That moment when someone looks at you and says
" you look like you need a hug "
Not knowing that would only exacerbate my disconnection  
I can feel the beat of your heart
And I still feel so far away

I don't know where it comes from
Its not like knowing
It's more like water flowing
As my fingers break the surface
With it's depth it grasps me
Fathoms down to where few have been
Deep enough to lose myself
Deep enough to drown
As the surface breaks
The water slides from me
From my veins the blood on the page
Channeling that vast ocean that swells in us all
The very same tide we ride when we die

I wasn't always broken

In days of yore

I was bright and happy

Unfortunately that light

Made this darkness all the more

Clarity
             Touch
        My
                           Dreams
                                           Make
                            Them
                 Real
                                                          Kiss
                                       My
                                               Lips
                           And
     Make
                 Me
                           Feel

.                                                                                                              .
                             Is it in this pocket or that one
                         A quick tap to tell me what I've got
                         It must be here i left it nowhere else
                   One more check and ill see where I've been
                            Not near my chair nor in the car
                   It must have fallen off the edge of the world
                                 It would have been nice
                              To have one more cigarette
                           Before the night closed in on me

Life in the dark
Where the heartwood sleeps

Goodnight love
The stars are high
In the moonlit sky
The wind brushing branches just outside
Let your eyes grow heavy
Let your mind relax
Do not cry its not the end
When you wake tomorrow
It begins again

Cold stone.
we lay in the earth.
To remind me your not around.
As if i needed that,
to remember,
that we laid you in the ground.
For over 40 years,
we laughed.
Yet there are tears now.
Its sad that all my friends,
are in the ground.
Now its only cold stones.
Just remind me,
that their better now,
And soon i to will join them in the ground.

Be the light.
Be the light,
So they can see.
Be the wind,
So they can breathe.
Be the mind,
So they can dream.
Be the son,
For them to love.
Be a father,
Who is strong and true.
Be the light,
That lives in you.

Love knew
                           Time may
                                                   heal the void

~                     History maligned
                      I have come to find
                    The past come round
                          To start again
               And go back down the slide

Inside time,cold broken love.
Memory knows my face these days.
The ****** years are passing like leaves on the wind.
Today my hearts spring,gentle dream.
Tomorrow feel the light and hope they stay.
The evening circle has fallen.
Whispered poison of fading joy.
Sweet past things gently dying,
I return there where she was buried,
Lay the Lilly on the grave ,
Then turn and walk away.

~     A life without love
 *Is akin to death without rest

The
        haunting
                         distinction
                                             between
*What
            is
                and
                       what
                                 has
                                       passed

I am not what i look like
I am not my tattoos
I am not my disabilities
I am not my body
I am more than what you see
I am the light that identifies with infinity
I am a splinter of the Devine as you are
And someday when this body dies
And is laid in the ground
My soul will go out to everything
So there is no need to cry
Ill be with you
Because My spirit never died

Well the summer has come
As i wither in the sun
104 today at your door
Even the breeze
Doesn't give any ease
Where are the gentle rains
Ill have to wait for autumn again

~                                Away went the light
                          There was silence in my heart
                        The day i left the things I've lost
                       Inside the wind there where tears
                       Old dreams where like memory's
          Life left years for love but we have to face the winter
                     Cold i lay gentle hearts fire gone out
                     Someday beauty may grow from me
                 Slowly passed and filled the autumn moon
                   Midnight summers is where i will dream
                        Find me where you first found me
                             Under blue shattered sky's
           Starlit corner where are whispers turned to starlight
                              Beneath the weeping tree
                              In the valleys of our youth

~                        Its said that may is dry
                           As winter slowly dies
                Yet this evening opened up the sky
                  The wind blew in as rain fell slow
                        I think to myself perfection
   Listening to gentle drops on the awning just above me
       There is not another place that i would rather be
   I know i should be sleeping but i know that by the dawn
        The rain will have run away and it will all be gone
      So sit with me a while longer and share a gentle tear
  But before to long the rain has gone and it will be hot here

Ever get the feeling that theres no point
All this pain and hardship
Is it just a long road to nowhere

I have lost the sound.
Deep within the winter ground.
All have passed with the autumn,
Laid under cold stones.
The marks for memory,
So from time to time,
We can stop and say hi.
Its sad really,
That i only hear it here.
With your passing the tune went still.
Now i sit alone on the hill,
Where we watched stars,
Reflected back in your eyes.
And when the weight of life's to much,
And I'm feeling out of touch.
I can close my eyes,
And sit in stones.
Feel you near me not alone,
So when im feeling down,
Ill calm myself with your sound.

Im pretty sure the universe thinks im a *****....
Cause i keep getting ******

I will get our things for they don't want us here
Now i shall sleep and remember earlier times
Your time will come to cross the shifting sands

The light was embered coal,
That danced within your soul,
As the sky fled from the evening,
And once again alit the coin that silvered in the night,
Though not bright its gentle light would guide me from the shadows,
The air is chilled as whipper will cried into the darkness,
As wind will moan I'm not alone deep within my chasm,
A dream of light some other night with darkness all around me,
And dream well on until the sun sweeps the dark horizons ,
As light will soon so i shall too retreat into the morning.

Out from the darkness there came a voice,
We where there the day you where conceived,
The day your mother met your father,
Before you where a dream,
The deepest dark that lies in hearts,
The haunting mysteries ,
We made for you of bone and blood,
A body for you to live,
To make your home make it your own,
For you will have to live there ,
I know you feel alone,
But in due time your body dies,
And the lies will be forgotten ,
For we are one the earth and sun,
In soil in tree in everything ,
The coil is what makes it hard to remember ,
Where never alone before and after ,
Its good to know that all things are connected,
So when i go ,
I want you to know,
Ill be with you forever.

Away the silence went the day my heart left.
Sunlight trickled through though ill be gone.
Cold love inside tears forgotten lost in time.
Broken lay the wind it left old leaves on the stone,
There once grew roses when the winter came.
Tomorrow may dream of spring,
But today in autumn rains.
Yet the day when summer rolls our way,
Its not so long away.
Gentle dreams on warmest breeze,
And in the gorgeous evening haze,
We dream we dreamed our lives away.

I could feel the way
As you pushed away
And away away i went

You've been a memory so long
*Your just another part of me

We could be stars
We could be trees
We could be everything you wanted to be
We could fly high
We could dive low
We could be everywhere you want to go
We could be sweet
We could be sour
We could sit and watch the stars for hours
We could be large
We could be small
We could find the love that is laced in us all
We could stand tall
We could fall
We could kneel at our place in the wall
We could be one
We could be everything
We could have it all
We could grow old
We could die young
We could stay up
We could sleep in
We could wake up to find its all alright

Couldn't mother play a song in silence
Todays voice will echo when shes gone
As her strength is your strength
*she will wait for you in silence

Im fighting demons on the daily.
Trying to walk out from all this shadow,
Remember where i left the light.
Seems like more than a lifetime,
I am tired of the waiting.
I am tired of being in here.
Seems like the way its always been,
Hope i can make it different.

Just like love
                                  The heart knows
                                                                           Its time to break
                                       And broken
                                                                    Light leaves the world
                                    Leaving me cold
When love leaves the world
                                   All hearts are still

Love is beautiful.
Love is hard.
Love is terrifying.
Love is comfort.
Love is pain.
Love is healing.
Love is autumn rain.
Love is sunny days.
Love is waiting to be ok.
Love is life ,
And love lasts on after death.

Bathe in waters sweet
*To wash the pain from me

Its the fur you wrap around yourself
As you step into the void

The void of utter loneliness
Into the dark thats felt inside

Clutching shadow desperately
No one to see the scars

Nothing up above your head
Not a single ******* star

The winter winds howl ever here
And alone it keeps you warm

Bitter thoughts are ****** friends
But there far better than none

So here i am again so tired but cant turn in,
The days are long the drinks are strong to spice lady evening,
As coolness comes with the fleeing sun,
And peeking out through misty clouds the moon is on the hill,
So the peace this simple ease precludes the coming storm,
A dancing leaf on lines laid deep the only proof of memory,
For whats not now has past somehow away into the evening,
At times we frown then turns arounds find peace within the being,
The stream where in it never ends,
So lets clasp tight and holding might survive the coming rapids,
Though things move swift ahead a cliff will cascade into the fall,
Gentle now got through somehow though pain and ache may linger,
Your tinder skin still brings a grin though years have passed around us,
And some friends drowned ill be happy with what we have now,
Though in my heart they'll always be,
Theres something special in you and me,
We float on and patiently find love within the water.

As far as we can perceive
You
  Only
    Live
      Once

Bittersweet the dreams,
That left tears apon my cheek,
Bittersweet the memory ,
The days that passed between,
There i am I've always been ,
The lies that lie unseen,
And in the dark where lies my heart,
In lost forgotten dreams,
Of days that where yet never come again,
The lines laid down in my history,
Of what has past from present ,
I dream of them again,
Yet on waking they fled my mind,
Like sand i tried to grasp,
And all it left where tears apon my cheek.

~                              Here comes the rain
                           As winter turns to spring
                            There was a dying boy
                      But the rain gave him life again
                   withered stalks and browning fields
                                  Will gasp with joy
                      as soon they'll be turning green
                        bees are flying tending flower
                           for spring has come again
                            Raining is flowing down
                       It feels like tears are on my skin
                           Enjoy today before to long
                         Autumn winds will blow again

Somewhere there is a room.
Where there are boxes.
Filed away for some other day.
Who i used to be and all i ever see,
Is filed there unconsciously.
I feel so alone .
different.  disconnected.
Somewhere i know there is a box.
That keeps my light inside,
I know because it knows the light will never die.
Someday when the box is gone and buried in the ground,
The light the light goes back to where it once was found,
So don't you cry it was only my body that died.

It trickles by when life is slow
Yet when its fun how fast time goes

Minutes like decades
Years like seconds

In the space of a blink
Your hair will have turned to gray
And all your friends will have passed away
Left only old photos of bygone days

And in the mirror of youth
You'll hardly recognize  
The lines on your face
live today before its gone away

~      
                                  We swim in the ocean
                                    We swim in the seas
                                   It takes me away from
                                 Where i don't want to be
                          No indecision or foolish posturing
                              We swim in different oceans
                           Yet wash up on the same beach
                       Foreigners travelers but truly the same
                         We are one energy living subjectively
                                           So do not hate
                                     You are me as i am he
                       And we are one swimming in many seas

I don't know you
And you don't know me
Yet the moment i saw you
My heart began to sing
As if i had known you
A life or two ago
Perhaps when we die
Then we both will know

End of the line, we had a good time, we danced we sung we sent our love to everyone, even though we are old and gray we still have memory's of summer days, and tears seep now echoing the fear, of last days of sweetness gone away buried before we layed, getting old seems rather cold what was given is taken away.

Around around i hear the sound ,
Of fear within my veins,
Don't look now ,
Theres a silent cloud that threatens distant pain,
I will take this weakness and shoot it in my veins,
Tie up tie off you start to cough thats death inside your brain ,
The will of words you never heard will never abstain,
And in your heart you feel the start of wounds within your mind,
So listen now they all know how to fix what broke inside,
But there not sure they never where the masks they wear are broken,
Yet blood runs in filled with sin to stop the hearts from pumping,
Now cold as ice your body's life has fled into the open,
To everyone to everywhere we no longer are broken .