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99 · Sep 2024
Life’s a game
Anthony Esposito Sep 2024
There was a boy who learned how to move the wind.
He was like a superhero.
He was on the news,
And in the papers, everywhere.

He was a hero until they killed him on the evening news.
The played the blues,
At his funeral.
It goes to show you, you never know how it will go.

I was there,
All dressed in black.
I saw his mother cry.
She screamed his name.
I’ll never forget.

It haunts me still.
I can’t sleep, I’m not well.
This life is such a game.
And I’m losing,
I’m losing so bad.

I visited the grave a year ago.
Just to say my peace.
I could have sworn I heard a voice say
Remember me.
And I don’t even believe in ghost.
98 · May 2020
There is nowhere on earth
Anthony Esposito May 2020
The universe is big
Just like this room
Your on the other end of the bar
Feels like miles apart

This dim light is comforting
The loud noise is deafening
But when I see you
It all goes mute

There is nowhere on earth
That I would rather be then right now
I could not imagine any other way
With any other soul but you
The only thing that’s real is you

This cigarette taste great
Your lips taste better
No amount of alcohol could make you look any better than you do right now

A street light
A crowded street
Your eyes focused on me
The city never sleeps

There is nowhere on earth
That I would rather be then right now
I could not imagine any other way
With any other soul but you
The only thing that’s real is you

I don’t pray
but I would pray for you
Make this last forever
I only want you

I caught fire
You sparked the flame
My heart was the rag
And you were the gasoline

There is nowhere on earth
That I would rather be then right now
I could not imagine any other way
With any other soul but you
The only thing that’s real is you

These cold dark nights
Always end up teaching us things
Like how to fall in love
And what it all could mean

They don’t tell you to watch out for it
And how it sneaks up on you
Sometimes it comes to you as a girl
On the other side of the room

There is nowhere on earth
That I would rather be then right now
I could not imagine any other way
With any other soul but you
The only thing that’s real is you
96 · Nov 2024
Undertow
Anthony Esposito Nov 2024
You swim and you sink.
How long can you hold your breath?
This current will take you,
Take all of you if you let it.
Sway and be calm.
Let the water take you away.
The undertow will take care of you.
96 · Mar 2022
Missed call
Anthony Esposito Mar 2022
I call your phone
but you don’t answer
Your out there
dancing in the dark.
And some point in between
Drinking and
playing make believe
I make peace with it all
We’re not kids anymore
We can’t get away with bad words
They stick around
And they sting and sometimes
Make you want to rip out your heart
I left a voicemail once
Silent as the stars above
You didn’t respond anyway
I laugh at it now
When I’m feeling down
It makes me feel better
That it makes no sense
Just something I let
stain the walls of my head
Like a pacing tiger in a cage
I lay in my bed
the ceiling a stage
For the memory of what could have been
No missed calls
Not ever
not even once
The dial tone puts me to sleep
A lullaby of static brings peace
Just one more try before I go to sleep
I’m a glutton for punishment
A problematic trait
That describes me
94 · Oct 2024
I miss you
Anthony Esposito Oct 2024
I remember winters,
when I was young.
I remember falling in the river,
When it was frozen.
Caught a glimpse of you in a person on the street, I followed them until it felt weird.

I miss you
I can’t believe,
It’s been so long.
I miss you.

You broke your leg,
Crabbing in Jersey.
The police let me ride in the back with you.
I miss you.

I miss you,
Like it was yesterday.
When I last saw you,
I miss you.

I saw in the hospital,
One to many times.
Always working on your leg,
It doesn’t matter now.

I remember crisp autumns,
Coaching my soccer team.
You screamed when we lost.
I remember it all.

I miss you,
Like it was yesterday.
I love you,
And I miss you every day.
Anthony Esposito Oct 2021
When your English teacher said you could write they lied.
When they said your work was far beyond those in your class, they meant similar.
All those sleepless nights just to write the perfect sentence, only for them not to acknowledge your plights.
When you wanted great you got good.
When you wanted to excel you floundered below.
To bask in their gaze of approval was your dream.
A nightmare of disapproval was your reality.
In the back of the class you wrote till your fingers went numb.
Juggling words for your poetic symphony circus.
All to be told it wasn't enough.
But you, you had earned this.
This grit and that tough.
A words man found like a diamond in the rough.
In the trenches of your English class.
Your Teacher was lying when they said you weren't good enough.
92 · May 2024
Poet
Anthony Esposito May 2024
I don’t even know how to do this anymore
Write for someone I don’t even know
To make them feel something
I don’t  know
Am I just in a mood?
These words seem so weak
I’m a poet but did I ever know it?
I can’t seem to put my finder to it
I’m a mess
Does that even come close to knowing
What’s it’s all been for?
I keep writing about loss
But what did I lose?
I’m still alive
And that something
I know it is
It’s short and simple
I’m here and I
Have one more line in me
I'm a poet and I think I always knew it
92 · Apr 2022
Small world
Anthony Esposito Apr 2022
They told me I have to grow up
as I’m throwing up the night before
all over the floor

Standing there watching the show
like I’m some sideshow freak
no idea the day of the week
or who I am anymore

Heard someone say rehab
so I tried  flying into the sun

Turns out it’s not a small world after all
No matter where you go
you’re past will follow
it’s a hard pill to swallow

They don’t teach you when you’re young the older you get
the easier it is to fake a smile
I stuck around for a while
just to show face  
                
Someone said they loved me
so I tried to run
but I flew too close to the sun

Turns out it’s not a small world after all
No matter where you go past will follow This life can be hard pill to swallow.
90 · Jun 2024
Parasite
Anthony Esposito Jun 2024
you’re not even there
Looking at you past the mirror
What’s all this have to do with me?
it couldn’t be any clearer
Melt away that skin
Show what’s hidden underneath
What does it mean?
What can you even say to defend it?
You shrinking
it almost  pathetic
I’ve been thinking
Over this again and again
Your hands are in my head
Twisting my thoughts
I just wanna be happy
I just want to be free
I just Want to be free
I just want to be me
Free from this parasite
89 · May 2024
The Machine
Anthony Esposito May 2024
You put all your trust in the internet
They said it was the future.
The machine will show bud the way
To a better tomorrow.
But tomorrow came and they took all the books away.
People started protesting
Marching in the streets.
The voice over the loud speaker
Said trust in the machine.
As the tear gas filled the sky.
We put all our trust in the machine
And it took over the world.
They see you when your sleeping
They know when you’re awake.
You gave them all the power
It was a fatal mistake.
You watch from the hilltop
The missiles lit the sky
The machine took over the world
That’s burning in front of your eyes
Anthony Esposito Nov 2024
I was drinking wine out of a solo cup,
When the shots rang out.
I saw the blood from the start,
It really looked like it hurt.
They tried to **** the president.
America are you sure?
The secret service was fast,
They covered him like a breaking story.
The reporters said it was gory,
But he was ok.
It only grazed his ear,
He pumped his hands in the air.
And I don’t care,
Who you are.
In that moment you said,
what the **** am I watching.
It’s all a blur,
They went to a commercial break.
It all looked so fake,
Like the moon landing.
They said he lived,
He’s in a hospital bed.
Talking the same nonsense,
He could have been dead.
But it doesn’t make a difference,
They don’t care.
It’s all a dream,
And we all have one.
It’s what it means to you,
Do you care enough?
86 · Aug 2024
Bright light
Anthony Esposito Aug 2024
Started as a heart beat,
My head against your chest.
The sound of your heart beat,
It was so loud.
It grew to super sonic.
I know it was a fireworks show.
The light from you lit up the room,
Like the sun exploded.
It started with a heart beat,
And ended like a light show.
This light so bright,
It blinded people for miles.
I’m looking at the bright light,
You left wherever you would go.
And it all ended the way that you would have thought
In tragedy this love was turned to stone.
This bright light in the dark was all
That shown.
I’m standing as a witness to a horror show,
The light ain’t as bright as you thought.
And you retreat to the basement that you know,
Ain’t no light been there in so long.
You’re standing at the edge again.
The wind  blows your hair,
As the bright light of the sun beats down.
This bright light blinded you long ago.
You have to let go.
85 · Jun 2022
Slow motion
Anthony Esposito Jun 2022
I don’t like to dream
Because I might dream of you
And when I wake
It’s like losing you all over again

The walls come closing in
And the sound becomes so small
Slow motion sets in
And I’m not there anymore

Took a pill to fall asleep
Like giving candy to a baby
Washed it down with my favorite *****
It burns so good

Sleep in till noon
And when I wake
Just lay there thinking of you
They say your mind will betray you

My town is a mile long
Feels like a prison most of the time
There’s a sign that sits at the edge of town
It reads please come back again

And we always do
What were told to do
It gets old real fast
When you outgrow your past

Slow motion shuts off
And it all comes rushing back
And I'm back in the same old routine
Still dreading falling asleep
85 · Feb 4
Playing with fire
Haven’t seen sunlight since long ago.
Shadows rule here,
In this kingdom of dark.
This place hasn’t been fun,
Since 1999.

I don’t see anyone laughing,
I don’t see children playing.
Their all stuck in their phones,
They’re all pretending.

It takes a war to make them look up.
But just for a moment, to say what for?
And their gone again,
Till the next missile launches.

They’re playing with fire,
And they’re gunna get burnt.
Let it all burn down,
Let it take this small town.

And their off again,
On a new quest to save someone.
But they don’t save a soul,
They just convince themselves.

And it goes on and on,
From dusk till dawn.
And it’s old and tired,
But they think they’re still young.

And let them never speak of this place again.
Let it all end,
And let them never speak of this place anymore.
Let’s forget about it,
This whole **** world.

Saw another school shooting on the news,
Why does it seem normal?
Why don’t I seem burdened?
How sick are we all?

I’d rather be dreaming,
I’d rather be blinded.
I don’t have the heart for the truth,
It’s all so grim.

I’d rather ignore it.
It’s so sad to take in.
I’d rather pretend.
It’s all a dream.

They’re playing with fire,
And they’re gunna get burnt.
Let it all burn down,
We’ll pray when it’s done.
83 · Sep 2024
Little Things
Anthony Esposito Sep 2024
These little things,
the build up inside of me.
Can’t feel a thing,
I’m consumed by the pain.
It takes steps to make it out of this.
I can’t help,
But to feel trap In this mess.
These little things,
The eat at my soul.
I need a break.
I can’t control how I feel.
These little things,
They’ve grown into something much worse.
I hate how much it hurts.
These little things,
They are so much more.
Anthony Esposito Aug 2024
The moons glow,
My spot light.
Step on my tippy toes,
Around your egg shells.
What a mess,
What a horror story.

Just move slow,
Don’t let them see you strain.
Learn to love the pain,
Your motivation.
Open your mouth,
But nothing comes out.

Tired slow breathing,
Sounds of regret.
You slip into the darkness,
They can’t pull you back.
You’re on your own.

This silence feels like home.
But your so far away,
You reach but you can’t touch.
Your all alone,
Just like when you were born.

You scream out,
But no one hears you.
This silence feels like home.
So you stay still,
Your heart beat is the only sound.
80 · Sep 2024
Body
Anthony Esposito Sep 2024
Cracks in the cement,
Your body bent.
Like a maze over it all.
Sweet but small,
A bad attitude.
That’s what they said,
That’s what everyone said about you.
You came from above,
From where your body fell from.
You fell so far,
You fell so hard.
You fell for all the bad ideas.
So let’s make it clear,
You’re not the victim here.
You never were.
You never were here at all.
You started as a ghost,
And became what you hated most.
77 · Oct 2024
I saw you
Anthony Esposito Oct 2024
I remember when you told me to be brave,
And I won the championship game.
I remember when you said mom,
Doesn’t want you living here.

It was a spark,
That lit me up.
I knew then,
It was all down hill.

It the night I wished for you,
And I settled for dreams.
In the day I saw you,
And you made me scared.

I wanted to impress you,
But I let you down.
You wanted to impress me,
But you died too soon.

And the sky lit up,
With fireworks.
You said this was New Jersey.
And I always kept that in my mind.

And when the police man said you were dead.
I banged my fist against the fall.
And I walked down the stairs,
To the empty basement.

You were gone.
You were no more.
I said a prayer,
The first one in awhile.

.
77 · Oct 2024
I love you
Anthony Esposito Oct 2024
Saw you in a dream,
You were chasing me.
You followed me for miles,
Really wore me down.
You almost got me,
You almost won.

But I got away,
It ain’t as fun.
When you don’t get to ****,
The ones who want to do you harm.

I wish you well,
I hope you live.
To see a better day,
Or any day again.

I don’t know you,
But  I hope you get to live.
To see another day.
I know you’re brave.

You’ll survive it.
I hope you do.
I hope you finish the race,
I hope you win.

I love you now,
I loved you then,
I love you always.
And when it’s over,
I’ll love you still.

I’ll love you forever,
Until the sun burns out.
I love you now,
I’ll love you forever.
67 · Sep 2024
Bike Rider
Anthony Esposito Sep 2024
Hey bike rider,
Harley in your blood.
I miss you,
Like the moon misses the sun.
I think of you still,
All the time.

Well you left behind a lot,
You had some demons in your closet.
They came out and scared us all.
But you memory is strong,
Your face is everywhere I look.

I remember in the sand,
You broke your knee.
I rode in the ambulance,
And I thought I’d was so great.

I wish I could go back,
But it’s stored in the back of my memories.
Like on dusky in a museum,
That only I can see.

Hey bike ride,
The wind in your face.
I miss you around this place.
I picture you,
In the open road.
Driving out into the sun.

I got your voice in my head,
All the time.
It haunts me in a good way,
I can’t explain.
I wish I had the harley in my blood,
But I don’t.

Well you left behind a lot,
Some good and some bad.
What I would give,
For a moment with you.
I’ll love you always,
Dad.
61 · Dec 2024
Sin
Anthony Esposito Dec 2024
Sin
Smoking my last cigarette
In the cold New Jersey wind.
I feel young again,
But I’m older than I think.
There’s alone
And then there’s all by yourself.
Leave those feelings,
Up on the shelf.
Take shot to feel warm,
Your heart was born to feel pain.
These ghost that haunt these halls,
They carry such a burden on them.
Kiss the love of your life,
And watch her leave.
She was never yours,
She sank her teeth.
Into your yellow skin,
You’re such a fool to believe,
This girl is filled with sin.
This was a tale as old as time.
A movie where every scene had a bad line.
Where every character dies.
And the hero never wins,
No matter how hard they try.
And love doesn’t win at the end.
I’ve seen this before,
I know how it ends.
Not a final kiss,
No “we can be friends.”
Just an awkward goodbye.
And a sad, lonely, few couple of nights.
And then maybe some more.
They don’t pick up the phone
And one day your ok,
With being alone.
You start to  drink to forget.
Then start calling your friends.
You drink even more,
Starts to feel like a bag.
And you start to see her face.
And you hate that you are,
Who she said that you were.
The villain of your own movie.
This beautiful , sad, love story.
This wasn’t how you thought it would end.
With you all alone.
25 · 6d
Anywhere
I wish I could be anywhere but here.
But anywhere isn’t far enough from here.
And I’m sick of thinking of you,
Would rather be thinking of anyone,
but you.
And it’s everywhere,
The things that remind me of you.
And I’m starting not to care anymore.
Wish for the end to come,
From anywhere.
But I’d be ok if it came from you.
Your hands wrapped around my neck.
Squeezing the life from everywhere, inside me.
And it’s no good to anyone,
Anywhere anymore.
Let your guard down
Like you let your hair down for me.
And make me feel
Like I wish I was nowhere but here.
I could be anywhere,
I’d be right here.
Forever by your side.
Play your games,
And I’ll play mine.
You kiss your strangers,
And I’ll kiss mine.
But we both wish we could be anywhere,
Where we’re side to side.
So bow your head,
And pray to God.
You never did that before,
Maybe this time it will help.
And all your love,
Has gone to waste.
In a lovers arms.
And you're out of breath,
With every step.
You struggle to stay awake,
You wish you could be anywhere but here.
This ship had sank.
And I as the captain I will go down with it.
And wish I was anywhere doing anything,
But wasting your time.
So say your finale goodbye,
Kiss me on the forehead like a child.
And do the walk of shame out of my life.
And deep down be happy,
That you’re gunna be anywhere away from me.
If I could be anywhere, any place far away from here.
Id sell my soul,
To the devil himself.
And live in the fire.
And I wish I could be anywhere where you are.
23 · Jul 14
Tastes Like Fire
Well you tried to put the fire out,
But it spread to the house.
And your starting to blame yourself,
Because you lit the match.

But the fire starts to look just like the sun,
You stared at as kid,
Dreaming of love.
You drink to forget,
But it just tastes like fire.
And it spreads until it burns you down.

You spread lies like the devil,
Whispered in her ear.
Told tales of love and desire,
Just like a story teller.
And she believed you like her father,
Would always keep her safe.
But he can’t protect her from you.
You drink to forget,
Everything you’ve done.
But it just tastes like fire.
Like you’re drowning in the flames.

You pray to devil again,
He just wants to be your friend.
God hasn’t answered in years.
You wait all night for day to come,
So you can find your way.
You didn’t mean to break her heart,
But some endings are dark.
So you light a fire,
So you can see your way through.
You drink to forget,
But it just tastes like fire.

You want to watch it spread!
You want to watch it spread!
You want to watch it spread!
You want to watch it spread!
You want to watch it spread!
You want to watch it spread!
Are you shedding your skin?
You don’t seem yourself.
Catch a demon
In the mirror
Look again it’s you.
Just imagine your not real
What would you do?

Temp the sultan
Then burn the temple down.
Let it all out
Just spit it out.
**** your God
Just to make another one.

Spin the circle
Stay within the lines
You’re not who you think you are,
You’re just your father’s son.

I heard the voice
Calling me in.
I knew the choice was everything.
I did what was necessary, you can't pretend to know everything.

It’s gotten to far,
Out of your reach.
You can’t make a difference,
It’s not what you think.
You’re not who you think.

It doesn’t make sense,
It never did.
I’m starting to question everything.

Temp the sultan
Then burn the temple down.
Let it all out
Just spit it out.
**** your God
Just to make another one.

Spin the circle
Stay within the lines
You’re not who you think you are,
You’re just your father’s son.

Hold on friend
This is where it  gets hard.
When the world feels like it’s breakable.
And you feel like  a shard of glass,
Waiting to break into a million pieces.

No crown above your head
You were never worthy.
You were never pure.
You let your soul get away.

Now you tempt the sultan
Then burn the temple down.
Let it all out
Just spit it out.
**** your God
Just to make another one.

Spin the circle
Stay within the lines
You’re not who you think you are,
You’re just your father’s son.

— The End —