Anna Melody

Anna Melody Jun 2019

Purpose.

I’ve had to say goodbye to a lot of things this year.
But from all these things That have been ripped from me I am realizing my purpose.
This plan that my creator has written for me that has ultimately making my dreams come true. In ways that have changed my life.
All of what I have today required a lot of pain and so much patience.
I am thankful for the pain I went through.
I still struggle with my past but I’m learning that I will have the opportunity to digress, and share, and mentor.
The way I was molested somehow taught me to value my body.
The words he said to me somehow taught me that I was worth something.
The way everyone left somehow gave me a reason to stay even if it was hard.
All these things just to somehow be, a blessing in disguise.

Anna Melody Jun 2019

Cleansing Rain

Stand out in the pouring rain.
Feel the drops on your skin.
Look at the sky even though it hurts.
The pain is a reminder that you are alive.
Feel your soaked clothes and your drenched hair.
They remind you that you are present in this moment.
Look to where the clouds are traveling.
Then look to where they have already been.
The blue sky and the dark sky seamlessly merged together.
Remember that even though you walked away you were creating something new.
Cleansing yourself in the purest form.
Finding the person you were meant to be.

Anna Melody Jun 2019

Pain and Fear

We search for meaning in anything we can find to take away our pain.
The pain that won't seem to go away no matter what we do.
And it's not even the pain, but the fear that seems to protect us from it.
It's the reason I can't make new friends for the fear of not being good enough.
It's the reason she can't eat a meal more than a hundred calories for the fear of being judged.
It's the reason she, even at twenty years old, can't sleep without a night light, for the fear of not just the dark but the loneliness, and void the dark brings with it.
It's the reason she doesn't like being touched because of the way he touched her when she could just barely walk.
It's the reason why he wakes up to new girls every morning because he's afraid that a real relationship means he has to let someone in.
We look to anything we can to take away the pain for just a moment so we can breathe without the weight of the world on our shoulders.
Because there has to be a purpose for all this pain in the world.
If we are here to simply live, feel, and die… is it all for nothing?

Anna Melody May 2019

47 Calories

“I used to count stars.” She said with tears flooding her eyes and a half eaten apple in her hand.

Anna Melody May 2019

Beautiful Mess

You are a perfectly jumbled up mess.
One that hurts
Laughs
Cries
And rejoices.
You are not made for perfection.
You are made to feel.
And that in itself is pretty **** beautiful.

Anna Melody May 2019

You Are A Star

You, my love, have the stars in your eyes.
You're a dreamer,
A fighter,
A warrior.
You have been through hell and back,
Yet you speak with so much grace
Your smile alone makes flowers bloom.
You make the stars shine.

Anna Melody May 2019

When Did The World Change?

Where did it go all wrong?
Where did our sincerity go?
When did we stop caring?
Where did all the love go?
I used to count flower petals and rocks
Now I count calories and stop before I get to a thousand.
He used to play outside and climb trees
Now he can't get out of bed because the weight of his depression is holding him hostage.
We used to talk and ask how we were feeling and would tackle our problems together.
Now when we ask “ how are you?” we pray that they just say, “I’m doing good.” So we don't have to act like we care.
She used to love ponies and computer games, we would play until dark.
Now she enters loveless relationships and waits for her to break her before she feels like she can leave and find someone new.
When did the world change?
When did we decide to grow up?