Something within me
Just isn’t quite right,
Edging its way
Right into the light

Is it my fault,
Or is it my genes?
My mental unrest
Is more than it seems.

From inside my mind
This flaw is long etched
Bound and entwined
This bottle; my sketch

These spirits cajole me;
Caress, lick, and tame
Then slaughter my conscience
In shambles, my brain

My epitaph states
If I were to die
Of my lack of control;
An unanswered cry

And where can I go?
This race, can I halt?
The best and the worst;
It’s namely my fault.

Something inside me
Deep under my skin
Isn’t quite right
Diseased from within

Fallen above
The height of alone,
The solitude found
Is what I condone;

Hidden, and silent
Inside my cocoon
My demons and I;
ALONE, in my room.

Woke up in anger
Could not fathom why
The earth spun around me,
Why didn’t I die?

A stomach of *****
And a bottle of pills
Entwined with a death wish
Why wasn’t I killed?

I’m still in this bed
My face is the same
The primary difference
Is inside, I’ve changed

My stomach is fried
My headache, fair game
I shake and I cry
The whole world, deranged

From under these covers
My conscience is drowned
My thoughts turn around
Fatality bound

How do I get out?
How do I escape?
I’ll try it again,
For THIS is my sake.

Bottle after bottle
Relinquished the room
Discovered, and empty
Death, my perfume

Day after day
In this house of regrets
My mind and I fester
Alone and a mess

Blood on the walls
And dirt on the floor
Uncensored and raw
My heart on the door

If THIS is demise
And THIS is defeat
I’ve tumbled from lies
The truth came to meet

The parents all wonder
Just what they did wrong
The cause of my slumber;
So silent so long

Yet, everything differs
Although you can’t tell
I’m trying it sober
Unquenchable hell.

. . .

just,
never
yours.

far too young

to
be
this
**OLD