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Anthem Dec 2016
this empty house
won't wait for me
this hollow heart
won't comfort me
after all of this
what am i without the bruises?
why was i so willing to lose it?
stack the wood in a pile
with my body inside
let me feel warm again
i just want to be warm again
Anthem Dec 2016
you're alone
surrounded in a room full of people
you take up smoking to try and make friends
the cameras are always watching
the doctors are always writing
your family prays for you to get better
you've lost ten pounds in six days

and soon, the doctor comes in
he says your insurance won't pay for any more days
so you're better now
life is better now
and you believe him
you believe he's telling you the truth
because you want to

your mom came and picked you up
with the most beautiful smile you'd ever seen
but there was worry in that smile
you got home, went to your bedroom, shut the door
caught a passing glimpse of yourself in the mirror
you stopped and thought
maybe i can finally get it right this time

you slept on it
every night for the past few months
you write poems to pass the time
of lost loves and subtle dreams
not where you are
but where you want to be
and you talk to a god you don't even believe in
hoping that's enough
Anthem Dec 2016
I sing of "Beautiful you"
and it makes me want to choke
i avoid the eyes of the angel, lest i be ******
i fill a diary
with all the ways i'm doomed
i want to fight
i want to join a club
i am haunted
by these invisible monsters
while they sing their lullabies
i try to make something up
rendered a pygmy
always ranting, raving
***** out all the candles
the truth is stranger than fiction
i am a survivor
this is nothing but a tell-all
Anthem Dec 2016
it's too calm
and safe
and boring
how can it
ever get better
if it never
gets worse?
Anthem Dec 2016
talked of dropping him at the hospital
but we settled on the park
we got him in the car and
we waited til it got dark

we found an empty spot
and we laid him on the bench
we wondered about the difference
between enemies and friends

one last look goodbye
then we slid into the night
and god bless whoever found him
since then, none of us have felt right

we saved the mourning for the morning
at the funeral we acted surprised
but i couldn't shake the feeling
of his stapled and judgemental eyes.
Anthem Dec 2016
keep it like a secret
bury it safe inside your chest
give a toast to what they've taken
and cheers to what they've left

then, beget a curse
on all you tried to save
spit in the face of innocence
better a master than a slave

dampen the fire in those eyes
before you lose control
meditate on love and loss
and sacrifice that temporary soul
Anthem Dec 2016
and suddenly, we awoke
frozen and unable to laugh
your eyes burned right through me
strange thoughts on another nervous night

do you believe in karma?
the rope cuts through me
as deep as any knife

it might not be what i deserve
it might not be enough

i asked, but you gave me no response.
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