way,
you cannot be trusted
once a back is turned.

Honestly,
if I had to guess,
I'd be hard-pressed to give you
the benefit of the doubt
by assuming the level
of consideration required
for maliciousness.

You just want all of your stuff for you,
and all of everyone else's for you, too,
and the crux is
you'll feign being pleasant
just until you get it,
then you come out of your ******* cocoon
and get all high and mighty, entitled, and condescending.

Last one on the bandwagon,
first one to throw a stone;
you're a real ******' winner!

All you tend to do
every time I chill with you
is berate others- oh, I meant "advise" others,
who may well be better off than you,
for having many problems
which you either could not understand,
or with which you find yourself,
you ******* Fool.

Every time I wonder
if I've become too indignant
as a direct result of your antics,
you remove my self-doubt
and reaffirm my reservations
by eating all my ******* cheese
or talking **** on my friends
behind the back of whoever it is
who has their back turned at the moment.

When will you learn?
When will you mature?

I guess nothing changes
if we tolerate **** in our faces.

Tread lightly, Elephant,
for you tread 'pon thin-*** ice."
It takes one to know one, *******.

I add that so as to not forget that I've been that ******* too.
The best I can do
about anything in my past I wish I could change
is learn from it
that I may preclude such folly
in the future.
I
I
am a walker, a thinker,
an observer and a dreamer.
A jester and a king,
a son and a father.
A rocker, a listener,
an author and a reader.
Both a fool and a friend,
I'll be a lover 'til the end.

A Philosopher Artist,
a musical cathartist.
A monk and an Ape,
I'm but a God in Human shape.

A mortal, and glad,
being Alive in this Universe
ain't half bad.
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