Anugraha

Anugraha Feb 2022

It's been so long since we last saw
So all I can do is imagine
A nest of hair on a long pole
Small brown orbs

I remember your lips
Did it learn to smile through the years
or is it still frowning?

I knew that you loved me
So whenever I feel ugly
I remember,
you loved me at my worst.

Love is forever even when it is love lost or love forgotten.

Anugraha Jan 2022

Stories

I chose to loose myself
in the stories I read
And the stories I heard
And the stories I saw
Until I forgot to write my own.

Anugraha Jan 2022

Outside I heard bombs drop,

debris fell on my face.
I heard a volcano erupt,
Guns firing everywhere,
I heard the screams of innocents and
my own terror mingled theirs.

I heard missiles overhead,
and the blades of the helicopters.

Yet through it all I chose to close my eyes
To hear but not to see.
And I pretended to keep myself safe
inside myself,
some part of me knowing
very well that I was in fact a fool.

Anugraha Jan 2022

Love and Lies

Why does life have to be so hard?
Why can't we just be the things we
wish our hearts to be?

Why does every encouragement
come with a concealed lie?
My back is filled with old knife wounds,
promises and lies.

On the crowded street called life
I watched all those people pass by
some assisted and some not.
As I stood right there, cemented.

And I watched those I love, love and lie to me
And I watched as I loved and lied to them.
Tell me

Why don't hearts change too?
Are we fated for "too late"?
Are we doomed for failure?

Is it okay to live half dead,
loved and lied to.
I am loved and lied to.

Anugraha Dec 2021

Somedays

Somedays,maybe whole weeks

I become a collection of mistakes
   stacked one on top of another
one leading to another
over and over again
until,
I am not.

And somedays I just stop remembering
   all the good things about myself
    and all that I aspire to be
    until, suddenly
I am not.

And somedays this stacked up
collection of mistakes makes it hard
to even get out of bed
and then I pray
And I'm not.

#reality

Anugraha Dec 2021

Fault lines

You are not a mistake,
You are not here by chance.
There is beauty
in all your imperfections,
I love the way
your fault lines add up.

Anugraha Aug 2021

TODAY

I have no overflowing words
within me,
waiting to be anchored down.
Just empty silence.