You can't win them all; a man is who he is, and killing's no way to make a living. Some thing like that, you can't take back. Right, wrong, whatever. That stink will stick. Still, each night you run on home to mother and tell her "everything's going to be alright," and you know it is, because there's always enough love in the valley.
.

Not all nods are signs of approval, relit cigarettes never taste the same, and most of those shining knights are just ******* in tinfoil. Concepts of breaking and bravery are intricately and intimately connected, not mutually exclusive. You never thanked the ocean for your ability to swim, so why thank someone for your ability to survive? You’ve learned all of this on your own! We’re all stuck, stumbling, searching for a narrative; just remember that, one day, all this blood you’ve spilt will be the inspiration that sets you free.

those tears
are an acceptable
expression of guilt

this is forwarded to you
no one i know owns anything
and i don't think most people i know ever will
i'm tired of being bewildered and hanging on to helplessness
i want it all to end soon
know that anything is possible
in these moments of such complete denial
but everyday clumsy stubborn beautiful ideas
wither and rot on the vine
i'm tired of this so called state of affairs
i'm calling an end to fear and paranoia and self-intimidation
i'm done watching the world spin, as if nothing is happening at all
i'm done waiting
this is dedicated to waitresses and junkies and carpenters
to secretaries and schizophrenics and alcoholics
to the imminent societal collapse
this is dedicated to all those who are denied the love they so justly deserve
and everything inbetween
the future is as it ever was
unsure and bleak and beautiful
for all we know, tomorrow they might arrest us all
listen closely to the movements
ascribe adequate weight to dissidents and whisperers
some hearts only keep on beating as long as you keep on listening
try to be free
try not to be afraid
no matter what they say
the end of the world will never come.

two of the worlds loneliest people
sitting side-by-side on the train
seeing each other every day on the way to work
never knowing the other feels exactly the same
all it takes is a smile, or a wave
people will reciprocate!
hoping for someone to reach out a hand
to grab life by the throat and shake it awake
the feelings they share that they're too scared to show
the feelings we all have that nobody knows.

swallowed up and
we're leaning on the edge
leave it behind and
remember it as lost
leave it behind and
remember it as love

She said
Son, there is nothing special about you.
You come from a long line of regular people.
There was nothing extraordinary about me or your father
or our parents and their parents.
There are no prophecies or legends about your coming.
You aren't destined to do great things.
I leave little money and few possessions.
There are no great riches awaiting you.
There are no secrets.
You are you, and nothing more.

He said
Mom?

She said
That means
there is no path set out for you.
So anything you accomplish
anything you become
will be truly your own.

and he wonders when this dream will end. he wonders if it's actually a dream, or just a particularly persistent fragment of a memory. "all is made to thrill," he thinks, "smiles are fleeting and beauty is still." and still, even if it'd all been done before, who wouldn't give their whole life to do it all again?
but he knows there's no time. the summer is already up and running and we're so tired and they're all so disappointed. people make promises that break all the time. although there's an assurance in assuming, at times he missed the simple comforts of being sad.

quit separating who you "are" and who you "claim to be". believe that the way you are is the way you're meant to be. focus on blinding the world with what, until now, have been but glimpses of angelic silhouettes and stop tripping over old mistakes and regrets. sometimes, you make it harder on yourself, but that's what it's means to live with a heart wide open; yes, there's pain, but you're learning and it's lovely. keep smiling. stay sweet and continue adding color to this black hole we call life.

and when you said you wanted to stay static forever
i was mad because, in my mind, static did everything but stay together
staring out the window with eyes closed
letting insecurity and immaturity show
we went back to work and
i did everything to show you how much i was hurt
i built a wall, hoping you'd break it down
i pushed you away, hoping you'd tell me you wanted to stick around
you asked what was wrong, i said everyone leaves eventually
so you left and took every part that meant something to me.

a lonely room that houses
a lonely chair that holds
a lonely man that hasn't
risen in days finds the strength to say
these walls have ears!
these walls have ears!
old man, you have no idea!
press that little life to your heart
continue to pray the pain away
your whispers leave traces
it's all that you have left
there will be no second night!
now, close those simple eyes
and burn! my god!
old man, you have no idea

i haven't been happy
since i was young
all responsibilities
no fun
i'm slave to a master i'm not even sure exists
and i don't know how much longer i can do this
just another sunrise just another sunset
and i'm still trying to remember how to forget

so i sat and watched you bleeding with a book
they say a pictures worth a thousand words
but there's not yet enough words to describe that look
that you gave to me before you went home
i'll keep wandering in bed alone.

I'm not enlightened, or righteous. Nothing I love is original. I'm a cynic, a bore, a parasite. A festering wound that should have long scabbed over by now. I'm only happy when I'm miserable.  And yes, it's easy to draw them in, and even to hold them for a while. But, eventually, it sets in. So, give me a chance. and I can make you happy, too.

my hairs on fire and there's
no driver behind the wheel
she tells me
"i have no idea what this feels like"
and for once i know
exactly what she's talking about

you look so lonely
in those photos with your friends
how can anybody know you if
the means never justify the end
no, no one can stop you
while you're blowing up those lines
if you don't care to take
the ****** nose as a sign
you want to stay home from school
and lose yourself, playing in the snow
only it's not as great as you imagine
we've lost you long ago
and we'd do anything to have you back
what you have more than makes up for what you lack
not a wolf, but a shadow

Wise men and fools wonder of the existence of God, of destiny, of life and what it all means. Some spend their entire lives in pursuit of the truth. Others worship at the feet of those who claim to know. There is only one question. You can love someone completely without loving all their thoughts, actions and decisions. Happiness exists in the journey, for there is no perfect union. It is said that love is patient, love is kind. It's accepting that flaws reflect our true selves and make us who we are. It's beauty is found in those moments of reconciliation just when all seems lost. The choice to persevere despite the unknown road ahead. Love is a continuous process. It is precious and it is wholly unique. Learn to make love stay and you can find God. Learn to make love stay and I can show you destiny. Learn to make love stay and we can truly discuss life and all that it means.

and i find myself wondering
how i would react on a sinking ship
would i reach for someone to hold?
would i look for a bottle of whiskey?
would i bash my fists and gnash my teeth
would i cry out and curse the sky
would i allow my tears to slip into the sea
and give to the grip of the grave that's reaching out for me?
or would i accept my fate with a smile on my face
content as it slipped beneath the waves

you never really know the people you love
some things really are thicker than blood
just because you've managed to forget
doesn't mean it's happened for them yet
just because you've left it alone and far behind
doesn't mean it's not still running through their mind
sometimes, you come home to find they've changed the locks
and when you call their phone, it turns out your numbers been blocked
the light goes off, a chill runs down your spine
and you realize you've finally run out of time

swollen, pushed to the edge
                                and no one remembers the price
                                           holding so tightly
                               could we ever trust honest again?

On the way home, I stopped at the field. Standing at the edge, I was greeted by a million tiny faces and they were all asking the same question. "If you really don't care, then why are you so angry all the time?"

you knew you'd burn all of your beliefs
if it made them not want to leave
you don't know how it came to be this way
and you don't know how to say
that you're just living in the moment
trying to keep warm
washed out but not clean
seeking shelter from the storm
you can still hear them say
Oh, you're alright, you're okay
We're proud of you anyways
it's hard to build a future
when you're still buried in the past
less about the answers
more about the questions asked
talk of moving forward
never mentioning what you leave behind
something you haven't yet noticed missing
something you'll never find
and the mountains that you carry
you were only supposed to climb
what hurt them the most
was hearing you explain
why you shouldn't have been hurt
by what was causing you so much pain
memories of inspiration not yet found
seeds blamed for being planted in the ground

Be honest, be free, give yourself completely.
Don't hesitate to make things.
Don't talk yourself out of doing things.
Be full and fit to burst.
Stop sitting and watching and copying.
Stop being dead at heart.
Let them have their TVs and cars and money.
Let them crawl in imitation.
Let them be common and dull.
Quit leaning on your beliefs.
Words are easy and cheap and petty.
Delineate yourself through action.

walking alone one night
and the wind, it blows
wondering of time and space
love and other things i'll never know
before i knew it,
i was back in my own yard
the glow was gone
my mind was back on guard
another miserable december
no, i know i'm not dead
i know i'll make it through
but blood flows harshly in my head
the moon glares down
followed closely by its army
back inside, inside the bed
where it's never able to find me
feeling the call of sleep
but staying awake instead
rather stay where i can find you
rather keep my mind inside my head.

and i dig until my fingers are black
looking for what i lack
all i find are worms and dirt
my head is sore and my back hurts
i can still hear the last words that you told me
"i don't mind being alone, i just hate feeling lonely"
and i cage my tongue
in the space behind my teeth
i'm counting 5.4.3.2.1.
i'm remembering how to breathe
cause if you say you never loved me
i'll know you're still a liar
and if i say i never wondered
i deserve every inch of this terrible fire

See the signs. Don’t look away, don’t get used to them. Remove them yourself. Be free. Show others how it can be done. Stand out (I mean, someone has to). Yes, it’s easier to follow along. Yes, it feels weird to do something strange, something different. But it’s okay to feel uncertain, uneasy, and unusual. You know what’s right, so set an example. Break the spell. Others will follow.

the reason i cant breathe
why i'm losing sleep
the waters always cold
and i've been drinking from my knees
eyelids stuck together
i haven't smoked in like a week
living in the shadows
missed the forest for the trees
bodies growing wider
patience growing thin
the plants all move inside
seeking shelter from the wind
questioning thoughts of doubt
while your teeth are rotting out
paranoia
everything is dying
i finally feel alive
praying for an answer
whatever i decide
so they beg for rain
with sacrifice of blood
your wishes will be granted
your reward: the flood.

you got a lot of followers
but not that many friends
does it keep you warm and night?
will you feel safe upon the end?
you talk of starting over
yeah, you want to burn it down
the seeds will never be clean
after they've been buried in the ground
you remember things
you knew were never true
yeah, you boast of things
you know you'd never do
like a lighter without a flame
it will be never be the same
when they've all been beaten back
then who will you blame?
yeah, you pass the hat
and you collect their change
while you speak of your crusade
not knowing that
the end will come
from the rust upon the blade

fleeting glimpses of angelic silhouettes
caught up in old mistakes and regrets
the tide line recedes
leaving a trail of fire in its wake
she's abandoning chance
and embracing faith
and i just hope she remembers to bend
before she breaks.
when i look at her
i'm reminded of someone i once knew
now she's just a stranger in my room.
(she was like suicide; everyone flirted with her, but few were man enough to pull the trigger).

Please, follow the light of logic,
but don't be blinded by it.
Heed your emotions,
but don't let them lead you.
Reserve judgement,
not compassion.
Above all, learn to love your smile;
the world is a dark enough place already.
Remember that you're learning,
and it's lovely.
I love you.

i've never been good with death
i'm terrified by the thought
of eternal rest
i bring no words of comfort
no distraction from the grief
i stand there like a statue
offering no hope or relief
i see it as a ritual
in my eyes it seems wrong
i know it's what you do
but i can't make myself play along
eventually, the right words
come running through my head
but it doesn't matter now
because you're already dead.

Who said it would be easy? I mean, no one survives. We watch what we love wither and die. There's so much artificial light. All the things you go through, they stay with you. And you've tried, because you're supposed to.

There are colors in your eyes that the rainbow will never know.

That is all. Goodnight.

keep it like a secret
bury it safe inside your chest
give a toast to what they've taken
and cheers to what they've left

then, beget a curse
on all you tried to save
spit in the face of innocence
better a master than a slave

dampen the fire in those eyes
before you lose control
meditate on love and loss
and sacrifice that temporary soul

as the cigarette burns and burns my fingers
glimpses of you as the smoke lingers
two lives on an ever branching path
wondering how other lovers make it last
tell the truth, even if your voice shakes
be the difference that hope makes
my mouth opens but makes not a sound
think of this moment when you wonder why she's no longer around

a moment of joy
a fall from grace
now an empty shelf
instead of an angels space

always cracked, no matter
how well it's assembled
gone, lost to our breath or
the ground as it trembles

i asked what she'd found
as she collected the fragments
a feeling of loss, hopelessness
despair and detachment

it was only half as precious
as i had originally thought
she smiled as she told me
love is given, never bought